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mom blog about honest motherhood

Daily Life

ParentDaze is 1 year old!

Posted on June 1, 2018

ParentDaze is 1 year old! This was the first photo I posted on IG and facebook, and it was also my first outing with both girls. I was 3 weeks post c-section and couldn’t lift K yet so all we could was walk and I had to keep both girls in the stroller the whole time. K still brought her pacifier EVERYWHERE and I lived in flip flops.

I was 3 weeks post c-section and couldn’t lift K yet so all we could was walk

I can’t believe how much I have grown since then. I remember being so scared about being a mom of 2 and now it’s like I have been doing it my whole life. I feel empowered! I have grown a lot as a writer as well. I started my ParentDaze blog as an outlet for my feelings, almost like a journal. I think I have really found my voice (and way less emojis ?. Why was I using so many in the beginning? ???)

I started my ParentDaze blog as an outlet for my feelings.

I am also branching out and writing more about myself and MY life, separate from the kids. When I started ParentDaze, it felt like my life WAS the kids. And it kind of was at the time. A 2 year old and a new baby are pretty consuming. But now I am gaining a little more independence back. I will still be sharing a lot about parenting, asking for advice, and speaking about our struggles, but I plan to branch out and do more lifestyle pieces too.

I am not my kids, and while being a mom is the most important job I’ve ever had, it does not define who I am.

I am also changing my profile photo on instagram today, to one of myself. Because I am not my kids, and while being a mom is the most important job I’ve ever had, it does not define who I am. I am really excited about the future of ParentDaze, and so grateful to everyone who has been supporting me all this time. My mom, my real life friends, and new IG and facebook friends within whom I have found an amazing support network. 

Daily Life

Toddler Power Struggles

Posted on May 31, 2018

Let’s talk toddler power struggles. Katie’s new thing is to wear 2 different shoes – which we are completely fine with. We try to let her make choices in her life whenever possible. I think we give her a fair amount of control for a toddler.

Lately we’ve been noticing Katie will ask for things and we aren’t even sure she wants anything

Lately we’ve been noticing Katie will ask for things and we aren’t even sure she wants anything – it’s like she just wants to see what we’ll give her. It usually goes something like, “I need water pleeeease!” (Of course in the whinest voice ever like she has been dying of thirst for 3 days.) So after we do the whole “How do you ask?” song and dance, we give her water.

Obviously we don’t want to deny her things she needs, but this game is getting kind of ridiculous.

Then it’s “I need milk!” “I need a snack!” “Can we watch something on tv?” “Can we go outside?” “Can we go home?” (She has literally asked me this while we are sitting on our couch AT HOME.) Obviously we don’t want to deny her things she needs, but this game is getting kind of ridiculous. It’s especially bad at bedtime, which is a whole separate stalling issue, I think. But the nonstop asking for things is driving me crazy. However, I’m not about to say no when my kid asks for water. Does anyone else’s kids do this? And how do you handle it?

Daily Life

Katie’s new 2 wheeled Razor Scooter!

Posted on May 16, 2018

She’s doing an awesome job on 2 wheels! We bought K her first Razor scooter a few months before she turned 2. It was the Folding Kiddie Kick Scooter (at bottom of page) and she LOVED it. She spent countless hours scooting up and down the bluff while Jason and I walked alongside her. Now that she is getting older, her balance has improved and she wants to go faster! The kiddie scooter is perfect for learning to turn and learning to balance, but it isn’t made to go that fast because it’s for kids.

We love that Razor scooters are small, portable, and foldable

This week, Razor Scooters sent us this new 2 wheeled scooter (the A3 Scooter – recommended for ages 5 and up) and Katie is taking off! She loves scooting because she can get out and be active while also learning and improving a skill. We love that Razor scooters are small, portable, and foldable (because we live in the city and space is at a premium!) And if she scoots somewhere, it’s easy to fold it up and put in the stroller while we play at the park, or carry it around a store while we shop. I would definitely recommend these scooters to moms of toddlers and young kids. They are fun, convenient, and the perfect level of challenging.

Daily Life

Happy 1st Birthday Isabelle!!

Posted on May 8, 2018

Happy 1st Birthday baby girl! I feel like your first year has gone by a thousand times faster than Katie’s (although I guess we have been twice as busy!) It has been such a joy watching your personality develop. It’s amazing that one year ago they were pulling you out of my belly and now you are walking around, pointing and shouting at things you want, and running over when Jason and I kiss because you are becoming a little person and you want to be included in everything!

One year ago they were pulling you out of my belly and now you are walking around, pointing and shouting at things you want.

My favorite thing is watching your relationship with Katie blossom. It makes me so happy to see the bond that you two share. It cracks me up when you are crying for something and I say no, and Katie sneaks it to you anyways. That’s what siblings are for! You are still the biggest eater I’ve ever seen and I hope you continue to be a foodie (because I love food too!)

Even though you’re tiny, I know you will be mighty.

You are already climbing up on our bed and the couch and I have a feeling you might be a climber like your sister (and I might have a heart attack before I turn 35.) You are still absolutely the sweetest baby. You are so snuggly and I love when you lie your head down on me and suck your thumb. Even though you’re tiny, I know you will be mighty. (I think you have to be having a big sis like Katie!) I can’t wait to see what the next year brings and continue to watch you grow and become your own person. Happy Birthday, IB!

Daily Life

1 Year Ago today…. 39 weeks pregnant with Isabelle

Posted on May 8, 2018

What a difference a year can make! Here I am 39 weeks pregnant with Isabelle! 1 year ago right around this time, I was having my c section. I remember driving there and being so full of worry. Partly about the surgery and recovery, but also about what a new baby would mean to our family. How could I love another baby as much as I love Katie? How would Katie feel about our new family member? Would my relationship with Katie change? Was I selfish for bringing another baby into our family and forcing Katie to split the attention? How on earth would I manage 2 kids?!

How could I love another baby as much as I love Katie? How would Katie feel about our new family member? Would my relationship with Katie change? 

It’s so funny looking back now. Even in the beginning, it felt partly like Isabelle was brand new, but also like she had always been a part of our family. Yes, the girls fight over toys sometimes and there are days where it seems like someone is always crying, but watching them roll around together laughing reminds me that having them was the best thing that has ever happened to me. The days can be long and hectic, but my heart is always full. And just as these worries from last year are gone, I try to remember my present worries are not so big that they won’t be gone this time next year too.

Daily Life ExploreLongBeach

Date Night at the Long Beach Aquarium Member’s Prom!

Posted on May 4, 2018

We had an amazing childless night at the Long Beach Aquarium Member’s Prom last night. It was Roaring 20s themed and I could not have asked for a better night. We had so much fun drinking and dancing, and actually got to look at the animals without having to chase our kids. And to top if off, we Postmated happy meals and sundaes from Mcdonalds after we got home and ate them on the couch! It’s nice to have some time alone to remind us why we fell in love. I woke up today feeling so lucky to have someone as wonderful as Jason. (And perhaps a tad like I had one too many beers . But mostly lucky.)

Long Beach Aquarium of the Pacific: http://www.aquariumofpacific.org/

 

Daily Life

Threenager Problems. Send help.

Posted on May 3, 2018

Okay friends, looking for all the advice right now because this little threenager has been… what’s a nicer word for horrible? Yeah… she’s been that. Typically things go in 2 week cycles around here. We’ll get a phase where she seems to be listening well, using her words, following directions, and I think to myself, maybe she’s just growing up! And then it’s like a flip switches overnight and I have a demon child. (Oops, I mean, a strong-willed child who struggles with listening…)

And then it’s throwing, hitting, stomping, shouting, being mean to her sister, all without pausing in between one bad thing to the next!

And then it’s throwing, hitting, stomping, shouting, being mean to her sister, all without pausing in between one bad thing to the next! I am exhausted. I have tried talking to her one on one when Isabelle isn’t around asking what’s going on and am only getting answers like “I hit her because I didn’t want her to hit me” or “because I wanted to be near her” or “because I wasn’t behaving.” Basically not getting answers. Isabelle is newly walking so maybe the extra attention she’s getting is making Katie jealous.

We are trying our best when Isabelle is awake, too, to split the attention, but Isabelle also needs attention

We have been trying to give K more one on one time and even been doing games just the three of us every night after Isabelle goes to bed. We are trying our best when Isabelle is awake, too, to split the attention, but Isabelle also needs attention. She’s excited about walking and looks at us all proud and I don’t want to feel like we can’t get excited for her because we’re scared it will set Katie off. That’s not fair either.

I’m seriously at my wit’s end.

I know any day now the cycle will switch again and we’ll be back to better days, but I need help in the mean time. I’m seriously at my wit’s end. I would like to get through this without having everything in our house broken, without Isabelle getting hurt, with my sanity, and preferably without any new wrinkles (is that last too much to ask?)

Daily Life

IB is walking. Sort of.

Posted on April 26, 2018

Okay, I’m calling it. We have a walker. But I’m putting it in the baby book with an asterisk because this adorable little face is the face of a faker. It all started last week when she started taking a few steps here and there. We figured she was still learning and wasn’t ready.

Earlier this week we saw her walk from the coffee table to the door (about 5-6 steps) when she thought no one was looking.

Then earlier this week we saw her walk from the coffee table to the door (about 5-6 steps) when she thought no one was looking. Later the same day, she walked over to me when I put on the carrier because she wanted to be picked up. But if I set her down on her feet and try to get her to walk to me, she sits down and cries. This continued several times throughout the week; she was taking several steps when no one was looking.

Then last night I saw her walk around the coffee table to the couch (about 12 steps)

Jason and I joked that she was waking up and night and walking around the apartment under the cover of darkness. Then last night I saw her walk around the coffee table to the couch (about 12 steps) and when I came in the room and busted her, she sat down!

She also still pretends she can’t hold her fruit pouches 

She also still pretends she can’t hold her fruit pouches and makes us hold them for her, and even though she had been standing unassisted for MONTHS now, she still only does it on her terms. If she has a toy or a sandwich, she will stand for several minutes while she plays or eats. If I try to stand her up on her feet, it’s like her legs are jello! Does anyone else’s kid do this?

Is it possible we are creating this fake helpless damsel in distress? 

Katie is the complete opposite. When she learns a song, she wants to sing it to us again, and again… and again. She wants to show us how she can open her own string cheese and tell us how she went potty on the potty (I mean, still? You’ve been doing this for months now. Do we have to throw a party for every single poop for the rest of your life?) Part of me wonders if this is a second child thing with Isabelle. We are always saying “be careful with the baby” and “she’s too little for that.” Is it possible we are creating this fake helpless damsel in distress? Is your kid(s) more “look what I can do” or “I can’t do it”? And who was firstborn and who is the baby if you have multiples?

Daily Life

A Story About Kindness

Posted on April 22, 2018

This is a story about kindness. There is a homeless man named Michael who we often see near our apartment. We met him about a year and a half ago when Katie climbed up on the bench he was sitting on and started talking to him. We chatted briefly and went on our way. We see him almost every day now. If I have snacks like granola bars I stop and give him one but if not, we still stop to chat for a minute.

There is a homeless man named Michael who we often see near our apartment.

When I was pregnant with Isabelle, I saw him every day when I jogged. He always cheered me on and asked how the pregnancy was going. Over the past year and a half I have seen him start working odd jobs in our area like landscaping and dog-walking. He is in cleaner clothes as of late and seems to be in better spirits.

He told her that three was a very special age and pulled his money out of his pocket.

We saw Michael today on our way back from the beach and the girls and I stopped to say hi. He asked Katie how old she was and she said three, and that it was just her birthday. He told her that three was a very special age and pulled his money out of his pocket. I saw some ones, a twenty, and a five dollar bill. He handed her the five and told her to put it in her piggy bank and save it for something special. I insisted she give it back over and over, but he refused to take it. You can only refuse a gift so many times before you become the rude one, so eventually I said okay and Katie thanked him.

I have a lot more than he does, and I don’t give back nearly as much as I could.

The fact that he gave Katie five dollars when he has so little brought tears to my eyes. It made me think, I can do better, too. I have a lot more than he does, and I don’t give back nearly as much as I could. I think we’ll put together some blessing bags this week and hand them out to some of the homeless population in our area. It’s usually something we do on Thanksgiving but there’s no reason why we can’t do it more often. We always have plenty of food in our house, and we are so fortunate for that. What’s something that happened in your life that made you realize how grateful you are for all the blessings in your life?

Daily Life

Gender Roles in the Home

Posted on April 13, 2018

Do you have traditional gender roles in your house? We are kind of mixed over here. I am the one who builds things and puts air in the tires, and I also cook and do the dishes. Jason cleans more often than I do (because he is way more efficient than I am), he works outside the home, and he handles all the computer/electronics problems (“Babe!! The internet is broke again!”) I shop for groceries and Jason usually shops for toiletries. Monday-Wed Jason wakes up with the girls and does breakfast and gets them dressed while I relax or work out, and then Thurs-Sun I get up with them so he can sleep in.

We don’t call anything “girl jobs” or “boy jobs” in our house

We don’t call anything “girl jobs” or “boy jobs” in our house, and I think the girls are really absorbing that from us. It makes me happy to see Katie play with tools AND help me cook AND play with dinosaurs AND pretend to feed her doll. I want my girls to know they can become doctors or firefighters or chefs or teachers. That they can be moms or not be moms. That they can do math and yoga and learn to weld and also to sew. That they are smart and courageous and worth more than their looks, but that it’s also okay if they love makeup and fashion. I want to raise strong women, and every day I try to show them that they can be anything they want to be.