Why We Weaned for 3 Weeks and then Gave the Pacifier Back

I know we might be regretting this… but we gave my daughter her pacifier back after almost 3 weeks without it.  To be fair we weren’t even planning on weaning right now in the first place.  We were on our way to Michigan and it got lost somewhere at airport security (I later realized I actually did grab it and put it in my backpack…) so we flew without it. 

To be fair we weren’t even planning on weaning right now in the first place.

Once we got to Michigan, we were at my parents’ house and Katie was so excited to see her grandparents, she forgot about her “sassy.”  All of a sudden we were on day 3 without it, so we figured, this is as good of a time as ever.

Would we never see one in our house again?  

Secretly, I was a little sad.  I felt so unprepared!  Our younger daughter, Isabelle, doesn’t take a pacifier. Would we never see one in our house again?  And was I really missing the thing that ruined 7,000 photos?  The thing that when we accidentally left without it meant scrambling to find the nearest place that sold one, even sometimes walking a mile in 90 degree heat to get to a store (Happy second Father’s Day, Jason!). These stupid pacifiers were so important for so long, and all of a sudden we didn’t need them!  But obviously I wasn’t going to give it back because I was a little wistful,  That would be selfish, and K seemed to be doing fine without it.

These stupid pacifiers were so important for so long, and all of a sudden we didn’t need them! 

On day 4, we had an incident where K had trouble falling asleep.  We were, however, in my childhood bedroom, in Michigan, and it’s dark and quiet there, not to mention new to her.  She asked for it while crying several times.  No, begged for it.  I told myself this was part of weaning and we would get through it. 

She asked for it while crying several times.  No, begged for it.

We had no more incidents before we left Michigan about a week later and headed home.  K started waking up at night thrashing and screaming.  Night terrors. This was happening every 2 or 3 hours almost every single night.  And when she woke, she was inconsolable.  She almost seemed to have transcended.  She would thrash and scream for a good 10-15 minutes and seemed almost non-responsive to us during that time.  Then this started 20 minutes into nap time too, at which point she would just wake up and refuse to nap.

K started waking up at night thrashing and screaming.  Night terrors.

K was miserable because she was exhausted.   She was acting like an overtired toddler every second of every day.  It was hell.  She was falling apart over everything.  Her dad and I were exhausted from waking with her and our 6 month old, and worn down from dealing with her constant tantrums as a result of her being so tired. 

This week, after 3 weeks of no “sass” and about a week into the sleep disturbances, she woke 20 minutes into her nap, as usual, and was thrashing, screaming, kicking, and shaking the rails of her crib.  It was breaking my heart to see her like this.  She has had a few night terrors in the past, but ones of this severity have been few and far between.  And she was usually able to soothe herself back to sleep after 5 minutes at the most. 

I called Jason at work and told him I was thinking of giving her sass back

I called Jason at work and told him I was thinking of giving her sass back, and asked what he thought.  I said we could make a rule that it stays in the crib at all times, and we can discuss weaning again in another 6 months or so.  (To be fair, dentists and pediatricians recommend weaning between ages 2 and 4, and K is 2.5.  It’s not like she’s taking it to kindergarten.)

To be fair, dentists and pediatricians recommend weaning between ages 2 and 4

Jason agreed to giving sass back, so I did, and K fell right asleep. It’s been 3 more weeks now. She has returned to taking 2-3 hour naps most days of the week and she has only woken twice at night with night terrors.

Maybe it was a phase that would have passed if we waited it out. 

Maybe it was a phase that would have passed if we waited it out.  Maybe it will be harder to wean in the future, when we finally decide to.  I don’t know.  Parenting is a series of decisions and you never know if you’re making the right one.  I can’t say I’m entirely disappointed, as I was a little wistful anyways, but I am happy to have gotten her back to sleeping well again.