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threenager

Daily Life

Having a Cohesive Instagram Feed

Posted on October 3, 2018

Do you have a cohesive instagram feed? When I first started grammin’, I remember seeing so many beautiful feeds with all-white photos or perfect smiles every time. And no disrespect to the people who can do that, because I’m jealous! I thought that in time, my feed would be a little more cohesive too.

I thought that in time, my feed would be a little more cohesive too

And don’t get me wrong, I absolutely have posed photos, especially the sponsored ones, and my photo quality has improved a lot since I first started ParentDaze. I pay more attention to backgrounds, and lighting, but I’ve also kind of accepted that my feed will never be 100% cohesive. It won’t only have a certain color scheme, and everyone won’t be looking at the camera every time. One reason is because my life just isn’t all that cohesive.

Sure, I could only post the “perfect” pics, but that would be leaving out some of the hugest moments of my life.

I told K to get ready for brunch last weekend and she put on a cape and mask (upsidedown, obviously.) Sure, I could only post the “perfect” pics on ig, but that would be leaving out some of the hugest moments of my life (because we’re almost always a mess over here!) And I don’t want to post ONLY pics of me, or ONLY of the kids, or ONLY of hikes. I started ParentDaze with the intention of sharing all of myself, and not just the perfect moments, and not just one facet of my life. So, here is a little piece of our weekend, mask and all. It’s hectic sometimes, but I really think the organized chaos works for us, even though it isn’t always picture-perfect.

Daily Life

A much needed 3 day weekend

Posted on August 31, 2018

What are everyone’s plans for the 3 day weekend?! I’m so ready, you guys. This has been a really rough with the kids for me. Isabelle is at the age where she wants things but doesn’t know enough words so she’s constantly screaming and clawing at me because she’s upset I don’t know what she wants.

“Can you please get out of the car? It’s time to get out of the car. Let’s get out of the car now. Get out of the car, NOW. Okay I’m going to count to 3 and then I’m going to remove your body from the car.”

K has really struggled with listening this week too. Everything I ask her starts out like “Can you please get out of the car? It’s time to get out of the car. Let’s get out of the car now. Get out of the car, NOW. Okay I’m going to count to 3 and then I’m going to remove your body from the car.” *Tantrum of the century ensues*… And rinse and repeat for every thing I ask all day. I’m exhausted. I’m spent. Having one of those weeks I wish I could run away! I’m so ready for a 3 day weekend and for Jason to be able to help with the girls. What is everyone else doing this weekend? Any fun plans?

Daily Life

When You Realize Your Kids Are Just Like You…

Posted on August 16, 2018

The face you make while you decide if your floral arrangement is complete or not…. When I lived in Michigan, finding flowers in our yard to put into a vase was one of my favorite things to do in the summer. Some flowers only bloom for small windows of time, so it was extra special to clip some of those for an arrangement. Lilacs were always my favorite. It seemed like they only bloomed for a couple weeks, though it may have actually been longer.

Sometimes I catch myself trying to correct K on things I do myself and I can’t help but laugh.

K had a really good time wandering around the yard finding flowers to put into the vase. I think she even added in some shrubbery! It’s so bizarre when you see pieces of yourself in your kids. Personality-wise, I mean, (because looks-wise, they are all Jason!) Sometimes I catch myself trying to correct K on things I do myself and I can’t help but laugh. Yesterday I heard her getting upset while she was stacking some toys and they kept falling. I had to let her know that this is how gravity works, and there was nothing she could do to fight it. Some things will never balance on each other. It’s a fact of life.

Yesterday I heard her getting upset while she was stacking some toys and they kept falling. I had to let her know that this is how gravity works…

But then I thought about all the times I get mad at gravity. Does anyone else do this? You are carrying a stack of items you stacked poorly and they fall, or a dish falls off of the drying rack because you stacked it poorly? And you want to be mad, but it’s kind of your own fault (and also gravity’s fault, obviously! Not taking all the blame here!) Every once in a while I see these little pieces of myself, some are good and some are bad. But for the bad, I have to remind myself that I feel the same way! And I also remind myself that I can take the opportunity to reflect, and acknowledge how dumb it is to get mad at gravity. I don’t think it’s going anywhere.

Daily Life

Realizing how alike my kids are

Posted on July 18, 2018

When I got pregnant with Isabelle, everyone told me how siblings are so different from each other. It made me a little sad because I love Katie so much, how could I love her opposite? But also, I thought, maybe I wouldn’t mind a quiet baby who thumbs through books independently while I’m cooking dinner and doesn’t stomp through the living room like Godzilla (not pointing any fingers…)

I love Katie so much, how could I love her opposite?

In some ways, Isabelle is different. She likes to be held more, she sleeps when she’s tired no matter where she is, and she’s also a lot smaller so she can’t get into nearly as much stuff as K could at this age. (Throwback to the time K got into a reed diffuser and I had to call poison control.) But the similarities end there. Every day, Isabelle gets a little louder, a little more daring, and tries just a little harder to keep up with Katie.

Every day, Isabelle gets a little louder, a little more daring, and tries just a little harder to keep up with Katie.

Today she did her first “hike” on her own 2 feet. We took her on the quarter mile trail to see how she would do. (And see how much patience Mom had trying to keep her on the trail the whole time…) She thought she was the coolest! She loved chasing lizards and running after Katie, and of course trying to hang upside-down like Katie… (Any guesses on how old I’ll be before my first heart attack?…) Watching the girls have fun together was such a joy and I can’t wait until Isabelle is old enough to listen better and can all go on longer hikes. I’m so lucky to have 2 little ladies who love adventure as much as I do.

Daily Life

Katie is growing up

Posted on June 15, 2018

She’s such a young lady now! I can’t believe how much her language has exploded in the past 6 months and it’s really cute watching her try out new phrases. I assume she heard “that’s not fair” at school recently because she said it when she was having a hard time turning on her scooter yesterday. Apparently gravity is so unjust! Jason and I tried to explain to her what “fair” actually means, but she wasn’t interested at the time. She’ll get it…

Jason and I tried to explain to her what “fair” actually means, but she wasn’t interested at the time.

She’s also been seeking out conversations with kids her age and I love watching her initiate them. It’s usually something like “Hey, you guys are big kids. I’m a big kid too.” Then she asks their names or how old they are and tries to compliment them like, “Oh, your name is John? THAT’S SUPER COOL!” With oh-so-much enthusiasm.

I try to remember that with all the struggles we have raising a toddler, she’s also struggling trying to find her place in the world.

I try to remember that with all the struggles we have raising a toddler, she’s also struggling trying to find her place in the world. Everything is new to her and her developing language is opening up relationships for her in a new way. It’s pretty impressive when you think about it. But that doesn’t mean things have been easy lately. K is about 90% done with her naps and I’m trying to juggle work, watching both girls, keeping up the house, making dinner, etc.

It’s hard now that I’m missing the time she used to nap, and even harder because a non-napped toddler is not the most pleasant to be around come 6 o’clock.

It’s hard now that I’m missing the time she used to nap, and even harder because a non-napped toddler is not the most pleasant to be around come 6 o’clock. Like I want to lock myself in the bathroom with a bottle of wine. And my computer so I can squeeze in some work! We are headed to Michigan tomorrow morning so it will be a nice change of pace for all of us and we are super excited to see my Michigan family and friends! And there is nothing in the world like a Michigan summer! I guess I wasn’t really going anywhere with this post, just some rambling I needed to get off my chest. Wish us luck on the flight and with packing. We’ll be in the mitten soon!

Daily Life

Threenager Problems. Send help.

Posted on May 3, 2018

Okay friends, looking for all the advice right now because this little threenager has been… what’s a nicer word for horrible? Yeah… she’s been that. Typically things go in 2 week cycles around here. We’ll get a phase where she seems to be listening well, using her words, following directions, and I think to myself, maybe she’s just growing up! And then it’s like a flip switches overnight and I have a demon child. (Oops, I mean, a strong-willed child who struggles with listening…)

And then it’s throwing, hitting, stomping, shouting, being mean to her sister, all without pausing in between one bad thing to the next!

And then it’s throwing, hitting, stomping, shouting, being mean to her sister, all without pausing in between one bad thing to the next! I am exhausted. I have tried talking to her one on one when Isabelle isn’t around asking what’s going on and am only getting answers like “I hit her because I didn’t want her to hit me” or “because I wanted to be near her” or “because I wasn’t behaving.” Basically not getting answers. Isabelle is newly walking so maybe the extra attention she’s getting is making Katie jealous.

We are trying our best when Isabelle is awake, too, to split the attention, but Isabelle also needs attention

We have been trying to give K more one on one time and even been doing games just the three of us every night after Isabelle goes to bed. We are trying our best when Isabelle is awake, too, to split the attention, but Isabelle also needs attention. She’s excited about walking and looks at us all proud and I don’t want to feel like we can’t get excited for her because we’re scared it will set Katie off. That’s not fair either.

I’m seriously at my wit’s end.

I know any day now the cycle will switch again and we’ll be back to better days, but I need help in the mean time. I’m seriously at my wit’s end. I would like to get through this without having everything in our house broken, without Isabelle getting hurt, with my sanity, and preferably without any new wrinkles (is that last too much to ask?)

Daily Life

My Baby Girl is 3!!

Posted on March 29, 2018

My baby girl is 3! It seems like forever ago, and yet only yesterday, that we brought you home from the hospital. And we were TERRIFIED. What do we do with this tiny human?! We worried about everything! (Or I did, rather.) Is she getting enough milk? She’s been sleeping for too long, is she breathing? Is her poop supposed to look like this? (I can’t even count the amount of photos of baby poop I looked at…)

What do we do with this tiny human?!

I remember the colic days, and the guilt I had because I didn’t know how to help you. And then between 3 and 4 months the colic got better, and you started to develop more of a personality. Between 6 and 7 months you got your first 2 teeth, learned to crawl, sit up, and pull to stand all within a few weeks. And you let us know that your brain was BUSY! Those were rough nights for sleep!

You got your first 2 teeth, learned to crawl, sit up, and pull to stand all within a few weeks.

Your development sped up after that. Feeding yourself, walking, and then saying a few words like Mama, Dada, and Up. (And waffle shortly after that. Waffles are important, I get it.) By 18 months you were hiking short hikes with me and climbing out of your crib with ease (and we started to realize you were going to be a strong willed child!) I still remember the first time you said “I love you”, and I watch the video of it sometimes and smile!

By 18 months you were hiking short hikes with me and climbing out of your crib with ease

Right after you turned 2, Isabelle was born. It was a big adjustment for everybody. We still have trouble sharing attention sometimes, but you are the most amazing big sister to her. I love watching you two play together and seeing how much you love each other. Also around 2, you language exploded! You went from short phases to full thoughts and sentences almost overnight! One day you were saying “Boo please!” for Blue’s Clues, and the next it was “I want to watch Trolls. Not Christmas Trolls, I want to watch regular Trolls.”

You went from short phases to full thoughts and sentences almost overnight!

I can’t believe the amazing young lady you are turning into right before my eyes. I’m going to end here, because I am rambling and it’s getting hard to see through my tears, but I love you more than anything Katie Kay. You are so strong and powerful and I know you’re going to do great things. Never let that light inside you stop shining.

Daily Life

Nature or Nuture?

Posted on March 28, 2018

Nature or nurture? What do you think makes your littles the wonderful people they are (and maybe sometimes the not-so-wonderful people. Come on, we were all thinking it!) If you’re anything like me, you want to think it’s nuture (environment) when it comes to the good things. Katie loves fitness because we model the importance of taking care of your body, Katie loves books because we read to her so much, Katie’s good at building things because we play lego with her all the time.

What do you think makes your littles the wonderful people they are?

And then the bad things we want to believe are all nature (or genetics.) Katie is naturally stubborn (not our fault), Katie has trouble listening (must be in her genes), Katie has a hard time sitting still (blame genetics! Especially your significant other’s genetics. “She didn’t get that from me!”) In reality, it’s probably a mix of both, and then there’s also free will.

“She didn’t get that from me!”

No matter how we raise Katie, or what traits she was “born with”, she is still her own person. Sure, we can guide her, especially while she’s so young. But we can’t force her to be a certain way. Jason and I joke about how awkward it is to say “thank you” when people compliment your kids. I mean, we do it because it’s what’s socially accepted and we don’t want to look like jerks, but it is kind of bizarre when you think about it. “What beautiful children you have!” Or “She is so smart!” And you’re like “Oh thanks… we made them ourselves!”

We didn’t teach her to be pretty.

In all honesty, the only thing I really feel that we can take credit for is Katie’s good manners. We didn’t teach her to be pretty, we couldn’t force her to learn the alphabet before she was ready, and I know I am definitely not the reason she can do the monkey bars because I can’t even do them. But we sure as hell drilled please and thank you’s into her. And she has the best manners now. (Self high-five!) As for the rest, I guess we’ll never know what makes her the unique little lady that she is. One of life’s great mysteries.

Daily Life

On raising an independent toddler

Posted on January 16, 2018

“I do it MYSELF!” If only I had a nickel for every time I heard that phrase ?. In the case of chopsticks, my dear strong-willed not-yet-3-year-old, you cannot do it yourself. Not yet. But I won’t tell you that. You are welcome to try to use chopsticks as often as you want, so long as you don’t get to the point where you’re starving yourself. In other situations, however, I don’t always have the luxury of patience.

When we’re running 10 minutes late for school and you insist on trying to zip your own jacket, I’m going to have to intervene. (I did this same thing to my mom with buckling my own shoes when I was K’s age – raising a mini you is a pain in the ass sometimes ?.) But I want you to know, sweet daughter, that I am picking my battles and trying to let you learn as often as I can. Soon enough you will be a pro at using chopsticks, and anything else you set your mind to, and I can’t wait for you to prove me right.

Daily Life

K and the Stolen Hospital Gown

Posted on November 22, 2017

Today I am thankful for this little shopping partner, who gave me such a hard time at the dr’s today that we left with the gown. And then she insisted on wearing the gown with nothing under it for the rest of the day. So we went to Vons with her looking like an escaped mental patient and she helped me shop. Her big personality makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes, but then I look at things like this and just have to laugh.