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Unlocking a Deeper Connection with Your Spirited Child: The Power of Parent Coaching

Kids at Candified in Long Beach California @parentdaze instagram @explorelongbeach

Do you often hear comments like, “I wouldn’t let my kid do that” or “That child needs a leash” directed at your child? If so, you might have what my parent coach fondly refers to as a “Spicy One.”

“That child needs a leash”

So, what exactly is a “Spicy One”? These spirited children may or may not be neurodivergent, but they share some common characteristics. They tend to be more exuberant than their peers, they experience intense emotions and sometimes react explosively, and they exhibit a strong desire for independence, often insisting on doing things their own way. Conventional consequences rarely deter them, leaving parents perplexed about how to effectively communicate with and guide these spirited souls.

Conventional consequences rarely deter them

In a world where parenting can sometimes feel like uncharted territory, seeking help and support is not a sign of weakness but rather a demonstration of your commitment to nurturing a harmonious family dynamic. Just as you’d consult a mechanic when your car needs fixing, seeking guidance from a parent coach can provide invaluable expertise in navigating the complexities of parenting.

Just as you’d consult a mechanic when your car needs fixing, seeking guidance from a parent coach can provide invaluable expertise in navigating the complexities of parenting.

So, why do we hesitate when it comes to seeking help for parenting challenges, especially if we have a spirited child? Parenting is a learning journey, and expecting to master it from the get-go is unrealistic. That’s where parent coaching steps in to offer valuable insights, strategies, and emotional support to help you build a stronger connection with your children.

Finding the Right Solution

Perhaps you’re concerned about the cost of one-on-one coaching sessions. What if there were a way to share the coaching experience and costs with like-minded parents while also benefiting from their support? Well, there is!

What if there were a way to share the coaching experience and costs with like-minded parents while also benefiting from their support?

Introducing “Moms of Spicy Ones!” This transformative group, led by Parent Coach Mary Van Geffen, has been a game-changer for parents dealing with spirited children. In this supportive community, I’ve learned essential skills like self-regulation, recognizing and avoiding triggers, and letting go of self-blame during inevitable meltdowns.

Tailored Guidance for Unique Families

Every child is one of a kind, and what works for one may not work for another. Parent coaching provides personalized guidance based on your family’s unique needs and circumstances. Mary works closely with our group to understand our parenting styles, our children’s personalities, and the specific challenges we face. This tailored approach empowers us to develop strategies that resonate with our families, forging a deeper and more meaningful connection with our children.

Every child is one of a kind, and what works for one may not work for another

Key Takeaways from the Group

Here are some of my most significant takeaways from the “Moms of Spicy Ones” (or MOSO) group:

  1. Better Communication: Effective communication is fundamental in any relationship, including the parent-child dynamic. MOSO teaches us how to communicate with our children in ways that foster understanding and trust. It offers strategies for active listening, conflict resolution, and age-appropriate conversations, enabling us to build open and honest lines of communication with our kids.
  2. Stress Reduction: Parenting can be overwhelming, and high stress levels can strain our relationships with our children. MOSO helps us manage stress and develop coping mechanisms. It teaches techniques for self-care and stress reduction, allowing us to be more present and patient with our children. Reduced stress levels create a calmer and more positive home environment, benefiting both parents and kids.
  3. Understanding Child Development: Mary has a deep understanding of child development and psychology. She educates parents about developmental milestones and age-appropriate expectations, enabling us to set realistic goals for our children and adjust our parenting strategies accordingly. Understanding our child’s needs at various stages of development strengthens the parent-child connection and reduces frustration for everyone involved.
  4. Increased Confidence: Many parents grapple with self-doubt and uncertainty about their parenting abilities. Parent coaching boosts parental confidence as we learn and implement effective parenting techniques. This newfound confidence has a ripple effect on our relationship with our children, as they pick up on our positive energy and conviction.

Conclusion

Joining the “Moms of Spicy Ones” group has been a transformational experience for both myself and my children. The benefits of improved communication, reduced stress, enhanced parenting skills, increased confidence, and a deeper understanding of child development have enriched our connection.

If you’re eager to strengthen your bond with your children and navigate the challenges of parenting more effectively, consider seeking the support and guidance of the “Moms of Spicy Ones.” This investment in your family’s well-being is bound to yield lasting, positive results. Don’t let hesitations hold you back; embrace the opportunity to create a harmonious and loving home for your spirited child.

Daily Life Marketing

IG Bootcamp: Double Your Instagram Results in Half the Time

Stephanie Gardner marketing client results instagram @parentdaze

Are you spending too much time on instagram with minimal results? Maybe you’re churning out content daily and your brand isn’t growing. Maybe you’re avoiding posting because you aren’t sure what to post. Managing your social media is a lot of work when you’re already managing your business or your brand. But the good news is, you don’t need to do it all by yourself. IG Bootcamp can help you double your instagram results in half the time.

In 2022 alone, I helped clients generate over 2 million dollars in revenue.

If you needed to bake a cake from scratch, you’d probably look up a recipe online, or call your mom, or find some other resource to walk you through the process. We’re so willing to ask for help with certain things, but with others, we waste hours and hours trying to figure it out by ourselves instead of asking an expert.

After spending over a decade working in social media marketing, I’ve learned what works and what doesn’t. I’ve built multiple accounts to tens of thousands of followers, including 2 of my personal accounts, @parentdaze and @explorelongbeach. In 2022 alone, I helped clients generate over 2 million dollars in revenue.

Convert viewers into paying clients and customers.

And now, I want to help you. If you are a current or aspiring small business owner or influencer, and you want a strategy that gives you real results, you need IG Bootcamp.  IG Bootcamp is an 8 week course that offers a step-by-step roadmap so you can:

  • Optimize your instagram page
  • Learn to create eye catching content that draws in viewers
  • Build a community of engaged followers
  • Convert viewers into paying clients and customers
  • Make more money!

This course is designed to first help you audit your instagram page and optimize your messaging. The next modules will be all about creating high-quality content that will draw in your target audience. Then we will streamline growth and engagement to get more viewers on your new content, and convert those viewers into paying clients and customers.

Each module includes worksheets, checklists, spreadsheets, and other resources to help you along the way. (Don’t worry, we’ll go over how to use them all too – I know spreadsheets can be overwhelming but I promise you won’t want to miss this one!) IG Bootcamp is designed so you will finish in 8 weeks with a custom marketing plan that will leave you with more knowledge, more free time, and more money.

Create a custom marketing plan that will leave you with more knowledge, more free time, and more money.

Best of all, we will also learn to track your analytics so whenever there is an algorithm update or you have a new product or service to launch, you’ll have the tools to refine your strategy to fit your messaging.

If this sounds like the right fit for you, join the waitlist and you’ll be eligible for early bird pricing!

Daily Life

Have you Tried Oprah’s Favorite Sheets?

Cozy Earth @parentdaze at long beach

Who knows luxury better than Oprah?

 There’s a reason she has named Cozy Earth sheets one of her favorite things.

Since the beginning of the pandemic, many of us have shifted to working from home.  With that came the wardrobe changes.  People went from wearing suits every day to sitting in zoom meetings pantsless and secretly drinking a white claw.

Now that things have somewhat returned to normal, the wardrobe shift has partially stayed.  A lot of people are still working from home, and many who have returned to work are dressing down a little from what they used to wear. It seems like we’ve all learned the value of COZY.

Cozy Earth products are made of sustainable bamboo, and they are buttery soft.

Which brings me to… Cozy Earth products!  Their products are made of sustainable bamboo, and they are buttery soft.  Their clothes would fall under the category of Athleisure; they’re lounge-y but you can wear them outside too.  My personal favorites to wear out are the joggers and tank together, or the rib knit lounge dress.  I’ve even dressed up the joggers and tank combo with a blazer and cute pair of booties so I could go out to a nicer place and look put together while staying cozy.

Their clothes are lounge-y but you can wear them outside too.

Jason has pretty much transitioned to living in only Cozy Earth clothes.  I don’t think he has worn a shirt by any other brand unless it’s a dress shirt, which is rare.  (Then he immediately comes home and changes back into his Cozy Earth shirts!) He also wears their joggers almost every day unless and has started referring to all other pants like jeans as “crunchy pants” or “hard pants.”

Jason has started referring to all other pants as “crunchy pants” or “hard pants.”

But what about when we sleep?!  When we get ready for bed, we both put on Cozy Earth jammies, and then we get into our Cozy Earth sheets, which Oprah named one of her favorite things, and for good reason!  It’s like sleeping on a fluffy cloud.

Cozy Earth @parentdaze sitting on bed

Sleeping on Cozy Earth premium bamboo sheets is like sleeping on a fluffy cloud. Made of butter.

You know when you go to a nice hotel and you get in the bed and you think how luxurious their sheets are?  Now when we go to a nice hotel and get in bed, we miss our sheets at home!  If someone told me that sheets could make this happy every single night, I would have laughed.  And now I get it.  I should have known that Oprah is the queen of luxury and she would never steer me wrong!

Oprah would never steer me wrong.

The downside of Cozy Earth products is that they’re on the pricey side.  Making sustainable products costs more, and making products that are great quality also costs more.  The upside is that not only are these products worth it because they last, I also have a coupon code for 40% off your order through the end of January, CEPARENTDAZE.  Take advantage of this promotion and let’s all be cozy together!

Daily Life

Can this Isavera Fat Freezing Belt Give You a Slimmer Waist Line?

Isavera Fat Freezing Belt Wellness Health Weight Loss @parentdaze

I have always stored fat in my midsection.

Even when I’m working out regularly and eating well, I still have a spare tire around my waist that I can’t seem to get rid of.  There are a lot of factors that contribute to belly fat, independent of diet and exercise.

Women in particular tend to store fat in our midsections, and we can blame evolution for this. Our bodies still think we need to keep our ovaries warm to protect them, even though we now have clothes, homes, and furnaces.

In addition to making me self-conscious in my crop top, excess belly fat (or any fat) increases the risk of cancer, heart disease, and a whole host of other diseases and ailments.  And this is why I decided to try the Isavera Fat Freezing Belt.  (I used the Isavera Classic that’s specifically for the stomach, but Isavera also makes products for legs, arms, and male chest.)

This belt is not meant to replace a healthy lifestyle

I want to note that this belt is not meant to replace a healthy lifestyle, which is why I’m comfortable endorsing it.  It is not designed for weight loss, and isn’t a “get thin quick “device. This belt should be used in conjunction with a healthy diet and exercise, and I also recommend talking to your doctor before starting to use it.

The price tag of $2000-4000 per Cool Sculpting session was a little steep for my budget

So now let’s get to the science.  I’m sure a lot of you are thinking this belt is too good to be true.  If I wasn’t familiar with Cool Sculpting and the lymphatic system in general, I would have agreed.  But let me tell you why I believe in this belt, even though I just started using it and don’t have any results yet (but I will report back in a couple months with pics and details!)

I’m sure a lot of you are thinking this belt is too good to be true…

Fat freezing (or cryolipolosis) has already been proven as a way to eliminate excess fat.  Fat freezes at a higher temperature than skin, and Cool Sculpting is an FDA approved procedure.

Once the fat cells are frozen, they are cleared out via your lymphatic system.  When you lose fat via diet and exercise, your fat cells simply shrink, but they’re still there.   When your fat cells are frozen, they’re completely eliminated from the body.

Fat freezing has already been proven as a way to eliminate excess fat

As great as Cool Sculpting sounds, the price tag of $2000-4000 per session was a little steep for my budget, and most people need multiple sessions to achieve optimal results.  Isavera offers the opportunity to get the same results in the comfort of your own home.  You’ll need more sessions with your Isavera belt than you would Cool Sculpting sessions, because Cool Sculpting uses a vacuum to target more layers of fat at once.  But the lower price tag is totally worth it for me, and I’m able to sit and work while I wear my belt so it isn’t a huge process.

Once the fat cells are frozen, they are cleared out via your lymphatic system

So, why can’t you just use ice packs you have in your freezer right now? The gel packs Isavera uses are specifically formulated to be used for fat freezing.  They reach temperatures that are 11 degrees higher than the temperature at which frostbite occurs.  If you want to avoid frostbite, DO NOT use regular ice packs or ice to freeze your fat.

Why can’t you just use ice packs you have in your freezer right now?

Now that we’ve reviewed the science, let’s talk about the process of using the Isavera Fat Freezing Belt.  When you first receive your package, you’re going to want to lay your gel packs flat and put them in the freezer for at least 24 hours.  I keep mine on a cookie sheet to make sure they stay flat.

Let’s talk about the process of using the Isavera Fat Freezing Belt

Once the gel packs are frozen, you insert them into the belt and wear the belt for up to an hour.  You’ll receive a link after your purchase with the specifics of how long to wear it, and which pockets to put the gel packs in.  You’re going to start with 5-10 minutes and work your way up.  Make sure to refer to the instructions from Isavera, and pay attention to your skin’s response as you go.

After your session is done, you lube up your skin with lotion and use the massagers provided to massage the area.  This helps break up the frozen fat cells so they can be more easily eliminated through your lymphatic system.  The elimination process can take up to 10-12 weeks, so it may take a while for you to see results, although I did see some photos in Amazon reviews of people’s results in as little as 30 days.

Your lymphatic system is responsible for eliminating all types of toxins and waste from your body

In addition to exercising and maintaining a healthy diet as you use your fat freezing belt, I also suggest taking other steps to improve your lymphatic system.  Not only will this aid in the elimination of fat cells, but your lymphatic system is responsible for eliminating all types of toxins and waste from your body, so you want it functioning properly to achieve optimal wellness.

Other ways to support your lymphatic system include drinking plenty of water, performing lymphatic massage, acupuncture, and jumping on mini trampolines.

Stay tuned for my Isavera results in the coming months, and if you purchase your own belt, please share your results with me too!

***Disclaimer: This product was gifted to me by Isavera.  All opinions expressed here are my own.***

 

 

 

 

Daily Life

How to: A play-based method to help kids learn to cope with big feelings and pandemic anxiety

How to: a play based method to help kids cope with big feelings and pandemic anxiety @parentdaze long beach parenting

2020…  I never imagined there would be a global pandemic in my lifetime, and I definitely didn’t anticipate living through one with 2 kids at home.  It’s been stressful, to say the least.  Juggling working from home while also watching the kids has been hard.  Sometimes it feels like I’m only giving partial effort to any one thing: working, cleaning, parenting, my relationship, self-care… It’s really hard to give 100% when there are no breaks and everyone is home all the time.

Juggling working from home while also watching the kids has been hard

And if parents are feeling the stress, it’s no wonder that kids are too.  We literally picked them up from school one day and told them they wouldn’t be returning for an undetermined amount of time.  They don’t get to see their friends, family visits have either stopped or changed drastically for most of us, and the routine they used to find familiar is gone.  We’ve also canceled birthday parties, the playgrounds are closed, and for a while, so were parks, beaches, and almost every other public outdoor space.

Our kids don’t get to see their friends and the routine they used to find familiar is gone. 

That’s not easy for littles.  They need exercise, they need social interaction, they need stimulation for their brains.  And now, parents are responsible for filling all those roles.  We’re not only parents anymore; we’re also teachers, friends, chefs, and maids.  We’re in charge of PE, and sometimes we’re nurses.  Even though we know our kids are struggling, it’s still incredibly difficult to fill all of these roles while still leaving time for ourselves and our other responsibilities outside of parenting.

Kids need exercise, social interaction, and stimulation for their brains.  And now, parents are responsible for filling all those roles.

I’ve noticed that Katie in particular has been having a hard time during the shutdown.  She’s very social, and very physically active. Since we’ve been home, she has been getting upset about little things, and she has a hard time calming herself down once she gets worked up.

Purrble is an interactive toy that helps facilitate self-soothing behavior

We recently received a Purrble as part of a brand collaboration.  Purrble is an interactive toy that helps facilitate self-soothing behavior.  Studies show that kids calm themselves down as they calm others, and Purrble fills that role.  When Purrble first wakes up, it has a rapid heartbeat.  As kids pet its back and sides, the heartbeat gradually slows down to a purr.  It has sensors that respond to touch, so if your child starts fidgeting or jostling Purrble again, the heartbeat will speed back up.

Studies show that kids calm themselves down as they calm others

We love that this method of calming is play-based, and it doesn’t make kids feel shamed for their big emotions.  I also love that it’s a tool I can use when I’m tapped out.  Stopping what I’m doing every few minutes to respond to an outburst is really taxing, and it makes it hard to get things done.  That doesn’t mean Purrble will replace the guidance of a parent, but it’s really helpful to be able to hand it to Katie when she’s upset and give her a chance to soothe herself before determining if I need to step in.

Stopping what I’m doing every few minutes to respond to an outburst is really taxing, and it makes it hard to get things done

I was surprised how much I enjoy Purrble too.  Petting its soft fur is really soothing to me when I’m stressed.  I also noticed, while browsing amazon reviews, that several other adults had Purrbles of their own, so it’s not just for kids.  Purrble is 20% off for holiday week (12/1-12/6) as a Prime member exclusive benefit.  Click to shop for a Purrble of your own and be on your way to a calmer household.

This method of calming is play-based, and it doesn’t make kids feel shamed for their big emotions

*This post was written as a part of a paid partnership with Purrble.  All views and opinions expressed here are my own*

Daily Life

Surviving Parenting During a Pandemic

Parenting during pandemic, Shoreline Village Long beach @parentdaze

How have your parenting roles changed during the pandemic?

When Jason started working from home at the beginning of the shutdown, I felt obligated to watch the kids during the day, as I usually did when he was at the office. Except now, I wasn’t getting my work time because the kids no longer had preschool.

I spent the first couple weeks burning the candle at both ends.

I spent the first couple weeks burning the candle at both ends. I would watch the kids all day while Jason worked, and then I’d do my work after he was done. A couple hours after he finished, the kids would go to bed and he was free for the evening while I was up late every night. Jason’s the primary breadwinner in our family, so his work is important, but I was also feeling resentful that he still got free time after the kids went to bed while I was sacrificing mine so I could split up work and kid-time. I could feel it taking a toll on my mental health.

I could feel it taking a toll on my mental health.

I met with Parent Coach @MaryVanGeffen to look at how I could find some balance in my life while still being fair to the kids. None of this was anyone’s fault; this is a new situation for all of us. I was missing the big chunks of time I used to get from preschool, but what’s the solution? It’s taken several months to finally figure out what works for us and once kindergarten starts, we’re expecting another curveball.

None of this was anyone’s fault; this is a new situation for all of us.

For now, our plan is that I bring my work things to the bluff most mornings because Jason wakes up later, and the beginning of his work day is slower. The kids also have some online classes so he can focus on work while they’re engaged and learning, and neither of feel guilty that they aren’t getting enough attention. In the afternoon, I take over and I take the kids outside for a couple hours and then we play together until dinner.

I’m still missing a lot of me-time, a couple showers, and a few pieces of my sanity

While it’s been hard navigating our new roles and new schedules, I’m proud that we were able to communicate and figure out something that’s fair and that works for both of us, and also for the kids. It’s not perfect. I’m still missing a lot of me-time, a couple showers, and a few pieces of my sanity, as I’m sure we all are, but it looks like this will be our new normal for a while.

Can anyone else relate? How have you navigated the changes in your parenting roles?⁠

Daily Life

Safer at Home: Keeping the kids busy, focusing on health and wellness, and finding our new normal

Dole Wellness Resources for healthy living @parentdaze instagram

*This post is sponsored by The Dole Food Company.  All opinions are my own.*

Quarantine day: 7938928… We’re still trying to find our groove with work, play time, learning, and all of us being home 24/7. 

Some days are great.  I’m productive, I do fun learning projects with the kids, I pick something to organize, and I feel like I’m nailing this quarantine parenting.  Other days we don’t get dressed until it’s almost lunch time, I let the kids watch a little more tv than I would like, and I spend too much time reading the news and stressing myself out.  It’s a delicate balance, and I’m trying to be gentle with myself.  This is a new experience for all of us, or “these unforeseen times” as the media keeps calling it.  

This is a new experience for all of us, or “these unforeseen times” as the media keeps calling it.  

In our house, the 80/20 balance seems to work for us.  We try to eat well and be productive 80% of the time, and then 20% of the time, we can order takeout and watch an extra movie in our jammies. Each of us only has so much to give, and we also need time to recharge.

In our house, the 80/20 balance seems to work for us.

One of the positives I’ve seen come out of this pandemic is that a lot of my favorite companies are offering more wellness resources to consumers. Some of you may already know that I’m pretty obsessed with Dole pineapples (aka nature’s candy!) And did you know that pineapples used to be a symbol of wealth back in the day?  Basically if you went to a dinner party and the host had a pineapple as a centerpiece, you were a much appreciated guest, and your host was either royal or very wealthy. A little history tidbit for you!

A lot of my favorite companies are offering more wellness resources to consumers.

So, I’m sure you know Dole for their pineapples, other fresh fruits, and also their pre-made salads (weeknight game changers!)  But now, Dole also has At-Home Resources on their website, including printables and fun games and activities for kids.  My 5 year old loves the Shop Til you Drop game where you have to name a fruit or vegetable that starts with the letter you land on.  The best part is, you can use a coin instead of dice and you don’t need any other materials to play!

Dole also has At-Home Resources on their website, including printables and fun games and activities for kids. 

We’ve also been focusing more on keeping our bodies healthy lately (at least 80% of the time!) The expression “You are what you eat” is a pretty accurate statement.  I know how I feel when I eat junk food too many days in a row!  Eating whole foods sets the stage for good mental health, good physical health, and a good immune system.  And Dole has resources on their website for all types of topics like brain health, immunity,  and blood pressure, among other things. The immunity section is my favorite.  As someone who suffers from endometriosis, my immune system is slightly compromised so I make a point to eat immune boosting foods and avoid activities that are stressful, whenever possible. There is obviously no magic pill that keeps you healthy or immune to sickness, but eating the proper foods, exercising, and reducing stress can definitely give you a leg up.

Eating whole foods sets the stage for good mental health, good physical health, and a good immune system.

When I first heard of Dole’s new At-Home Resources on their website, I honestly expected them to all be salesy.  Like “if you have low energy, eat more pineapples for nutrients.”  I was pretty surprised and impressed to see that most of their articles are just… resources.  Yes, this post was sponsored by Dole, but it’s important to me to partner with companies that align with my values.  The fact that Dole is putting out helpful articles for no purpose other than giving the world nutrition-based resources makes my heart smile.  This is the type of company I stand behind (bonus that they have those delicious pineapples!)

It’s important to me to partner with companies that align with my values

If you’re looking for activities for your kids, information on how to boost your immunity or your mood, fruit and veggie prepping hacks, or you just want some fun new recipes, I recommend checking out Dole’s At-Home Resources on their site.  There are so many resources on the site already and they’re being updated weekly!  Also, don’t be too hard on yourself while we’re in quarantine.  We’re all doing the best we can.  If you get your junk drawer organized, awesome.  If all you did today was keep your family alive and spray dry shampoo in your hair for the third day in a row, that’s fine too.  We’ll get through this together.

Daily Life

The Miracle of Life: Remembering Not to Take it for Granted

Me and the girls on Mother's Day 2019

Mother’s Day… Some people think it’s just another Hallmark holiday..

A reason to buy cards and flowers that were marked up in price for the week. But I like to take the day to really appreciate what it means to be a mom.  I think about everything my mom has done for me, and now that I have kids of my own, I appreciate that I get to be a mom to them as well.

Katie had colic, so the day wasn’t what I hoped it would be.

I’ll never forget my first Mother’s Day.  K wasn’t even 2 months old and Jason and I were still navigating what it meant to be parents.  He got me takeout from one of my favorite restaurants and said he would watch K for the day so I could watch a movie and relax.  But Katie had colic, so there was no relaxing. She screamed the entire day, which wasn’t very conducive to watching a movie.  Looking back, I don’t know why I didn’t just take a walk by myself.  But we were new parents, and we felt like we had to do all of our parenting together. 

I reflect a little bit every year on Mother’s Day about the baby we’ll never meet

On my 2nd Mother’s Day, I was pregnant again.  K was about 13 months.  I actually don’t remember what we did, but I remember thinking that I would have 2 children the next time we celebrated Mother’s Day.  That was the pregnancy we lost. I reflect a little bit every year on Mother’s Day about the baby we’ll never meet, but I know that without this loss, we wouldn’t have Isabelle.

Sore nipples, a healing wound from being cut in half, and minimal sleep don’t put me in the celebrating mood.

Mother's Day 2017. First outing post c-section.

Mother’s Day 2017. First outing post c-section.

I never got to be a mom to that baby, but on my third Mother’s Day, I still found myself a mother of 2.  Just barely.  I got pregnant with Isabelle 4 weeks after my miscarriage, and she was born 6 days before Mother’s Day.  I was still recovering from a c section, so we took it easy that year.  Sore nipples, a healing wound from being cut in half, and minimal sleep don’t put me in the celebrating mood.  We did a quick brunch and then spent the day at home.

K put on her octopus head from Halloween.

My fourth Mother’s Day was hectic.  The girls were 3 and 1.  We took them to brunch, but I didn’t spend much time reflecting that year.  I didn’t spend much time doing anything, actually, aside from running around chasing a toddler and a baby.   I do remember trying to get a cute Mother’s Day photo of them in their matching jammies, and K put on her octopus head from Halloween.  Then she wore it the entire mile walk to brunch, and all during brunch.  She kept asking me to hold her tentacles so she didn’t get syrup on them while she ate pancakes.

In February, I had my fourth surgery for endometriosis.

Mother's Day 2018. Katie wearing her octopus head on the walk to brunch.

Mother’s Day 2018. Katie wearing her octopus head on the walk to brunch.

Yesterday was my fifth Mother’s Day.  I found myself much more reflective this year.  In February, I had my fourth surgery for endometriosis.  They found endometriosis, scar tissue adhesions from my c section, and adenomyosis.  I joined a Endometriosis facebook support group following surgery, so I could have a place to talk about my pain and support other women through theirs.

To them, Mother’s Day is a reminder that they will likely never conceive.

When I was browsing my facebook newsfeed yesterday morning, I saw post after post in the support group from women whose endometriosis has caused them fertility problems.  These women were struggling yesterday.  To them, Mother’s Day is a reminder that they will likely never conceive.  I know there are other ways to be a mother, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t difficult for women who wanted to conceive a child and are unable to.  It hurt my heart for them, and it made me count my blessings that I was able to have 2 healthy girls, despite my endometriosis.

Conceiving a child is truly a miracle

Conceiving a child is truly a miracle.  So many things need to go right, just for the conception to occur.  Then when you consider that the majority of babies are born with 2 arms and 2 eyes and a heart that pumps their blood exactly the way it’s supposed to… It’s incredible.  I had to stop and marvel at the miracle of it all, and appreciate my healthy girls.

Does this mean I don’t think we should celebrate Mother’s Day because not everyone can conceive children of their own?

Mother's Day 2018. My "cute" Mother's Day pic of the girls in matching jammies.

Mother’s Day 2018. My “cute” Mother’s Day pic of the girls in matching jammies.

Does this mean every second is a joy?  Absolutely not.  Motherhood is the toughest job I’ve ever had, and it definitely has its ups and downs.  Does this mean I don’t think we should celebrate Mother’s Day because not everyone can conceive? Also, no.  That’s like saying we shouldn’t eat because not everyone has food.  But I do think it’s something we should keep in mind as we celebrate, and be grateful.

I want to focus on the feel of their sticky little hands on the back of my neck when they come in for hugs.

It also means that I want to take more moments to slow down, to stop and appreciate my kids for the miracles they are.   I want to tell them I love them every single day.   I want to focus on the feel of their sticky little hands on the back of my neck when they come in for hugs.  I want to remember the relief I felt when I heard each of their first cries.  I want to remember that I’m lucky, and so are they.

Motherhood is a privilege, and those of us who are able to experience it – whether through conception, adoption, or surrogacy – are truly blessed.  And that is what I learned on my fifth Mother’s Day.  

Daily Life

SoCal Apartment Living: YES, You Can Have a Fireplace! This Ameriwood Fireplace TV Stand is Total Apartment Goals!

Ameriwood Barrow Creek Fireplace TV Stand

Our apartment is finally coming together! When we were in the one bedroom, we needed every inch of usable space. Our bookshelf was full of the kids’ books, all of our drawers and closets were full, and the kitchen counters had appliances on them. Sometimes it felt like we were living like hoarders, but we just didn’t have enough space to store things out of sight.

Sometimes it felt like we were living like hoarders

Now that we’ve moved into the 2 bedroom and have more space, everything has a place. With things put away and hidden from view, our apartment looks much neater and more grown-up. The kids’ toys and books are now in their bedroom and for the first time, we found ourselves with empty surface spaces. We actually got to go shopping for knick knacks! I have never been so excited to walk into Marshall’s a look at globes and picture frames!

We actually got to go shopping for knick knacks!

Ameriwood Barrow Creek Fireplace TV Stand with Katie and balloonsThroughout our decorating, we decided a new tv stand would really tie the room together. I was gifted a piece of furniture from Ameriwood in exchange for my honest review, and this Barrow Creek Electric Fireplace TV Stand is what I chose.

I grew up in Michigan and we always had fires roaring in the winter.

The first thing I wanted in a TV stand was a fireplace. I grew up in Michigan and we always had fires roaring in the winter. After this freezing cold SoCal winter (well, freezing to us!), a fireplace seemed like the perfect addition. I love the ambiance of a fireplace and it’s a great spot to cozy up as a family. And of course, I love the heat!

I love the ambiance of a fireplace and it’s a great spot to cozy up as a family.

I’d be lying if I said that Jason wasn’t skeptical about the “fake” fireplace feature. He had seen ones in the past that he thought looked silly, but he was pleasantly surprised with the aesthetic of this one. It’s electric so the actual “fire” isn’t real, but it looks really charming. You can tell it isn’t a real fire, but the “logs” and “flames” are the best I’ve seen in an electric fireplace. It almost reminds me of the Ameriwood Barrow Creek Fireplace TV Stand by itselfcrackling fire videos on Netflix that we put on for background ambiance during the holidays. The look is a little digital, and not the paper “flames” blowing around like some of the other electric fireplaces I’ve seen.

It provides enough heat that I can turn off our actual heat for the rest of the day.

The amount of heat the fireplace kicks out was a pleasant surprise also! We turn it on for an hour in the morning while we’re getting ready and it provides enough heat that I can turn off our actual heat for the rest of the day. I also like that the glass in front doesn’t get hot, so I don’t have to worry about the kids or the cats getting burned on it.

How grown up are we with matching furniture?!

The second thing I wanted in a TV stand was storage. While I do like the look of glass cupboard doors, we see enough brightly colored kids toys lying around the house and would rather not see more stuff in cupboards, so I opted for the Barrow Creek TV Stand with wooden doors. (Barrow Creek has an option with glass doors as well.) We use the cupboards for DVDs, gaming controllers, and other tv-related items. The shelves inside the cupboards can be placed at different heights so if you wanted to store something taller than DVDs, you could adjust the shelves accordingly.

The price of this Fireplace TV Stand is much more affordable than similar ones I’ve seen.

Ameriwood Home bookshelf Wildwood Veneer in Espresso

Ameriwood Home bookshelf Wildwood Wood Veneer in Espresso

This TV stand is sturdy and it looks really elegant. We got the color Espresso to match our Ameriwood bookshelf (How grown up are we with matching furniture?!) Even though it was gifted to us, the price to purchase it is much more affordable than similar fireplace TV stands I’ve seen.

Ordering online and having this delivered made things really easy for us with the kids.

The fact that you can order Ameriwood furniture online and have it delivered made things really easy for us with the kids. Going to a furniture store and looking around with a 2 and 4 year old is kind of a nightmare, and then paying for delivery or renting a truck to get an already-assembled piece of furniture to our apartment is another hassle. The obvious downside of the mail order is that you have to assemble the furniture yourself, but the instructions were very easy to follow. Jason, my dad, and I each grabbed a beer and had the TV stand together in about an hour and a half!

Daily Life

Because You Don’t Want to End Up in a Nursing Home (and 4 other reasons you need a Revolution Balance Board)

Katie, age 4, balancing on a Revolution Balance Board

If you live in SoCal, chances are you know someone with a Revolution balance board. And it’s probably someone who surfs or skateboards. 

The motions you need to balance on the board are similar to those you need to balance on a skateboard or surfboard, so that makes sense.  If you have never seen a Revolution Balance board, here’s what the board does: 

When you try to stand on the board with the roller underneath, the roller moves back and forth.

I know the image looks like my daughter just standing on a board and not in motion, so allow me to explain.  The “board” is like the deck of a skateboard, and you put the roller underneath it. When you try to stand on the board with the roller underneath, the roller moves back and forth.  It takes core strength, focus, and balance (not to mention practice), to be able to keep both ends of the board off the ground.

It takes core strength, focus, and balance

Revolution FIT balance board on the Rocker base

Revolution FIT balance board on the Rocker base

Does this type of balancing sound a little too advanced for your current ability level?  Don’t worry, you’re not alone!  It took me several attempts and a lot of hand holding before I was able to balance on my own.  This was using my neighbor’s 101 Balance Board that comes with the board and roller, but there’s an easier way to get started if you don’t already have great balance.

There’s an easier way to get started if you don’t already have great balance.

What I would recommend to beginners, and what I started my daughter on, is the FIT Exercise Balance Board.  It comes with 3 different bases so you can work your way up to using the roller.  The first base is called The Rocker.  It looks like a half cylinder and is the easiest of the 3 bases.  You can still feel your core engaging as you try to balance, but there is minimal fall risk and you can start to get a feel for the motion required for the next bases.

You can still feel your core engaging as you try to balance, but there is minimal fall risk.

The second base is called the The Wobble Cushion.  It’s like a round rubber pillow that you fill up with air.

Revolution FIT Exercise Balance Board on The Wobble Cushion Base

Revolution FIT Exercise Balance Board on The Wobble Cushion Base

This one is a little bit more difficult.  The board can move in more directions with this one and I think it can really help prepare you for the third base, when you’re ready.  And then, of course, the roller.

The roller is the most difficult, and there’s a bit of a learning curve.

The roller is the most difficult and there’s a bit of a learning curve.  I would definitely recommend holding onto a sturdy chair or to someone’s hands the first few times you use it.  When I was starting out, I would sometimes lose balance and both of my legs would shift to the side at the same time.  This is where holding onto someone or something comes in handy because you don’t want to end up on the ground.

If you’re like me, getting the hang of balancing on your own might take a couple weeks.

Revolution FIT Exercise Balance Board on The Roller base

Revolution FIT Exercise Balance Board on The Roller base

If you’re like me, getting the hang of balancing on your own might take a couple weeks.  If you’re like my almost 4 year old, it might be a matter of days.  It’s crazy how quickly kids can learn things!

So, what’s the point of it?

So, what’s the point of it?  Could this back and forth balancing motion have any benefits for the average person, even if you don’t surf or skateboard?  And is it worth the price tag?  Here are 5 reasons you might want a Revolution balance board of your own.

ONE – Because you had a c-section/have a ventral hernia/have diastasis recti

In 2017, I had a c section with my second baby.  Recovery was rough, and getting my core strength back was even rougher.  (The price you pay when they have to cut through your abs to get your baby out, amirite?). Traditional ab workouts like crunches and planks were especially difficult, even moreso considering that I have a ventral hernia and diastasis recti.

So, what else is there to do for your core?

So, what else is there to do for your core?  Anything that involved bending my body together too much or leaning forward like you do for planks was difficult.  Introducing: Revolution Balance Boards.  A neighbor of ours has one and I first tried it out at his house.  I could feel it engaging my core without bending, and trying to get better at balancing on it was super addictive.  (Shout out to my neighbor for not complaining about all the times I asked him to hold my arms while I was learning how to balance on it!)

Trying to get better at balancing on it was super addictive.

Now that I’ve had some time to heal, I am using my own RevBalance board and have even been incorporating other exercises as well. It’s super versatile and they have endless workout suggestions using the board on their website.

TWO – Because you suck at meditating

I know, technically you can’t “suck” at meditating.  But I have such a hard time clearing my mind that my

Meditation on the Revolution 101 Balance Board

Meditation on the Revolution 101 Balance Board

version of meditating usually consists of me mentally going over my to-do list and wondering why I’m “wasting” time meditating when I have so much to do.  Even when I play relaxing music or listen to a guided meditation, it’s really difficult for me to clear my head (thanks, anxiety!)

My version of meditating usually consists of me mentally going over my to-do list

Standing on my balance board while I meditate solves this problem for me.  I like to bring my board out to the park or to the beach and look out at the ocean, and then meditate as I balance.  Thinking about balancing doesn’t require my whole brain, but it does occupy enough of it that I am able to clear my head more easily and focus on my breathing and the feel of my body. It’s really relaxing and I feel good knowing I am also improving my core strength and balance at the same time.

THREE – Because you have a kid who can’t stop moving

My almost-4-year-old… Where to begin.  She started climbing out of her crib at 18 months, by 2 she was doing monkey bars, by 2.5 she ran her first 5k with me.  This is great for days I’m able to take her to the park or the beach or a trampoline park, but when we’re stuck at home because of rain or some other reason, it’s a struggle. 

By 2.5 years old she ran her first 5k with me.

Katie on the Revolution FIT balance board with The Roller Base

Katie on the Revolution FIT balance board with The Roller Base

The end result is usually timeout after timeout because she won’t stop jumping on the couch, jumping off the swivel chairs at the desk, climbing anything in sight, hanging off of the door frames, you get the idea.  She needs to move her body, but living in SoCal means we don’t exactly have the space to set up obstacle courses in our apartment (nor do I think our downstairs neighbor would appreciate it…)

She won’t stop jumping on the couch, jumping off the swivel chairs at the desk, climbing anything in sight…

So, you can imagine how excited she was when our balance boards arrived.  It was good for her for a couple reasons.  The first, like I said, is that it gives her the chance to be active with her body. 

She needs to learn that practicing to get better at things is a part of life, and it’s a rewarding process. 

The second is that it’s something that she needed to practice at because she wasn’t able to balance on the

Katie, age 4, balancing on a Revolution Balance Board

Katie, age 4, balancing on a Revolution FIT Exercise Balance Board

roller the first day it arrived.  Or the second.  Or the third.  She has always been so physically capable so when she isn’t automatically good at a physical task, she gets frustrated.  But this is a good thing.  She needs to learn that practicing to get better at things is a part of life, and it’s a rewarding process. 

This is a physical task that requires focus

I also like that this is a physical task that requires focus, like I mentioned in the section about mediating. Her

and I could both stand to be a little more focused.

FOUR – Because you want to live long and live in your own home.

Did you know that flexibility, muscle power, and balance are the keys to longevity?  These 3 factors will determine whether or not you will be capable of living alone in old age, and they also affect your fall risk as you age (and your mortality as a result.).

These 3 factors will determine whether or not you will be capable of living alone in old age

In a 2002, a study involving 2000 people aged 51-80 tested the ability to sit down into a cross legged position and then stand back up again without using their hands or sides of legs.  Those who performed poorly were twice as likely to die in the next 6 years compared with those who scored higher.

Those who performed poorly were twice as likely to die in the next 6 years compared with those who scored higher.

So, how can you get to work on muscle power, balance, and flexibility?  Squats are wonderful for this, planking is another exercise that incorporates all 3.  And of course, the RevBalance Board*, which is way more fun than regular squats and planks!

*Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional and cannot make any official claims on behalf of RevBalance.  Using a RevBalance Board does not guarantee longevity.  These are simply facts from studies about factors that affect the ability to live alone and live longer.*

FIVE – Because you are easily bored with “regular” exercises. 

If you’re anything like me, you’re not a fan of counting out reps in the gym.  I’ve always liked jogging for my cardio, but lifting weights was never really enjoyable for me.  I liked the result, but it’s hard to push yourself to do workouts you don’t enjoy.

Lifting weights was never really enjoyable for me.

Incorporating my balance board into body weight activities makes them so much more enjoyable.  Squats, overhead press with weights, curls, literally every exercise is more fun on the board.  It adds an element of focus when you have to balance as you work your muscles.  Bonus points that you can do it outside when the weather is nice!  Just pack up some dumb bells and your board and head out!

So, is it worth the price?

So, is it worth the price?  Without a doubt.  The boards are made really well so they last practically forever.  Everyone in our family enjoys them and can barely walk past a board without hopping on for a quick balance.  And if you look at all the benefits combined – balance, core strength, focus, indoor/outdoor use, novel fitness activities, it’s easy to see why these boards are worth the investment.