Does this sound familiar to anyone? “Please don’t do that. Honey, could you stop doing that? How about we play with this instead? KNOCK IT OFF!!!!” That’s how I sound most days. I really really try to be patient with my 2 year old, especially now that we have a new baby, but it’s So. Hard. I feel like a broken record nicely saying over and over not to do something or what she could do instead, and then I run out of patience and end up snapping at her.
“Please don’t do that. Honey, could you stop doing that? How about we play with this instead? KNOCK IT OFF!!!!”
A battle we chose not to fight. Some teens walking by gave her this blow up cactus and we let her keep it for a while. It made her happy.
I don’t like raising my voice. I rarely used to do it before I had kids, and now I feel like I’m doing it all the time. Not like I’m losing my temper, but it seems to get my kid’s attention after the first thousand times. I try saying it nicely, having a conversation, all the “good” ways of doing it, and nothing seems to work. (And it’s not like hitting is still an option, amirite?) But living like this exhausts me. At the end of the day I feel so drained. And I know they say pick your battles, but 80% of the battles with my toddler NEED to be fought. Jumping on/off furniture, poking/prodding her baby sister, harassing the cats…. It’s not like I lose it because she wants to wear her pj’s to school. I SWEAR I am already picking my battles, and these ones need to be fought.
I know they say pick your battles, but 80% of the battles with my toddler NEED to be fought.
Notice I said fought. That’s how I feel at times. Like I’m always FIGHTING with her. Fighting to get her dressed, fighting to change her diaper, fighting get her to stop jumping on the couch, fighting to get her to eat… well, anything some days. Every night after she goes to bed and I mentally review my day, I feel guilty. I feel like I scolded too much or I’m going to ruin her self-esteem by always saying no. And I vow the next day, I will do better. I will BE better.
Every night after she goes to bed and I mentally review my day, I feel guilty.
And the next day comes and I start out refreshed and ready to take on day and shortly, we’re in the same boat we were in the day before. Like we just woke up and already my kid is jumping off the table onto the couch, quite possibly while the baby is on the next cushion over, and I’m about to pull my hair out. I know part of this is part of dealing with a toddler, and I accept that. There will be challenges. I also know part of this is my kid’s personality: she’s what you would call “a handful.” But I also know that there are some parents who seem to manage their kids much better than I do, surely one of them has a strong willed-child as well, right?
She’s what you would call “a handful.”
So last night I realized that all these other nights I have vowed to be better, I didn’t have the tools. But I wasn’t looking for them either. So I picked up a copy of “The Happiest Toddler on the Block.” (This is not a sponsored post – I just already had a copy of this book someone gifted me but haven’t made a point to read it yet and I figured it was a good place to start.) I only read the first chapter, but I plan on reading a little more every night until I finish it, and then maybe try another book on relating to toddlers, or even a class in my area. Any other time I struggle with something, I do research, I read books, I ask other people what they do, why should parenting be any different? I HAVE to believe there’s a better way. I know some days will still be hard, but I have to try something different, because doing what I’m doing is just not working. So what about you? Do you have trouble getting your kids to listen? What has worked for you?
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