mental health stay at home mom Archives

Daily Life

Feeling really overwhelmed lately

Posted on January 20, 2018

Taking a much needed poke bowl break (and apparently Belles likes her poke with a side of puffs

.) Seriously though, I love eating with Belles because it’s one of the few times I feel like I can relax around her (other than when she’s sleeping) because I know the only thing she’s putting in her mouth is food! I remembered that newborns are hard but somehow forgot that having a mobile baby is a full-time job because everything goes in their mouths!

Yes, she’s adorable and I love spending the day with her but it’s also exhausting following her around making sure she doesn’t find a carpet fiber or a penny or small toy that K left out. No matter how much you vacuum, or how much you baby-proof, they always find something! And even though it isn’t work per se, the fact that you can’t take your eyes off of them can be draining sometimes. And watching the baby every waking moment means EVERY other thing can only be done when baby naps.

So cleaning, laundry, dishes, dinner prep, shower, relaxing (HA! What’s that?), it all has to be squeezed into a couple hours! And if I recall correctly, this phase lasts oh, about a year

. I know in a couple months it will improve (and maybe she’ll only put 50% of the objects she finds in her mouth), but in the mean time it’s tough. I know, I know, cleaning can wait, sheets can be washed a little less frequently, and yes, these moments are fleeting. I just needed to rant a little today. But it’s also Friday so help will be here soon in the form of Daddy

. And it’s almost beer-o’clock

? So, #breatheandrelease

Opinion Pieces

I Have a Pity Party Twice a Month, and it’s Awesome

Posted on November 17, 2017

I LOVE being a mom. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I literally wake up *most* days and think of how I can’t wait to spend the day with my girls. Every day is a new adventure. Should we go somewhere? A hike? The park? The beach? Should we paint or do an obstacle course? The possibilities are endless. I am so fortunate that I am able to stay home with them and enrich their lives and watch them grow.

I literally wake up *most* days and think of how I can’t wait to spend the day with my girls.

Up bright and early with the girls

But it’s hard to raise children. You are always “on”. I sometimes describe it to childless people as similar to being in a service position like a waiter, but every moment of every day and never getting a break. You are always around someone, you are asked countless questions, you need to be polite and respectful. It can be emotionally draining some days.

It can be emotionally draining some days.

Add on top of that cleaning a hundred messes a day, cooking dinner, doing the shopping and other errands, and for me, working from home. It can definitely be overwhelming sometimes.

I can always tell when I’m starting to feel tapped out because I just wake up in a negative mood.

I can always tell when I’m starting to feel tapped out because I just wake up in a negative mood. My adorable alarm clock wakes up at 615, as usual, in her hippo jammies, and instead of feeling excited, I wonder WHY IT’S SO EARLY. When I do my work I notice myself grumbling about how unfair life is for moms. We either have to leave our kids and miss out on that time with them, stay home and give up our careers, or work from home and give up every spare moment we could be cooking/cleaning/resting to work, not to mention sometimes having to tell our kids “No, I can’t read to you right now, I’m working.”

I know no one wants to hear me complain.

I know some of you are rolling your eyes right now. This is why I throw MYSELF a pity party; I know no one wants to hear me complain. My life is pretty great. But that doesn’t mean I don’t need a mental health day every once in a while (or in my case, a couple mental health hours, because moms don’t get days off.)

I don’t clean, I don’t meal prep, I don’t work, and I don’t exercise.

Trying to work, eat, and feed Isabelle between her naps

So, on these negative days, I power through the morning, I do my momming, and I try to remain as positive as possible. And then when the girls nap, it’s “me” time. I don’t clean, I don’t meal prep, I don’t work, and I don’t exercise. Instead, I eat doughnuts and corn nuts and I have a beer (I know, gasp!) and watch a funny movie. Sometimes I cry too, if I need to, about how hard it is to be a mom, and how unfair life can be (#firstworldproblems)…

Sometimes I cry too, if I need to.

And when the girls wake up from their naps, I feel refreshed and engaged and am grateful for the time I get to spend with them. And the next morning when my alarm clock wakes me up at 615 shouting “UP! UP!” I smile and make my coffee and get ready for the day.

They say you can’t pour from an empty cup. Apparently my cup needs to be refilled with doughnuts and beer from time to time.