Confession time: watching K finally participate in dance these past couple weeks gives me tears almost the whole class. I have to stifle them so I’m not that weird mom in the back who cries every week. Maybe it’s because she looks so happy now that she finally joined in, maybe it’s because my guilt over bringing her every week is alleviated now that I know she wants to be there.
I still partly felt like a mom forcing their kid to do an activity she didn’t want to do
She always said how much fun she had even when she wasn’t participating, and before every class I made sure to ask if she wanted to be there and she always said yes, but I still partly felt like a mom forcing their kid to do an activity she didn’t want to do as I watched her slide around on the floor week after week, and refuse to participated in every activity but the parachute.
She’s becoming such a little lady right before my eyes.
And then watching her enjoy herself today wearing her new dance outfit, I just realized how grown up she looked. She’s becoming such a little lady right before my eyes. I noticed her listening to her teacher’s instruction and looking for acceptance from her peers, and I had an epiphany that so many other people will influence her life besides me. And at some point, other people will likely begin to influence her more than I will. It was rather jarring to think about, though I know it’s inevitable. It made me think about how I can’t protect her from everything, and I hate that, (tearing up even as I write this 
?. Having kids breaks open your soul and makes all the feelings come out!)
At some point, other people will likely begin to influence her more than I will.
But for now I am grateful I can still hold her tight and give her raspberries on her belly, and she can still be my little girl for a while longer 