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toddler life

Daily Life

Having a Cohesive Instagram Feed

Posted on October 3, 2018

Do you have a cohesive instagram feed? When I first started grammin’, I remember seeing so many beautiful feeds with all-white photos or perfect smiles every time. And no disrespect to the people who can do that, because I’m jealous! I thought that in time, my feed would be a little more cohesive too.

I thought that in time, my feed would be a little more cohesive too

And don’t get me wrong, I absolutely have posed photos, especially the sponsored ones, and my photo quality has improved a lot since I first started ParentDaze. I pay more attention to backgrounds, and lighting, but I’ve also kind of accepted that my feed will never be 100% cohesive. It won’t only have a certain color scheme, and everyone won’t be looking at the camera every time. One reason is because my life just isn’t all that cohesive.

Sure, I could only post the “perfect” pics, but that would be leaving out some of the hugest moments of my life.

I told K to get ready for brunch last weekend and she put on a cape and mask (upsidedown, obviously.) Sure, I could only post the “perfect” pics on ig, but that would be leaving out some of the hugest moments of my life (because we’re almost always a mess over here!) And I don’t want to post ONLY pics of me, or ONLY of the kids, or ONLY of hikes. I started ParentDaze with the intention of sharing all of myself, and not just the perfect moments, and not just one facet of my life. So, here is a little piece of our weekend, mask and all. It’s hectic sometimes, but I really think the organized chaos works for us, even though it isn’t always picture-perfect.

Daily Life

A much needed 3 day weekend

Posted on August 31, 2018

What are everyone’s plans for the 3 day weekend?! I’m so ready, you guys. This has been a really rough with the kids for me. Isabelle is at the age where she wants things but doesn’t know enough words so she’s constantly screaming and clawing at me because she’s upset I don’t know what she wants.

“Can you please get out of the car? It’s time to get out of the car. Let’s get out of the car now. Get out of the car, NOW. Okay I’m going to count to 3 and then I’m going to remove your body from the car.” 

K has really struggled with listening this week too. Everything I ask her starts out like “Can you please get out of the car? It’s time to get out of the car. Let’s get out of the car now. Get out of the car, NOW. Okay I’m going to count to 3 and then I’m going to remove your body from the car.” *Tantrum of the century ensues*… And rinse and repeat for every thing I ask all day. I’m exhausted. I’m spent. Having one of those weeks I wish I could run away! I’m so ready for a 3 day weekend and for Jason to be able to help with the girls. What is everyone else doing this weekend? Any fun plans?

Daily Life

When You Realize Your Kids Are Just Like You…

Posted on August 16, 2018

The face you make while you decide if your floral arrangement is complete or not…. When I lived in Michigan, finding flowers in our yard to put into a vase was one of my favorite things to do in the summer. Some flowers only bloom for small windows of time, so it was extra special to clip some of those for an arrangement. Lilacs were always my favorite. It seemed like they only bloomed for a couple weeks, though it may have actually been longer.

 Sometimes I catch myself trying to correct K on things I do myself and I can’t help but laugh. 

K had a really good time wandering around the yard finding flowers to put into the vase. I think she even added in some shrubbery! It’s so bizarre when you see pieces of yourself in your kids. Personality-wise, I mean, (because looks-wise, they are all Jason!) Sometimes I catch myself trying to correct K on things I do myself and I can’t help but laugh. Yesterday I heard her getting upset while she was stacking some toys and they kept falling. I had to let her know that this is how gravity works, and there was nothing she could do to fight it. Some things will never balance on each other. It’s a fact of life.

Yesterday I heard her getting upset while she was stacking some toys and they kept falling. I had to let her know that this is how gravity works…

But then I thought about all the times I get mad at gravity.  Does anyone else do this? You are carrying a stack of items you stacked poorly and they fall, or a dish falls off of the drying rack because you stacked it poorly? And you want to be mad, but it’s kind of your own fault (and also gravity’s fault, obviously! Not taking all the blame here!) Every once in a while I see these little pieces of myself, some are good and some are bad. But for the bad, I have to remind myself that I feel the same way! And I also remind myself that I can take the opportunity to reflect, and acknowledge how dumb it is to get mad at gravity. I don’t think it’s going anywhere.

Daily Life

Lowering My Expectations

Posted on August 10, 2018

I may not do everything perfectly, but when I see my kid barefoot in the grass making clover chains (with some help, of course), I know I’m doing something right. It’s funny because the girls and I are all our best selves when we’re outside, and especially if we’re outside being active. Sometimes I get frustrated with K when she gets bored and restless and starts acting out. I have to remind myself that I don’t like sitting inside for hours either! The world is ours to explore. It’s why we pay the big bucks to live in a teeny tiny apartment in Southern California.

Sometimes I get frustrated with K when she gets bored and restless and starts acting out. I have to remind myself that I don’t like sitting inside for hours either!

We may not have seasons (which I do miss sometimes – especially when it’s in the 90s around Halloween…), but I love being near the beach, the mountains, the redwoods…. We can see snow, hike through a canyon in the desert, and take a stroll down Rodeo Drive all in a day. I try to instill in my kids that life is for living outdoors. Yes, we watch some tv, but we also try to go somewhere every day that we can.

There are trees to climb and hills to roll down and of course, boo boos to bandage later because my girls both have skinned knees constantly.

It doesn’t have to be expensive. Kids this age are so easily entertained with the world around them. Bringing binoculars or a magnifying glass outside can keep them occupied for hours. There are trees to climb and hills to roll down and of course, boo boos to bandage later because my girls both have skinned knees constantly. But I think they’re happy. And most of the time, I’m happy too. So today instead of worrying around my messy apartment and the closet I still need to clean out and my never ending to-do list, I’m going to choose to be at peace. I’m definitely doing something right.

Opinion Pieces

Lessons from Toddlers: Getting What You Want in Life

Posted on March 22, 2018
K Pirate face

“Mommy, tickle me!  No, not my tummy, tickle my back.  Tickle faster!  Now tickle sloooow.”  *Toddler giggles ensue*. Does this sound familiar to anyone?  Do you ever notice how toddlers seem to get everything they want?  I mean, assuming it’s safe, reasonable, and not too costly?

Do you ever notice how toddlers seem to get everything they want?

Now what about this scenario:  “Hey, girlfriend, I’m going out with my friends.  Is that cool?”  “Sure, boyfriend.  I don’t care.  Do whatever you want.”  *Angry seething ensues*. Has anyone also been there?

The second scenario was teenage me.  I expected my then-boyfriend to be a mind-reader and got mad when I didn’t get what I wanted.  This led to a very confused boyfriend.  “You said it was okay?”  (No, I wasn’t a complete psycho and this wasn’t something that happened ALL the time, but it definitely happened occasionally.  I was young, don’t judge me.)

“Mom, stop singing.”

The first scenario is where I strive to be.  Perhaps a little less demanding… But if you look at toddlers, you always know what they want.  Because they ALWAYS tell you.  “Mom, stop singing.”  “I don’t want to take a bath.”  “Sharing makes me sad.”

Saying what you want isn’t always easy.  Especially at first.  It makes me feel needy to utter phrases like “I need attention” or “I’m having a hard time today.”  And no one likes to feel needy.  But what’s worse than worrying about how you potentially look to others is never getting what you want because you don’t speak up.

It makes me feel needy to utter phrases like “I need attention.”

There is definitely a downside to this.  Sometimes you put yourself out there, but the answer is no.  Just like we have to tell our kids no.  Sometimes you may be in the middle of a meltdown, call your significant other at work and tell them you desperately need them (ahem, K’s colic days…  dark times…), and they have a meeting or can’t talk for some other reason.  But even if that happens some of the time, is it better to never ask?  And shoulder every burden alone?

Sometimes you put yourself out there, but the answer is no.

I’m not perfect and I still have not mastered this 100%. But being upfront as often as possible, especially with people I care about, is where I strive to be.  It’s how you get the love you deserve, it’s how you get raises, and people respect a straight-shooter. 

Demanding women are “bitchy” and demanding men are “go-getters.”

It’s especially hard for women to master this because we are expected to be pleasant and agreeable. (I know these old-timey views are changing but they still absolutely affect gender-roles today.). Demanding women are “bitchy” and demanding men are “go-getters.”  But shouldn’t we all strive to be go-getters?  How else are we supposed to get what we want if we don’t go get it?

Daily Life

Through the eyes of a child

Posted on February 18, 2018

It’s so funny how spending time with a child changes the way you look at things. I probably passed these things a thousand times without looking through them when K was a baby. Now that she’s old enough, she wants to look through them every time we pass them. What’s funny is now I look through them too, even when she isn’t with me.

I feel like being around her makes me appreciate the beauty around me more. I look up at the clouds and the leaves in the trees (I feel like I never used to look up!), I squat down to get a better view of flowers and bugs, I even started appreciating all the different types of transportation more. Before kids I would have spent my drives being annoyed with traffic and never would have thought, “Wow, today I saw 2 tankers, a fire truck, and a garbage truck! How cool is that?!”

It’s no wonder toddlers and babies sleep so much, noticing everything is like sensory overload! When I listen to K point out not only objects but the colors and shapes that make up those objects and the letters or numbers on them, I can’t believe the details I overlook in every day life. Don’t get me wrong, of course there is a time and place and it only makes sense that us adults overlook those things. Can you imagine trying to navigate your way to a new destination while also noticing every color and shape and letter around you? It would be impossible! (And also probably why it takes toddlers so long to get from Point A to Point B .)

But, when it’s safe and you have the time, there is really nothing better than looking at things through a toddler’s eyes. It’s truly magical.

Daily Life

Watching K enjoy Michigan

Posted on December 28, 2017

Taking a bath in my parents’ big tub. It was mine and my brother’s fav when we were little! (Actually still my fav when I come home ?!) It takes a while to fill up and you have to make sure no one else has showers scheduled after you because they might not get any hot water, but it’s worth it!

It’s almost like swimming when you have a little toddler body (or even an extra long toddler body like K ?.) I am just having so much fun watching K enjoy all the things I did when I was little in the house I grew up in. Bathtime in the big tub, lounging in front of the fire, making a snowman, helping my mom cook. It brings back the fondest memories of growing up and makes my heart swell so big!

Daily Life

The Essence of K

Posted on November 28, 2017

Wild hair, skeleton friend, dressed by daddy, mismatched shoes (not pictured), sneaky smile, hiding in a tree that she says smells like Christmas (which she knows from a pine scented candle we have at home.) I love this photo because it really embodies Katie. All that’s missing is a perpetually dirty face no matter how often we wipe it (seriously, this kid is a dirt magnet .)

She’s loud and funny and tenacious and her personality shows in everything she does. She is giving me hell with potty training (omg this pooping issue might kill me) and taking her places is always a crap shoot because not touching is hard! (especially places like Roger’s Gardens that have beautiful fragile items all over the place …) But this is my Katie. I can’t believe such a big personality can fit in such a tiny package 

Daily Life

Of course K likes fancy cars

Posted on November 27, 2017

“Dear Santa, I’ve been REALLY good….” Today I am thankful for the places we go as a family that are not really family places, and are still treated with kindness. K has been really into cars since the car show we attended this summer. As of late, she had started to distinguish that some cars are “fancy cars” (although she has yet to mention that perhaps Mommy’s car isn’t a fancy car, but it does have a 2000s navigation system that was probably cutting edge at the time ?.)

I have always wanted to stop at this Maserati dealership (because who wouldn’t want to check out a Maserati dealership?!) but have never really had a reason, not to mention I have no plans to make a purchase (yet ?.) Today when we passed and K shouted FANCY CARS, we stopped. The salesman asked K what color car she liked and she said red and he gave her a picture with a red Ferrari on it (which she is actually sleeping with right now.)

It was nice that he came out to greet us and treated us like regular customers even though I’m sure he knew we weren’t there to purchase. And K took a picture with almost every “fancy car” and kept saying “Turn it on! Turn it on!” It’s funny how the little things can really make a toddler’s day. Test drive next time?

Daily Life

Happy Thanksgiving!

Posted on November 23, 2017

Today I am thankful for these 2 healthy beautiful girls! I have been thinking a lot about the pregnancy I lost lately… I really thought the feelings would disappear after Isabelle was born, and the fact that they haven’t makes me feel guilty sometimes. I mean, she wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t lost the pregnancy before her.

But even though the drs couldn’t say why I lost my second pregnancy, they suspected it was a blighted ovum, and would likely not have been a viable pregnancy or if it was, the baby may not have been healthy. I say this about Isabelle and not Katie because I wasn’t as worried about something going wrong with K – it was my first pregnancy, nothing had gone wrong before, and I was so terrified about the thought of a new baby that miscarriage rarely crossed my mind. With Isabelle, it was all I could think about.

But, I digress, as the focus on this post is about the positive. I am just so grateful to have these 2 healthy and happy children. It is astounding to me that it takes so long to grow a child and the cells have to replicate so many times… HOW is it that it goes exactly as planned this many times to make this many healthy babies?! Isn’t it amazing? To create a child that walks and talks and smiles and has 2 arms and 2 legs, we really don’t marvel at it enough. There’s a reason they call it the miracle of life; it’s truly nothing short of a miracle.