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Unlocking a Deeper Connection with Your Spirited Child: The Power of Parent Coaching

Kids at Candified in Long Beach California @parentdaze instagram @explorelongbeach

Do you often hear comments like, “I wouldn’t let my kid do that” or “That child needs a leash” directed at your child? If so, you might have what my parent coach fondly refers to as a “Spicy One.”

“That child needs a leash”

So, what exactly is a “Spicy One”? These spirited children may or may not be neurodivergent, but they share some common characteristics. They tend to be more exuberant than their peers, they experience intense emotions and sometimes react explosively, and they exhibit a strong desire for independence, often insisting on doing things their own way. Conventional consequences rarely deter them, leaving parents perplexed about how to effectively communicate with and guide these spirited souls.

Conventional consequences rarely deter them

In a world where parenting can sometimes feel like uncharted territory, seeking help and support is not a sign of weakness but rather a demonstration of your commitment to nurturing a harmonious family dynamic. Just as you’d consult a mechanic when your car needs fixing, seeking guidance from a parent coach can provide invaluable expertise in navigating the complexities of parenting.

Just as you’d consult a mechanic when your car needs fixing, seeking guidance from a parent coach can provide invaluable expertise in navigating the complexities of parenting.

So, why do we hesitate when it comes to seeking help for parenting challenges, especially if we have a spirited child? Parenting is a learning journey, and expecting to master it from the get-go is unrealistic. That’s where parent coaching steps in to offer valuable insights, strategies, and emotional support to help you build a stronger connection with your children.

Finding the Right Solution

Perhaps you’re concerned about the cost of one-on-one coaching sessions. What if there were a way to share the coaching experience and costs with like-minded parents while also benefiting from their support? Well, there is!

What if there were a way to share the coaching experience and costs with like-minded parents while also benefiting from their support?

Introducing “Moms of Spicy Ones!” This transformative group, led by Parent Coach Mary Van Geffen, has been a game-changer for parents dealing with spirited children. In this supportive community, I’ve learned essential skills like self-regulation, recognizing and avoiding triggers, and letting go of self-blame during inevitable meltdowns.

Tailored Guidance for Unique Families

Every child is one of a kind, and what works for one may not work for another. Parent coaching provides personalized guidance based on your family’s unique needs and circumstances. Mary works closely with our group to understand our parenting styles, our children’s personalities, and the specific challenges we face. This tailored approach empowers us to develop strategies that resonate with our families, forging a deeper and more meaningful connection with our children.

Every child is one of a kind, and what works for one may not work for another

Key Takeaways from the Group

Here are some of my most significant takeaways from the “Moms of Spicy Ones” (or MOSO) group:

  1. Better Communication: Effective communication is fundamental in any relationship, including the parent-child dynamic. MOSO teaches us how to communicate with our children in ways that foster understanding and trust. It offers strategies for active listening, conflict resolution, and age-appropriate conversations, enabling us to build open and honest lines of communication with our kids.
  2. Stress Reduction: Parenting can be overwhelming, and high stress levels can strain our relationships with our children. MOSO helps us manage stress and develop coping mechanisms. It teaches techniques for self-care and stress reduction, allowing us to be more present and patient with our children. Reduced stress levels create a calmer and more positive home environment, benefiting both parents and kids.
  3. Understanding Child Development: Mary has a deep understanding of child development and psychology. She educates parents about developmental milestones and age-appropriate expectations, enabling us to set realistic goals for our children and adjust our parenting strategies accordingly. Understanding our child’s needs at various stages of development strengthens the parent-child connection and reduces frustration for everyone involved.
  4. Increased Confidence: Many parents grapple with self-doubt and uncertainty about their parenting abilities. Parent coaching boosts parental confidence as we learn and implement effective parenting techniques. This newfound confidence has a ripple effect on our relationship with our children, as they pick up on our positive energy and conviction.

Conclusion

Joining the “Moms of Spicy Ones” group has been a transformational experience for both myself and my children. The benefits of improved communication, reduced stress, enhanced parenting skills, increased confidence, and a deeper understanding of child development have enriched our connection.

If you’re eager to strengthen your bond with your children and navigate the challenges of parenting more effectively, consider seeking the support and guidance of the “Moms of Spicy Ones.” This investment in your family’s well-being is bound to yield lasting, positive results. Don’t let hesitations hold you back; embrace the opportunity to create a harmonious and loving home for your spirited child.

ExploreLongBeach Lifestyle

Take a Vacation Alone For Your Mental Health

Tiny Tiki Retro Hideaway @parentdaze solo vacation mountains

“I really wish I could run away for a week.”

Life is hard when you’re a mom. It’s demanding, it’s hard to juggle everything, and most of the time it’s thankless.  Throw in the stress of a pandemic, lack of childcare (or sporadic childcare), and some homeschooling, and it’s been a really tough year for moms.

Life is hard when you’re a mom.

I felt like I was constantly cranky and there just weren’t enough hours in a day to get everything done.  I was neglecting myself a lot of the time, even though I know I shouldn’t, but it’s hard when you have work deadlines looming and children who need things and the house is a mess.

I was constantly cranky and there just weren’t enough hours in a day to get everything done. 

I kept saying I wished I could just run away for a week and decompress.  Jason surprised me by saying “then why don’t you?”  I asked him how that would work.  Who would watch the kids?  Who would drive them to school?  Who would make their meals and pick up after them and everything else?  He said he was capable of handling it all, so I booked a 3 night vacation at a local glamping spot that was just 90 minutes from our home in Long Beach: The Tiny Tiki Retro Hideaway.

Tiny Tiki Retro Hideaway Table @parentdaze solo vacation

I really needed a vacation alone to focus on my mental health

I was excited as soon as I booked it.  It was remote, the trailers looked beautiful, and there was an amazing outdoor space, complete with an outdoor bed.  All of the decor was carefully curated to match the vibe, and much of it was vintage.  

I set my email to “out of office” for the first time in my life

When the day arrived, I set my email to “out of office” for the first time in my life.  Freelancing makes it hard to set boundaries.  I already work irregular hours so I can spend time with the kids during the day, and I get a lot of after hours emails.  I wanted this vacation to be about me so I could focus on my mental health and take the opportunity to recharge.

This was the first vacation I’ve ever taken without the kids

This was the first vacation I’ve ever taken without the kids, it’s the first vacation I’ve ever taken alone, and it’s the first time I’ve even been away from the kids for 3 nights in a row.  I was long overdue for this. My mental health needed it.

Tiny Tiki Retro Hideaway Trailer @parentdaze solo vacation glamping

The desert setting was beautiful, and I was excited to be surrounded by nature

When I arrived, the Tiki Trailer was exactly like the pictures.  The desert setting was beautiful, and I was excited to be surrounded by nature.  The host, Julia, was beyond hospitable.  She walked me around inside the trailers and showed me how to use everything (shower, door locks, etc.) She was wonderful about making me feel welcome but let me know she would respect my space if I preferred.  She offered to take me on a hike the following day, and I accepted.  We took hikes together 3 days in a row, and she was great company and easy to talk to.  She let me know that some people prefer privacy the whole time, and she respects whatever her guests’ wishes are.

It was my first time sleeping outside and I loved being able to look up at the stars

The outdoor bed was my absolute favorite part of the Tiny Tiki Retro Hideaway.  It was my first time sleeping outside, and I slept in it every night I was there.  I loved being able to look up at the stars, and at night I could hear the sounds of nature – crickets, coyotes, owls.  The trailer is stocked with a ton of extra blankets so even though the nights got chilly, I was cozy in bed. In the morning, I watched the sunrise from the bed with a cup of coffee.  

Every day when I woke up, I meditated for at least an hour

While enjoying my solo vacation, not only did I not open my computer, I made a point to not spend a lot of time on my phone.  I wanted this experience to be about recharging and not squandering my time mindlessly scrolling through social media.  A lot of people ask if I got bored, but I didn’t feel that way for a single second. Taking a vacation alone for my mental health is definitely something I’m going to do again.

Tiny Tiki Retro Hideaway Trailer Glamping @parentdaze solo vacation

In the afternoons, I sat out on the patio and snacked on charcuterie plates

Every day when I woke up, I meditated for at least an hour, and then I stretched.  I went on hikes with Julia and her lovable dogs.  In the afternoons, I sat out on the patio and snacked on charcuterie plates I had put together.  The Tiki Trailer has a fridge, a freezer, a microwave, a stove, and a coffee maker.  Most of the food I brought was snack type foods, but Julia keeps the trailer stocked with a lot of staples too – things like pasta, pancake mix, spices.  She even put a bottle of wine and some Pellegrino in the fridge for my arrival.

I can’t wait to return to the Tiki Trailer

In the evening, I sat out on the lounge chairs and read and enjoyed the view.  When the sun started to go down, I’d grab a blanket and watch the sunset.  And then at night I got snuggled up in my bed again.  My trip seemed to fly by and I already can’t wait to return.  I would highly recommend visiting the Tiki Trailer.  It’s a great place for a solo vacation, for couples, or even for small groups.