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Daily Life

Feeling really overwhelmed lately

Posted on January 20, 2018
Taking a much needed poke bowl break (and apparently Belles likes her poke with a side of puffs .) Seriously though, I love eating with Belles because it’s one of the few times I feel like I can relax around her (other than when she’s sleeping) because I know the only thing she’s putting in her mouth is food! I remembered that newborns are hard but somehow forgot that having a mobile baby is a full-time job because everything goes in their mouths!
        Yes, she’s adorable and I love spending the day with her but it’s also exhausting following her around making sure she doesn’t find a carpet fiber or a penny or small toy that K left out. No matter how much you vacuum, or how much you baby-proof, they always find something! And even though it isn’t work per se, the fact that you can’t take your eyes off of them can be draining sometimes. And watching the baby every waking moment means EVERY other thing can only be done when baby naps.
      So cleaning, laundry, dishes, dinner prep, shower, relaxing (HA! What’s that?), it all has to be squeezed into a couple hours! And if I recall correctly, this phase lasts oh, about a year .  I know in a couple months it will improve (and maybe she’ll only put 50% of the objects she finds in her mouth), but in the mean time it’s tough. I know, I know, cleaning can wait, sheets can be washed a little less frequently, and yes, these moments are fleeting. I just needed to rant a little today. But it’s also Friday so help will be here soon in the form of Daddy . And it’s almost beer-o’clock ? So, #breatheandrelease

 

Daily Life

Parent Teacher Conferences

Posted on January 19, 2018
When did she become such a little grown up?! Carrying her own backpack and drinking out of a cup and asking “why?” about Every. Single. Thing. We had parent-teacher conferences yesterday (I know… and she isn’t even 3 ) and I kind of had an idea about how things would go. I spend every second with K so I thought I knew everything about her development and what she still struggles with.
        I was pleasantly surprised about how well her teacher said she behaves at school (and much better than at home for Mom ?!) She sits in her seat most of the time (but wanders a little at lunch) and rarely throws tantrums. She still cries (fake cries) quite a bit, and much more than her peers (because she’s a little actress…) but less than before. Actually her teacher said yesterday was the first day she made it all day without crying but then when we went to pick her up when the conference was over, she was crying when we got there  Almost made it!
           Her teacher also mentioned several times how “independent” K is, along with words like “spirited”, “strong”, etc. Jason and I always laugh because we know it’s code for “You got one of the hard ones!!”, but we also know strong children become strong adults who can change the world! (At least that’s what we tell ourselves when we’re mad she thinks it’s okay to run 50 feet away from us without so much as a single look back as we chase her screaming her name ?.)
          We still need to work on her recognizing her name in writing but I found out she can count to 29, which surprised me. At home she stops at 13 and says she doesn’t know what comes next! For someone who is so independent about everything else, it’s kind of funny she’s been keeping an extra 16 numbers under wraps when she’s counting in front of us ?.
         Overall I left pretty much beaming. Not about her counting or other milestones – the school is not focused on academics and neither are we at this point, but about the kind words her teacher said about her. She seems to really love K, and “spirited” or not, she loves her spunky personality and her zest for life. It’s a good feeling when other people see what you see in your kids. You feel like you must be doing something right.

 

Daily Life

On Letting Go of My Expectations

Posted on January 17, 2018

What most of our pictures look like these days . I brought the girls to the Queen Mary today for the first time in maybe a year (and first time for Isabelle!) I thought at almost 3, K would be old enough to learn a little bit about the ship and enjoy looking around more than last time. But both girls enjoyed this phone booth more than anything else!

We spent a solid 20 minutes walking around it, looking inside of it, K wanted to open it and know what it was for… It’s hard for me sometimes when the kids don’t enjoy things the way I think they are SUPPOSED to be enjoyed. (Probably because I’m a control freak …) It’s not the money, because the Queen Mary isn’t that expensive and the kids are free. And it’s not an age thing either – I wasn’t expecting them to sit through lectures on the history of the ship or anything.

But it’s SO HARD for me to just let them be and not steer them towards the next thing to look at, or what I think we should be looking at. I’ve always been a rubric person. I like to plan out how I think things should be and stick to that plan. Actually when my plans fall through I am mildly devastated even if it’s not something I really wanted to do in the first place; it’s because that’s what I expected to do. But I did let the girls hang out around the phone booth for as long as they wanted, even though it made my eye twitch a little while I was itching to move on to the next thing .

Kids have a way of holding up a mirror and you see things about yourself you never noticed before, or maybe noticed but didn’t think it was weird or a problem. But I guess going with the flow, especially when it comes to the kids, is something I need to work on.

Daily Life

Getting My Strength Back

Posted on January 10, 2018

Ideal caption: “Jason was just so captivated by my beauty he took this photo for his desk at work so he could admire me all the time.” But… I like to keep it real on social media and it really went something more like “Can you take a pic of me in my bathing suit? Over here. No, over here where the light is better. Too bad we don’t have a fan to make my hair blow around…?.”

Seriously though, I have been a hiker and a jogger for a long time now because I love to connect with nature and I love the way cardio makes me feel (Hooray for good mental health!) In September I started doing weights for the first time to improve my core strength after having Isabelle via c section (because all of a sudden chopping veggies was an ab exercise )

        It was incredibly hard at first. I went from being in the best shape of my life during my pregnancy to being unable to lift Katie for 6 weeks. Now I am proud to say I can carry both girls up 2 flights of stairs to our apartment and can almost squat my body weight. It’s amazing how durable women’s bodies are. We can grow humans, birth them, and then sustain them using our bodies after they are born.

         We are so strong and so amazing. And, while I know there are more important things (and I make sure to stress to the girls that strength and wellness are the real reasons to work out), I am damn proud of how my body looks after having a baby carved out of my body only 8 months ago. It really is the icing on the cake. So here is my shameless bikini photo ?. #iamwomanhearmeroar 

Daily Life

Belles tries “Grandma Sauce!”

Posted on January 2, 2018

We had my grandparents over for dinner last night and my mom made Grandma’s special spaghetti sauce. Smelling it cook all day reminded me of the memories I have of going to my grandparents’ when I was a kid. We would pick raspberries from the raspberry bush in the backyard and help my grandma make cookies.

The raspberry bushes have since been dug out and my grandma is no longer able to live at home. It makes me sad that my kids will never experience my grandparents’ house the way I did, but I am grateful that they have 2 sets of their own grandparents to make memories with (along with 3 great grandparents and one great great grandma!) And, I am grateful we have traditions like making “Grandma sauce” that we can pass down to them . One of these days I’ll attempt to make a batch all on my own!

Opinion Pieces

7 Must Haves for Flying With Kids (And none of them is a tablet!)

Posted on November 11, 2017

There is no way around it, flying with kids sucks. SUCKS. 

Yes, I love my kids.  They are wonderful humans and are a blast to be around.  On the ground.  Put us in a tiny aircraft and strap us in and all of a sudden I’m wondering if the flight attendant will let me change seats.  My kids are 6 months old and a 2.5 years old.  I have taken them alone on 2 flights so far this year and will be taking 4 more in the next 3 months. 

I’m going to keep this short and sweet: here is my must-have list of things to bring to make it suck (a little) less.

1) A couple plastic bags for trash.  The flight attendants only come by once every hour or so.  Holding onto your kid’s sticky candy wrapper or half drank milk carton (that is guaranteed to spill) for an hour is the worst.  Bring your own trash bags and give them to the flight attendants once they fill up.  You will be shocked at the amount of trash your kids can generate in such a short span of time.

2) A non-spill water cup.  For younger babies (that are old enough to drink water), think something like this. Because even sippy cups can spill (trust me.) For toddlers, any water bottle with a folding straw is fine.

3) A non-spill snack cup.  You can buy a 2 pack on amazon for $6.  Best investment ever.

4) Presents!  This was an idea my mother-in-law gave me.  Go to the dollar store and buy a bunch of little presents and wrap them individually in wrapping paper.  Give one to your kid every half hour or so.  No, they will not all be winners but unwrapping takes a couple minutes and they will be in a better mood because of the excitement over getting presents.  *Keep an eye out for my upcoming post on what some of the winners were from my last trip.*

5) Paper towels/napkins/wipes.  The flight attendants give you 1 tiny napkin with each drink.  You WILL need more (even if you have 3 drinks – not that I would know…)  And don’t forget to keep your paper products somewhere they are easily accessible in case of an emergency (think below the seat in front of you versus stowed overhead.)

6) Spare clothes.  Even with spill proof snack containers, spill proof cups, and napkins, someone will get messy.

7) A lot of luck. You’ll need it.

Opinion Pieces

What Do You Do When Your Kid Won’t Listen to You?

Posted on November 3, 2017

No, seriously.  I’m asking.  I hope you didn’t come here for the answer because I don’t have it (although hoping someone comments with a magic solution…). Sure, I know what to do IN THE MOMENT.  If my kid strays too far from me at a store and doesn’t return when I call her, obviously I know the solution is to go and get her.  But what do I do so it doesn’t happen next time? (And the time after that.  And after that.)

My first born is a firecracker, a free-thinker, independent, spirited, fearless…

My first born is a firecracker, a free-thinker, independent, spirited, fearless… and I LOVE her for that.  And I don’t want to change that about her.  She will do incredible things someday.  But we need to come to some sort of understanding about rules.  Because she doesn’t listen to a damn thing I say.

I don’t fight her if she wants to wear her rain boots to the beach or take her shirt off at the park.

I try my best to pick my battles, I really do.  I don’t fight her if she wants to wear her rain boots to the beach or take her shirt off at the park.  I’m not going to lose my shit if she eats a goldfish off the ground, especially if she was the one who dropped it (though I will discourage her from doing it again.)  For us, the big battles are safety related – hers and her sister’s.  This means no jumping on the couch, standing on the swivel chair, climbing the tv stand (are you noticing a pattern here?), and returning when she gets too far away from me and I call her.  (Ideally not getting that far from me to begin with…)

So far, we have stuck with logical consequences despite them not really working.  For example, if you jump on the couch you have to sit on the floor. This usually results in her sitting on the floor, which she doesn’t mind, and doesn’t deter her from jumping on the couch next time.  Same with me taking the toys she throws.  Sometimes she will throw something and then hand it to me and say “Mommy take.” 

Sometimes she will throw something and then hand it to me and say “Mommy take.”

We have also tried time out, which doesn’t seem to help.  In fact, sometimes she will throw something and put herself on time out for a minute and then return.  We tried swapping time outs for time ins for a while, which actually led to an increase in bad behaviors so she could get Mommy alone for a few minutes.  (I would like to add that I do take time every day to spend alone with her and try to do one or two outings a week just the two of us, but with a 6 month old, there’s only so much alone time I can give her.) Despite the controversy, we still do the occasional time out, more for my sanity than anything (I know. Shame.)

I have read books and blogs and watched Nanny 911 videos on youtube.

I have read books and blogs and watched Nanny 911 videos on youtube.  I make eye contact, speak to her like an adult, and avoid going places when she’s tired (we practically avoid stores like the plague anyways because it’s just too hard.) I wish I could say I never raise my voice, but that’s a lie.  I wish I didn’t, but when danger is imminent, or I am just overly frustrated because I’ve said the same thing 700 times, I sometimes raise my voice.  And honestly, it gets results half the time, which is more than I can say about anything else I’ve tried.  But I want results without raising my voice.

I’m not unreasonable.  I know toddlers don’t always listen.  I would even settle for her listening 50% of the time.  I feel like that’s fair?

I would even settle for her listening 50% of the time.  I feel like that’s fair?

The problem I am having is that I don’t want her to blindly follow the rules and I don’t want to break her spirit.  I love that she is independent and tenacious, but I also want her to be safe.  The other day she ran ahead of me in a store and went down an aisle with water and broken glass on the ground (seriously though, wtf.) I got to her quickly and was able to remove her, but her independence scares me.

So, from one desperate mom to another, I would love advice.  I know there isn’t a magic solution, but does anyone else have a strong little firecracker they have found a way to communicate with?  Looking forward to what everyone has to say.

Daily Life

Joining in with Dance Class

Posted on November 2, 2017

Confession time: watching K finally participate in dance these past couple weeks gives me tears almost the whole class. I have to stifle them so I’m not that weird mom in the back who cries every week. Maybe it’s because she looks so happy now that she finally joined in, maybe it’s because my guilt over bringing her every week is alleviated now that I know she wants to be there.

I still partly felt like a mom forcing their kid to do an activity she didn’t want to do

She always said how much fun she had even when she wasn’t participating, and before every class I made sure to ask if she wanted to be there and she always said yes, but I still partly felt like a mom forcing their kid to do an activity she didn’t want to do as I watched her slide around on the floor week after week, and refuse to participated in every activity but the parachute.

She’s becoming such a little lady right before my eyes.

And then watching her enjoy herself today wearing her new dance outfit, I just realized how grown up she looked. She’s becoming such a little lady right before my eyes. I noticed her listening to her teacher’s instruction and looking for acceptance from her peers, and I had an epiphany that so many other people will influence her life besides me. And at some point, other people will likely begin to influence her more than I will. It was rather jarring to think about, though I know it’s inevitable. It made me think about how I can’t protect her from everything, and I hate that, (tearing up even as I write this ?. Having kids breaks open your soul and makes all the feelings come out!)

At some point, other people will likely begin to influence her more than I will.

But for now I am grateful I can still hold her tight and give her raspberries on her belly, and she can still be my little girl for a while longer 

Daily Life

Second Opinion for Isabelle’s Hips

Posted on November 1, 2017

Second opinion for Isabelle’s hips… I do feel some relief having seen another doctor, but also didn’t really get the news I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear that her xrays actually looked great and that we were done. But apparently at this point, all we can do is wait.

All we can do is wait.

Her xrays were, in fact, *mostly* good. Like 80% good. But there was a tiny bit of cause for concern. The dr said the last bit will likely correct itself, which is what we are hoping for. He said he couldn’t give exact numbers, but said that he would estimate 9/10 babies that he has seen that have had success with the Pavlik Harness go on to have healthy hips with no further intervention.

If we do need further intervention at around a year, it would be a body cast.

But if we do need further intervention at around a year, it would be a body cast. I know there is no sense worrying about it at this point because there is nothing we can do, but the thought of her in a body cast, especially at 12 months once she is walking and really exploring her world, breaks my heart. In the meantime, she is free to stand and crawl and do whatever and hopefully her hips will continue to develop normally. Please send positive vibes our way today. I’m having kind of a hard time. ?

Daily Life

We have Ants in the Freezer

Posted on October 30, 2017

Me: “Katie’s a monkey!!” Katie: “Katie not a monkey! Katie’s a girl!” She’s not wrong ?. By a happy accident we got to swim class a half hour early so K got to play on her favorite fish ? shaped bike rack. It was nice to have idle time before the craziness of the day started. The heat wave from last week brought some unwanted visitors into our apartment ???…

A few days prior I said to Jason “We never got any ants this year!”

I think I may have jinxed us because a few days prior I said to Jason “We never got any ants this year! Usually we get them for a week when it’s hot and now it’s almost November and we haven’t gotten any!” Well… here we are! In the past we have just put out the bait traps (which makes a thousand of them come because they smell it so it gets so much worse before it gets better) but now with K getting into everything, there are few places we can put them. We opted for one behind the fridge and one on top of it.

Other areas of my life may be a little… disorganized, but the kitchen is MY place.

Oh and did I mention this time they are going INTO the fridge?! Yes, into the fridge. And freezer. And there is nothing opened or spilled in either! Other areas of my life may be a little… disorganized, but the kitchen is MY place. I don’t leave spills, I throw out expired food, I have no idea what these stupid ants are even after ?. And they are dying shortly after entering so that means I have to keep cleaning out dead ants every day which is disgusting.

So it pretty much feels like the plague hit in here which is a really shitty feeling to have about your home. I did have 2 other moms today tell me they are battling ants ?too which made me feel a little better. Like at least I know we aren’t all gross, right? (Although they were strangers so who knows how they live their lives… because when you stay home with your kids and you go out into the world, you talk to EVERYBODY.) So, back to my battle plan… today we went to Dollar Tree for a spray bottle and and I made a mix of vodka, peppermint oil, clove oil, and cinnamon oil and just sprayed it all around the fridge and freezer. The vodka kills them and the oils are supposed to keep them away. I suppose if nothing else they make it smell amazing in here… Fingers crossed we will be bug free soon ?