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honest motherhood

Daily Life

Our Family is Moving into a Two Bedroom!

Leaving our babymoon to sign apartment paperwork

So, we’re moving.

In just a few days.  It kind of came as a surprise, as far as moving goes.  Our landlord let us know about 2 weeks ago that there was an opening in our complex for a larger unit, with 2 bedrooms.  We had been talking about moving on and off for years, and it was never really the right time.

Fitting 1 baby in the apartment.

Life with 1 baby in the big one-bedroom.

We had been talking about moving on and off for years, and it was never really the right time. 

We moved into this apartment from a smaller one bedroom when I was 9 months pregnant with Katie.  Why move from a one bedroom to another one bedroom?  Because our last one bedroom was so tiny, there’s no way we could have possibly been able to fit a crib or any of the other things a baby needs!  The featured image is of Jason and I on the last day of our babymoon, and we left from there to sign the paperwork for the apartment we’re currently in.

We moved into this apartment from a smaller one bedroom when I was 9 months pregnant with Katie.

SoCal living is much different from Michigan where I grew up.

In college when I looked at apartments, I remember thinking about what amenities I wanted – a dishwasher, parking, close to campus, etc.  Then I moved to Long Beach.  Now I’m realizing you pick your price range…. and that’s about all you can pick.  You see what’s available in your price range, and you can take it or leave it.

You pick your price range…. and that’s about all you can pick.

If you are casually browsing, you can just look every few days and see what’s out there that matches your needs.  If you have a deadline, like you’re having a baby or changed jobs and need to move, expect apartment searching to be pretty much another part-time job.  And if find something but can’t look at it until later that day, there’s a good chance it will be gone by then.  It’s happened to us!

Expect apartment searching to be pretty much another part-time job.

Trying to eat while K slept on me when she had colic

Trying to eat while K slept on me when she had colic

So, when I was about 8 and a half months pregnant with K, we found our large one bedroom.  We had actually been searching for 2 bedrooms at the time, but we didn’t really find anything that we loved that was in our price range.  (This meant lots and lots of tears from a hormonal soon-to-be mama…)  We decided to take the large one bedroom because I was about to burst.  I had Katie 3 weeks later, and we agreed to start looking at 2 bedrooms in another year.

When K was 13 months, I got pregnant again.

It seemed difficult to move during another pregnancy, so we held off our search.  We ended up losing that baby, but I got pregnant for a third time 4 weeks after the loss.  Again, we put off our search.

It seemed difficult to move during another pregnancy

And now, here we are. Isabelle is 18 months, but I’ve been so busy with work and the kids that searching for an apartment as well seemed like an impossible feat.  Our landlord knocked on our door the other day and let us know the unit right next to us opened up!  We literally only have to move about 4 feet over!

The opportunity fell into our laps, and we had to jump on it.

All this clutter and 2 babies in our little apartment

All this clutter and 2 babies in our little apartment

As a family, we’ve had a lot of emotions surrounding the move, even though it’s literally next door.  Jason and I really excited.  More space will mean a better quality of life for everyone.  We won’t be so on top of each other, the kids will have more to play, more storage space will mean less clutter, and less clutter makes it easier to relax.

More space will mean a better quality of life for everyone.

We’re also excited to have our own room!  I never realized how much having your own space means to a relationship.  Even the little things like watching a show together in bed help with bonding.  Since having the girls, our bedroom was literally just a place for us to sleep.  It didn’t feel like “our” space.  And having 2 little kids is stressful, so anything that makes you feel more unified as a couple is important!

It didn’t feel like “our” space. 

K is a little confused.

Despite me telling her over and over that ALL our belongings are moving with us, she keeps asking about specific items.  “But what about my backpack?”  “Yes, it’s coming.  EVERYTHING is coming.”  “But what about my bed?” …  She also asked briefly if she should leave some of her toys for the next people who live here, before quickly having a change of heart and saying “Those are MY toys!”  Her giving spirit was cute, and brief.

K is also not sure about having a room with only Isabelle, and not Mommy and Daddy too.

Jason and the girls - soon to be partners in crime!

Jason and the girls – soon to be partners in crime!

K is also not sure about having a room with only Isabelle, and not Mommy and Daddy too.  I know after she adjusts, she’s going to love it.  Maybe too much… already imagining the mischief the 2 of them will be getting in together!  But she’s also never had in a room away from us before.  It will be new and different, at first.  Just like the transition to a toddler bed, I can see a layer of excitement in her, and another of unease.  And for me, feelings of pride mixed with a little sadness about how she’s growing up so fast!

I am also feeling a little bittersweet about leaving.

OF COURSE I am beyond excited for more space and our own bedroom, but there’s also that feeling about a chapter closing that’s leaving me emotional.  (I know half of you can relate and half of you are rolling your eyes because it’s RIGHT NEXT DOOR.) .

I was scared about labor, life as a mom, breastfeeding, all of it… 

Katie diagnosed with colic at 7 weeks

Katie diagnosed with colic at 7 weeks

But when we moved into this apartment, I was 9 months pregnant.  I was scared about labor, life as a mom, breastfeeding, all of it…  K was born and a few weeks later, she was diagnosed with colic, so I had some really dark times in the beginning.  In THIS apartment.  These were followed by some of the most wonderful times as I watched her grow from a colicky newborn into a smiley 6 month old and then a walking, talking little person (or threenager….) . In THIS apartment.  During that time I also made a career switch into marketing, and I lost a baby which led to more really dark times for me.   All in this apartment…

During that time I also made a career switch into marketing, and I lost a baby.

I got pregnant with Isabelle here, and tried to balance being so effing exhausted and crabby and just wanting to sleep with wanting to make sure I enjoyed the last of my time with K as an only child.  My pregnancy with Isabelle was difficult.  I remember a lot of tears, ER trips, bleeding, and early labor.  She was born healthy via c section.  Several months later, I made another big career decision and decided to work for myself.  While living in THIS apartment.

And now here we are almost 4 years later.

39 weeks - the day before I had Isabelle

39 weeks – the day before I had Isabelle

We went from a family of 2 to a family of 4.  From spending the weekend at the bars to spending it at the aquarium.  I was waitressing when we moved in and undecided in what I wanted to do with my life (my degree is in neuroscience and I realized I didn’t want to work in a lab forever…) Now, I’m freelancing in marketing and I never thought I would enjoy work so much.  Jason and I have grown into a completely different couple than we were when we moved in, in a good way.  We’ve been tested in more ways than I ever thought possible when I was childless.  And we made it.

So, what I leave behind (aka next door, I know), is some of the best and worst pieces of the most influential chapter of my life.

So, what I leave behind (aka next door, I know…), is some of the best and worst pieces of the most influential chapter of my life.  It feels strange, and exciting.  I’m simultaneously feeling nostalgia and practically vibrating out of my seat with excitement for what the future will hold for us.  My next post will probably be written in the comfort of my own bedroom, and I can’t wait to begin this new chapter of our lives.

 

 

Daily Life

Summiting Mount Hollywood

The face you make when you just summited your first mountain! Well, “mountain” … Every country has a different definition of what is considered a mountain, but Mount Hollywood is 1625 feet, is called MOUNT Hollywood, and has a vertical gain of 560 feet from where we started, I’m saying we can call it a mountain! (The internet agrees and if it’s on the internet, it has to be true right?)

Either way, I’m so incredibly proud of this little lady today. The fact that you walk a slope the whole way up and then back down after you summit was both good and bad for us. Good because once you get to the top it’s all downhill after, and also because if K said she wanted to stop it would be easy to turn around and go back (as if this kid would ever ask to stop ?.) The bad is that the way up is tough. It’s not incredibly steep, but it’s a continuous slope so it’s relentless, and K has little legs. It also means you have to really watch your step going down.

The view is 100% worth it though. I tried to leave several times and K kept crying and saying “I want to stay here forever.” I can relate! There’s something so special about reaching a summit and hanging out up there, taking in the view and appreciating the hard work it took to get there. You see things from a vantage point most of the world will never see.

I don’t know that K quite understands all of that yet, but she sure enjoyed the hike today (even though she was slightly disappointed there was no waterfall – apparently we need to talk about gravity soon.) Overall it was an incredible hike! My only regret is it was 80 degrees today and I let the kids have all the water! #momlife amirite?

Daily Life

Honest Motherhood

#honestmotherhood … (well, except the words on the flash cards ?. Jason snapped this pic when I was only kind-of sort-of ready. As much as I want to pretend my tiny genius can read, we are doing the other side of the cards – letters and numbers, not words.) So I’m bouncing one in the carrier and doing flash cards with the other while I try to enjoy a post-hike beer. And I can’t help but think of when I was pregnant with K and Jason and I would say how after she was born we were going to get sitters ALL THE TIME and still go clubbing and go to bars ?.

It’s funny because I still hear first-time moms say this when they’re pregnant (and I don’t want to be that person to correct them because I think everyone needs to come to terms with their new roles as parents on their own.) But the truth is, it’s not that you CAN’T go clubbing when you’re a mom as long as you have a sitter; it’s that MOST of the time, you don’t really want that anymore.

While we do still like to go out for a drink sometimes, we prefer early happy hours where we can also grab dinner or appetizers for the kids (or brunch. Omg whoever invented brunch, I love you.) Not to mention we pretty much have to take up the entire table with 50 toys to occupy the kids long enough to each have one beer. Oh and don’t forget passing the baby back and forth ?. Because whoever is holding the baby pretty much cannot sip their beer. But at the same time, I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. Sprawling out across a high-top table with markers, crayons, flashcards, French fries, and a couple of brewery beers with my amazing family ranks amongst one of the best Saturday nights of all time ?

Daily Life

Isabelle Hip Dysplasia Updates

7 months after our first visit to the orthopaedic doctor, we finally got the (mostly) good news we had been waiting for. Isabelle had another xray this morning and it looks like her hips are close enough to normal that she won’t need any further treatment. They were looking for an angle of 25 degrees, 30 requires more treatment, and her right is at 27 degrees.

She still has mild hip dysplasia, and probably will her whole life, but her hips are both in the sockets so she is not eligible for a cast or brace. The only way to correct the angles would be an extensive surgery followed by a long recovery, and her doctor doesn’t think mild hip dysplasia would cause enough problems to warrant that.

       She will still be able to run and play sports and go about her life normally. The possible long-term implications of mild hip dysplasia might be arthritis in that hip when she is 50 or 60, and IF that happens, they can correct it with surgery then. It did not make sense to do a surgery now on the possibility of “IF”. So, while it wasn’t perfect news, we are happy that her hips are in the sockets and she will live a normal life. We will go back in 4 months for another xray just to check that things are continuing to improve (or not get worse, which is unlikely.) Thanks everyone for all the positive vibes and support during all of this ?

Daily Life

Getting My Strength Back

Ideal caption: “Jason was just so captivated by my beauty he took this photo for his desk at work so he could admire me all the time.” But… I like to keep it real on social media and it really went something more like “Can you take a pic of me in my bathing suit? Over here. No, over here where the light is better. Too bad we don’t have a fan to make my hair blow around…?.”

Seriously though, I have been a hiker and a jogger for a long time now because I love to connect with nature and I love the way cardio makes me feel (Hooray for good mental health!) In September I started doing weights for the first time to improve my core strength after having Isabelle via c section (because all of a sudden chopping veggies was an ab exercise )

        It was incredibly hard at first. I went from being in the best shape of my life during my pregnancy to being unable to lift Katie for 6 weeks. Now I am proud to say I can carry both girls up 2 flights of stairs to our apartment and can almost squat my body weight. It’s amazing how durable women’s bodies are. We can grow humans, birth them, and then sustain them using our bodies after they are born.

         We are so strong and so amazing. And, while I know there are more important things (and I make sure to stress to the girls that strength and wellness are the real reasons to work out), I am damn proud of how my body looks after having a baby carved out of my body only 8 months ago. It really is the icing on the cake. So here is my shameless bikini photo ?#iamwomanhearmeroar 

Daily Life

Happy 8 Months Isabelle!!

It’s not every day you turn 8 months in Hawaii !! This month has been full of changes for Isabelle. She recently started cruising  and is chatting up a storm (which means this time next year, we are going to have a very noisy house between her and her sister… okay, and maybe Mom too .)
        Her mode of floor transportation has evolved from a weird combination of short crawls/rolls/scoots/lunges to a still-weird crawl/bear crawl. It may not be pretty, but it works. We were starting to think she would skip crawling altogether so this was a pleasant surprise. She is happy almost all the time (as long as we aren’t late for meals – sometimes I could swear this kid has a tapeworm the way she eats) and we are really beginning to see her personality develop! We are excited to see what the next month brings

 

Daily Life

Meal Times with Kids

How every meal time inevitably ends up: 2 kids on my lap, food that fell out of mouths all over me, scrambling to get both girls fed at the same time, and then when it’s all over I get a couple bites of cold mac and cheese and half a chicken tender (if I’m lucky!)

Meal times these days reminds me of fight scenes in old cartoons where limbs and dust clouds are flying all over the place and there’s crying and animal noises and then it’s over as soon as it started and the dust settles and life goes back to normal. But when you’re in the middle of it…. oh man. Dinners are easier because Jason is around to help but feeding the two of them at the same time, especially with the amount Isabelle eats, it’s no easy task.

Daily Life

Desperately Trying to Find My Zen

SERIOUS POST ALERT: How do you find balance between remaining informed and letting current events and politics stress you out? I usually don’t post about current events, but I’m having a hard time finding balance lately, especially since the fires have started. I want to remain vigilant and stay aware of where the fires are so we can stay safe, and I also want to be in the know so I can feel for the people affected, as I believe empathy keeps us human, but I can’t spend all my time watching California burn.
           It’s taking such a toll on me. And it’s not just the fires, it’s the political climate lately too. I want to be aware of legislation that will affect our family and people we care about, and I want to know about upcoming bills to be passed so I have the opportunity to contact our legislators, but it’s hard to take on so much worry all the time. Part of me wants to bury my head in the sand. Ignorance is bliss, right? But that isn’t the answer either.
          I think this is all made worse by the fact that I have anxiety and am still sort of in the post-partum period but this week has been especially rough for me. I have unfollowed a lot of pages on facebook that were posting fear-mongering type articles (especially the parenting ones, which shall remain nameless….), and I am avoiding all news for the last hour before bed. I also work out, eat well 75% of the time, and *try* to get enough sleep, aside from baby wake ups. I am interested in tips other moms have. How do you find this balance?