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mom blog about honest motherhood

Daily Life

Having a Cohesive Instagram Feed

Posted on October 3, 2018

Do you have a cohesive instagram feed? When I first started grammin’, I remember seeing so many beautiful feeds with all-white photos or perfect smiles every time. And no disrespect to the people who can do that, because I’m jealous! I thought that in time, my feed would be a little more cohesive too.

I thought that in time, my feed would be a little more cohesive too

And don’t get me wrong, I absolutely have posed photos, especially the sponsored ones, and my photo quality has improved a lot since I first started ParentDaze. I pay more attention to backgrounds, and lighting, but I’ve also kind of accepted that my feed will never be 100% cohesive. It won’t only have a certain color scheme, and everyone won’t be looking at the camera every time. One reason is because my life just isn’t all that cohesive.

Sure, I could only post the “perfect” pics, but that would be leaving out some of the hugest moments of my life.

I told K to get ready for brunch last weekend and she put on a cape and mask (upsidedown, obviously.) Sure, I could only post the “perfect” pics on ig, but that would be leaving out some of the hugest moments of my life (because we’re almost always a mess over here!) And I don’t want to post ONLY pics of me, or ONLY of the kids, or ONLY of hikes. I started ParentDaze with the intention of sharing all of myself, and not just the perfect moments, and not just one facet of my life. So, here is a little piece of our weekend, mask and all. It’s hectic sometimes, but I really think the organized chaos works for us, even though it isn’t always picture-perfect.

Daily Life

The “Watch Me” phase…

Posted on September 7, 2018

Cooler weather this week meant we got some time to connect with nature. We really needed it! We all had kind of a difficult week again this week. Isabelle is teething and hasn’t been sleeping well, which means no one is sleeping well. K is in a new “Look at this! Watch me!” phase which has made it tough for me to get things done.

K is in a new “Look at this! Watch me!” phase.

On one hand, the mom guilt is real! If I don’t watch one time, will she need therapy for the rest of her life?! I can already picture it… “ONE TIME my mom couldn’t watch me stand on one foot, for the millionth time!” (Okay, so maybe not need therapy, but you know what I mean. I don’t want to ruin her self-esteem!) On the other hand, I have certain things I need to do. Eat, make my work deadlines, pick up enough that we aren’t living like hoarders… It’s hard to find a balance.

Eat, make my work deadlines, pick up enough that we aren’t living like hoarders…

I feel like the “Watch me” phase is almost a regression. K was doing well playing independently for part of the day so I could get things done, and now it’s back to only getting things done during quiet time (formerly nap time for K) and bed time, and I’m feeling spread really thin. As soon as the kids go to their beds, it’s like a mad dash to do everything. And what do you do and what do you give up?

What do you do and what do you give up?

Work deadlines are obviously a priority, picking up a little bit is necessary, now do I choose shower or eat or laundry? Because I can’t do them all! I know it’s just a phase that will pass, and I know I can say “Mommy’s busy” some of the time, but does anyone else have advice? How do you get through this phase without losing your mind or damaging your child?

Daily Life

World Breastfeeding Week

Posted on August 8, 2018

I planned on taking a cute photo of Isabelle and I alone for World Breastfeeding Week… Of course, nothing ever goes as planned with 2 littles, but this is a more accurate representation of my current breastfeeding situation. I am proud to say that this week marks 28 months of exclusive breastfeeding between Katie and Isabelle. I am especially proud considering that when I was pregnant with Katie, I didn’t plan on breastfeeding at all. I said that I would at least try it, and I’m so glad I did.

This week marks 28 months of exclusive breastfeeding between Katie and Isabelle.

It hasn’t been without challenges. The beginning with both girls was incredibly painful and difficult. I had problems pumping, and it’s a lot of pressure when you are the sole provider of sustenance for your baby. When they are fussy you feel responsible. Was it something I ate? Am I producing enough milk? You also worry about keeping your supply up when you are away from your baby.

When they are fussy you feel responsible. Was it something I ate? Am I producing enough milk?

When Jason and I hiked San Jacinto, I was away from Isabelle for over 24 hours so I had to take breaks to hand express behind trees! But you do what you gotta do! It’s been a long journey filled with stress, reward, wonderful bonding, and sometimes tears. Happy World Breastfeeding Week to all the nursing mamas out there. If you are just starting out, know that every day gets a little easier! Here is a link to one of the first blog posts I wrote – 11 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Breastfeeding

11 things I wish someone had told me about breastfeeding

Daily Life

Isabelle is becoming her own person

Posted on August 1, 2018

This little lady is getting such a big personality and and even bigger attitude. She’s at the age where she wants things but doesn’t know enough words to articulate herself so she screams at the top of her lungs when she doesn’t get what she wants. I remember K doing the same thing around this age and it lasted over a year. We’re crossing our fingers IB will outgrow it sooner than that!

She doesn’t know enough words to articulate herself so she screams at the top of her lungs when she doesn’t get what she wants.

Isabelle also has the confidence of an Olympian lately, but isn’t that steady on her feet yet. Her constant climbing means lots of bumps and bruises. I think her short stature is giving her a complex. She wants to keep up with Katie so bad but she’s tiny! She wants to ride the scooter but her legs are too short to push, she wants to grab things off the counters but she’s way too short to reach them, and lately she wants to sit at the table and not in the high chair but she isn’t tall enough to reach her food! The struggle!

She wants to ride the scooter but her legs are too short to push, she wants to grab things off the counters but she’s way too short to reach them…

But watching her at this age is so much fun. She is so inquisitive and I love seeing how proud of herself she is when she learns new things. Oh, how I wish I could freeze her at this age!

Daily Life

Who does a chore/behavior chart?

Posted on July 27, 2018

Let’s talk chore/behavior/sticker charts. Who does them and how do you do yours? Katie is almost 3.5 so we want something that makes sense to her. What rewards does everyone use? Toys? Money? I think that K knows she’s supposed to like money, although I don’t think she completely understands its value.

What rewards does everyone use? Toys? Money?

And how often for rewards? It would be weird to tell K she doesn’t get her reward Friday for something she did on Monday, but I also don’t want to be giving her a reward every day. And then what behaviors or chores do you use? We want enough that it will improve her behavior like listening, going to bed when it’s bed time, picking up toys, etc., but just saying “listening” is so vague. Does it mean listening to everything every single time? Because that seems like a recipe for failure.

Just saying “listening” is so vague. Does it mean listening to everything every single time?

I need suggestions! Interested to hear how everyone else is doing this, what worked and didn’t work, and if you noticed an improvement in behavior because of it.

Daily Life

Realizing how alike my kids are

Posted on July 18, 2018

When I got pregnant with Isabelle, everyone told me how siblings are so different from each other. It made me a little sad because I love Katie so much, how could I love her opposite? But also, I thought, maybe I wouldn’t mind a quiet baby who thumbs through books independently while I’m cooking dinner and doesn’t stomp through the living room like Godzilla (not pointing any fingers…)

I love Katie so much, how could I love her opposite?

In some ways, Isabelle is different. She likes to be held more, she sleeps when she’s tired no matter where she is, and she’s also a lot smaller so she can’t get into nearly as much stuff as K could at this age. (Throwback to the time K got into a reed diffuser and I had to call poison control.) But the similarities end there. Every day, Isabelle gets a little louder, a little more daring, and tries just a little harder to keep up with Katie.

Every day, Isabelle gets a little louder, a little more daring, and tries just a little harder to keep up with Katie.

Today she did her first “hike” on her own 2 feet. We took her on the quarter mile trail to see how she would do. (And see how much patience Mom had trying to keep her on the trail the whole time…) She thought she was the coolest! She loved chasing lizards and running after Katie, and of course trying to hang upside-down like Katie… (Any guesses on how old I’ll be before my first heart attack?…) Watching the girls have fun together was such a joy and I can’t wait until Isabelle is old enough to listen better and can all go on longer hikes. I’m so lucky to have 2 little ladies who love adventure as much as I do.

Daily Life

Hip Dysplasia Awareness month

Posted on June 29, 2018

Did you know that June is Hip Dysplasia Awareness month? And did you know that risk factors for having a baby with hip dysplasia are: 1st pregnancy, genetics, breech presentation, or having a girl? When I found out Isabelle was breech, all I knew is she would be a c-section. I worried about her safety and my recovery from the surgery. It was not until AFTER she was born that the doctors told me she was at risk for hip dysplasia and needed to do a hip ultrasound. (If you want to follow our whole hip dysplasia journey, check out the hashtag #freeiblegs on instagram.)

It was not until AFTER she was born that the doctors told me she was at risk for hip dysplasia and needed to do a hip ultrasound.

We got our ultrasound at 5 weeks, went to the orthopaedic doctor later that week, and imagine our surprise when we left with Isabelle in a pavlik harness (see below.) I felt awful for Isabelle. I think I was more upset than she was. It looked so restrictive. I was sad we couldn’t take it off for diaper changes or baths and she felt so much less snuggly. She actually adjusted to it really well though. She wore it full time for 6 weeks, then 16 hours/day for 3 weeks, then 8 hours/day for 3 weeks. It seemed like eternity at the time, but now it seems like it was just a blink.

I was sad we couldn’t take it off for diaper changes or baths and she felt so much less snuggly.

Once it was off, we had to wait to see if she would need further treatment. It felt horrible to not be able to do anything during that time. The next possible steps would have been a body cast or surgery. I tried to remind myself how well she adjusted to her harness, and that a body cast wouldn’t be the end of the world. I really didn’t want her to need surgery though. Luckily for us, after much waiting and several more xrays, she needed neither. Despite the time she spent in the harness, she still pulled to stand at 5.5 months, crawled at 8, and walked at 11.5.

The doctors say she still has mild hip dysplasia in her right hip but because we caught it early and treated it, she would live a normal life.

The doctors say she still has mild hip dysplasia in her right hip but because we caught it early and treated it, she would live a normal life. When it is not caught early, surgery may be the only option. I encourage all moms with breech pregnancies to ask their doctors about hip dysplasia. If mine hadn’t told me about it, we would never have known.

Daily Life

Katie is growing up

Posted on June 15, 2018

She’s such a young lady now! I can’t believe how much her language has exploded in the past 6 months and it’s really cute watching her try out new phrases. I assume she heard “that’s not fair” at school recently because she said it when she was having a hard time turning on her scooter yesterday. Apparently gravity is so unjust! Jason and I tried to explain to her what “fair” actually means, but she wasn’t interested at the time. She’ll get it…

Jason and I tried to explain to her what “fair” actually means, but she wasn’t interested at the time.

She’s also been seeking out conversations with kids her age and I love watching her initiate them. It’s usually something like “Hey, you guys are big kids. I’m a big kid too.” Then she asks their names or how old they are and tries to compliment them like, “Oh, your name is John? THAT’S SUPER COOL!” With oh-so-much enthusiasm.

I try to remember that with all the struggles we have raising a toddler, she’s also struggling trying to find her place in the world.

I try to remember that with all the struggles we have raising a toddler, she’s also struggling trying to find her place in the world. Everything is new to her and her developing language is opening up relationships for her in a new way. It’s pretty impressive when you think about it. But that doesn’t mean things have been easy lately. K is about 90% done with her naps and I’m trying to juggle work, watching both girls, keeping up the house, making dinner, etc.

It’s hard now that I’m missing the time she used to nap, and even harder because a non-napped toddler is not the most pleasant to be around come 6 o’clock.

It’s hard now that I’m missing the time she used to nap, and even harder because a non-napped toddler is not the most pleasant to be around come 6 o’clock. Like I want to lock myself in the bathroom with a bottle of wine. And my computer so I can squeeze in some work! We are headed to Michigan tomorrow morning so it will be a nice change of pace for all of us and we are super excited to see my Michigan family and friends! And there is nothing in the world like a Michigan summer! I guess I wasn’t really going anywhere with this post, just some rambling I needed to get off my chest. Wish us luck on the flight and with packing. We’ll be in the mitten soon!

Daily Life

My Stage 5 Clinger

Posted on June 6, 2018

My sweet baby girl! It’s a beautiful burden having such an attached baby. We laugh because we had to put up the baby gate the minute Katie started crawling and we left it up until she was 18 months old. We have never put the baby gate up for Isabelle because she is never not touching me. Some days it drives me crazy. When I’m using the bathroom, when I’m trying to put on my shoes, when I’m trying to do literally anything that requires body autonomy…

When I’m using the bathroom, when I’m trying to put on my shoes, when I’m trying to do literally anything that requires body autonomy…

And it doesn’t make for an enjoyable start to the day when you’re trying to pack your kids’ lunches so you can go somewhere fun and there’s a baby screaming at your feet and tugging on your pants because you had to set them down for 5 minutes. There are times Jason holds her so I can have a break and she stares at me and cries the whole time. Does not feel like a break.

It’s sweet, it’s exhausting. Some days I want to melt, some days I want to pull my hair out.

But she’s also the snuggliest baby I’ve ever met. On the rare occasions she does walk away to play on her own, she comes back every couple minutes to climb up on my lap, lie her head on my chest, and suck her thumb for a minute before getting back down to play. (And rinse and repeat every 3 minutes until she’s done playing…) She is constantly bringing me books and curling up next to me so I can read to her and she holds on so tight when I carry her. It’s sweet, it’s exhausting. Some days I want to melt, some days I want to pull my hair out. I know it won’t last forever, but it’s definitely a different experience than when K was a baby. It’s funny how different siblings can be.

Daily Life

Doing some redecorating! New Ameriwood Home bookshelf!

Posted on June 4, 2018

Isabelle is a year old now and I’m starting to look around the apartment and realize what a mess I’ve let it become since she was born! Having a newborn is such a busy time and all you care about it is keeping the baby alive and getting some sleep (or thinking about sleep… or hoping you’ll sleep again some day…)

Having a newborn is such a busy time and all you care about it is keeping the baby alive and getting some sleep

I am getting to the point where I want a little more organization in my life, and it was time for a few furniture upgrades. (We have literally had our couch for 6 years and we got it from an apartment we rented after someone left it there. This couch has seen it all!)

Luckily a bookshelf is good for both organization and a nice way to upgrade the look of our space! We live in an apartment so storage is at a premium and when you don’t have places to put things away, they end up in piles. And piles look yucky.

I want a little more organization in my life, and it was time for a few furniture upgrades.

I received this bookshelf for free from Ameriwood Home for my honest review and it was exactly what we needed for our apartment. It came right to our door, it was easy to put together with 2 people, and it was much nicer quality than other assemble-yourself furniture we’ve seen. They actually have all different types of furniture, from cribs to cabinets to tv stands with built-in fireplaces.

This Ameriwood Home bookshelf came right to our door, it was easy to put together with 2 people, and it was much nicer quality than other assemble-yourself furniture we’ve seen.

The bookshelf I chose is the Wildwood Wood Veneer Bookcase in Espresso, linked here. It’s made really well and I especially like the metal X’s on the sides. I think they give it a really unique look, and you would never guess we assembled it ourselves! It also came with a bracket to mount it so the kids can’t tip it over. I would definitely recommend Ameriwood Home to anyone wanting to do some redecorating. We are actually already looking at those tv stands with the fireplaces for when the weather cools down!

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