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honest mom blog

Opinion Pieces

Should You Make Time for Fitness?

Posted on October 14, 2018

Did you come here expecting me to say yes? I’m not going to.

A lot of people will tell you making time for fitness is “easy” if it’s important to you.  I call bullshit – sort of.  Allow me to elaborate:

A lot of people will tell you making time for fitness is “easy” if it’s important to you.  I call bullshit – sort of.  Allow me to elaborate:

“Making time” for anything is exactly that: MAKING TIME.  It would be nice if we all had unlimited time, but alas, that is not the case.  If you want to find time for one activity, that means borrowing it from another activity.

I should mention that I’m not here to debate whether or not exercise is good for you, I think we can all agree that it is. But should you bend over backwards making time to fit it into your life?  Only you can answer that.

If you want to find time for one activity, that means borrowing it from another activity.

Running a 10K on Thanksgiving

Let’s get started with what YOU do.  Maybe you work, maybe you take care of kids, maybe you do both.  These duties are non-negotiable.  Work has deadlines, and I assume you want to keep your kids alive.

So, what else do you do?  Maybe you are responsible for the cleaning in your house, making meals for yourself and others, doing laundry, or picking up after your family.  Then there are “luxuries” we all want to enjoy such as showering, eating full meals, (can you tell I’m a mom?) and having a moment to unwind by watching tv or reading a book.

Then there are “luxuries” we all want to enjoy such as showering and eating full meals (can you tell I’m a mom?)

Now let me jump to why I make time for fitness.  When I work out, especially when I do cardio, it makes me a better mom.  I have more patience to deal with my kids, I have less anxiety, and my body feels better. 

However, making time for fitness comes at a cost.  Some days I don’t have time to make dinner, or I might have to skip washing the sheets and towels one week. Maybe I skip vacuuming and that means I’m wading through Cheerios to get across my apartment – kidding, sort of…

Making time for fitness comes at a cost.

Are these the types of things you want to give up?  I can’t answer that for you.  Maybe sleeping on dirty sheets gives you insomnia because you’re so grossed out. Maybe not picking up the kid’s toys every day gives you panic attacks because there’s too much clutter.  Does this sound healthy to you?

You are the only person who can evaluate how different activities positively or negatively impact your life.

You are the only person who can evaluate how different activities positively or negatively impact your life.

Maybe you are able to move some things around in your schedule and start a new fitness regimen right now, maybe you’ll do it when the kids are older, or maybe when you retire.  Whatever the case, don’t beat yourself up too much if you are in a fitness slump. 

Be your own advocate 

While I do sincerely hope each of you eventually finds a fitness regimen you love that fits in your schedule perfectly, I’m not going to preach to those of you who haven’t yet.  And I definitely won’t say it’s “easy.”  Be your own advocate and choose a path that makes you your best self.  There is no one-size-fits-all for the perfect life.

Daily Life

A much needed 3 day weekend

Posted on August 31, 2018

What are everyone’s plans for the 3 day weekend?! I’m so ready, you guys. This has been a really rough with the kids for me. Isabelle is at the age where she wants things but doesn’t know enough words so she’s constantly screaming and clawing at me because she’s upset I don’t know what she wants.

“Can you please get out of the car? It’s time to get out of the car. Let’s get out of the car now. Get out of the car, NOW. Okay I’m going to count to 3 and then I’m going to remove your body from the car.” 

K has really struggled with listening this week too. Everything I ask her starts out like “Can you please get out of the car? It’s time to get out of the car. Let’s get out of the car now. Get out of the car, NOW. Okay I’m going to count to 3 and then I’m going to remove your body from the car.” *Tantrum of the century ensues*… And rinse and repeat for every thing I ask all day. I’m exhausted. I’m spent. Having one of those weeks I wish I could run away! I’m so ready for a 3 day weekend and for Jason to be able to help with the girls. What is everyone else doing this weekend? Any fun plans?

Daily Life

Pagl Cubes Construction Set

Posted on August 29, 2018

Where to even begin with these amazing Pagl Cubes?! The biggest thing for me is that storage is easy! As much as I love living in sunny Southern California, it means we have a smaller living space and have never been able to have large toys before! These cubes come in a box small enough to fit in the closet (65x45cm) and they come “unassembled” – think an open egg carton. Assembling is super easy – think a closed egg carton – and then you can start stacking!

These cubes come in a box small enough to fit in the closet (65x45cm) and they come “unassembled” – think an open egg carton. Assembling is super easy – think a closed egg carton.

My 3 year old had no problems assembling them by herself and figuring out how to build with them. The cubes fit into each other so they are sturdier when stacked. When you are done playing with them, you can open the cubes, re-stack in the open position, and store them for later! The cubes are made out of 100% eco-friendly and safe materials. There is zero plastic waste and they are so non-toxic that your kid could take a bite (I think Isabelle may have!)

The cubes are made out of 100% eco-friendly and safe materials. There is zero plastic waste and they are non-toxic.

We loved the add-ons like the roof, door, and window so we could build a house together (even though K cubed in the window – her architect skills are a work in progress!) The box comes with 111 cubes so there is a ton to work with. This would be a perfect Christmas gift for any toddler or kid (And it’s almost September so Christmas is coming!!) Shop here!

Daily Life

When You Realize Your Kids Are Just Like You…

Posted on August 16, 2018

The face you make while you decide if your floral arrangement is complete or not…. When I lived in Michigan, finding flowers in our yard to put into a vase was one of my favorite things to do in the summer. Some flowers only bloom for small windows of time, so it was extra special to clip some of those for an arrangement. Lilacs were always my favorite. It seemed like they only bloomed for a couple weeks, though it may have actually been longer.

 Sometimes I catch myself trying to correct K on things I do myself and I can’t help but laugh. 

K had a really good time wandering around the yard finding flowers to put into the vase. I think she even added in some shrubbery! It’s so bizarre when you see pieces of yourself in your kids. Personality-wise, I mean, (because looks-wise, they are all Jason!) Sometimes I catch myself trying to correct K on things I do myself and I can’t help but laugh. Yesterday I heard her getting upset while she was stacking some toys and they kept falling. I had to let her know that this is how gravity works, and there was nothing she could do to fight it. Some things will never balance on each other. It’s a fact of life.

Yesterday I heard her getting upset while she was stacking some toys and they kept falling. I had to let her know that this is how gravity works…

But then I thought about all the times I get mad at gravity.  Does anyone else do this? You are carrying a stack of items you stacked poorly and they fall, or a dish falls off of the drying rack because you stacked it poorly? And you want to be mad, but it’s kind of your own fault (and also gravity’s fault, obviously! Not taking all the blame here!) Every once in a while I see these little pieces of myself, some are good and some are bad. But for the bad, I have to remind myself that I feel the same way! And I also remind myself that I can take the opportunity to reflect, and acknowledge how dumb it is to get mad at gravity. I don’t think it’s going anywhere.

Daily Life

My Red Carpet Facial with Olga Lorencin

Posted on August 13, 2018

This past weekend, I had the honor of getting the famous Red Carpet Facial with Olga Lorencin.  I had heard of her Red Carpet Facial in a Box that all the celebs use, but I was especially excited to get this facial from Olga herself, in person.

I had heard of her Red Carpet Facial in a Box that all the celebs use (and if you use code PARENTDAZE you can get 20% off!!)

The first thing I noticed is that Olga looks amazing!  She told me she had been doing facials for 30 years, but she doesn’t look old enough to have been working that long.  Definitely a good sign for someone I’m about to trust with my skin.  Her salon was gorgeous and situated adjacent to Rodeo Drive.  And I was offered orange-infused water.  I felt fancy just walking in there.

I felt fancy just walking in there.  

Chatting with Olga was like visiting a long-lost friend.  It’s always a little awkward going to a new spa for the first time.  What if you don’t vibe well?  Will the conversation be awkward?  This was not the case at all.  Olga was warm and welcoming.

She also noticed things about my skin immediately.  She was like the skin-whisperer.  She could tell by touching my face that I grind my teeth, and also said that overall my skin was pretty good.  She advised me to not use scrubs on my face because they weren’t a good fit for my skin type.  (Who knew?! I had been using scrubs for a while!)

Olga was like the skin-whisperer

The facial itself was such a great experience.  I think Olga probably applied 15 different products, one at a time.  She rubbed them into my face, neck, and chest, and put something on my hands as well.  The whole process took maybe an hour.  It was relaxing, it was oh-so-fancy, and oh yes – one step had a bit of a sting, but only for about 30 seconds.

Olga told me that skin is like an onion.  You have the rough patches on the outside, but underneath is new, fresh skin.  You cannot take a short cut to get to that fresh skin, so when you do these facials, a little bit peels off each time.  After a few weeks of regular use, you will have brighter and more youthful looking skin.

Olga told me that skin is like an onion.  You have the rough patches on the outside, but underneath is new, fresh skin.

When the facial was over, Olga sent me home with a cleanser, toner, moisturizer, and eye cream.  Watching her walk through her inventory was like watching Gordon Ramsay in the kitchen.  “This cleanser, not that toner, let’s do this toner.  And this eye cream, and use around the eyes and lips twice a day.”  She also sent me home with the Red Carpet Facial in a Box to use twice a week to start, and then once a week after that.  (And I’ll obviously be hiding it from my boyfriend who loves to use my skin care products but doesn’t have a single wrinkle or any sign of sun damage.  So jealous!)

If you are local, I would definitely advise getting the Red Carpet Facial from Olga.  But if you are not, check out the Red Carpet Facial in a Box.  The cost is $109 but it has 14-16 treatments in it.   It’s a great value for such an amazing product AND if you use code PARENTDAZE, you will get 20% off.   (Seriously, google it.  The reviews are amazing and it will have you glowing!)

ExploreLongBeach

Long Beach Aquarium of the Pacific

Posted on July 15, 2018

Our aquarium visit was: 20% looking at aquatic life, 40% playing outside in the water, 10% crying because the other sibling was being lifted up to look at an exhibit, 10% whining about the heat, 10% bumping into the stroller and spilling Mom’s beer, and 10% eating snacks, but overall, the kids had a blast.

Penguins, sea lions, frogs, all types of fish, sharks, and rays

The Long Beach Aquarium of the Pacific is one of our favorite outings because there is so much to do for all ages.  There is obviously a ton of aquatic life.  Penguins, sea lions, frogs, all types of fish, sharks, and rays.  There are touch tanks for sea anemones, starfish, stingrays, sharks and jellyfish.  There is a lorikeet forest where you can purchase nectar and the birds will land on you to eat it.

There are puppet shows, animal feeding and training shows, and also short movies

In addition to the exhibits, there is so much more to do.  There is a shaded area with tables that has coloring pages and crayons for kids.  There is a really cool splash pad outside that is half shaded and half in the sun that my kids love.  Some days we go and all they do is play in the water.  There’s a boat that is perfect for climbing and a few other animal models to climb on.  There are puppet shows, animal feeding and training shows, and also short movies (for a small additional fee.)  And there’s also beer for adults!

We have an annual pass and we go at least once a week and never get bored. 

We have an annual pass and we go at least once a week and never get bored.  I would definitely recommend visiting if you are local to Southern California, and purchasing a pass if you plan to go at least twice a year.

Daily Life

Toddler Power Struggles

Posted on May 31, 2018

Let’s talk toddler power struggles. Katie’s new thing is to wear 2 different shoes – which we are completely fine with. We try to let her make choices in her life whenever possible. I think we give her a fair amount of control for a toddler.

Lately we’ve been noticing Katie will ask for things and we aren’t even sure she wants anything

Lately we’ve been noticing Katie will ask for things and we aren’t even sure she wants anything – it’s like she just wants to see what we’ll give her. It usually goes something like, “I need water pleeeease!” (Of course in the whinest voice ever like she has been dying of thirst for 3 days.) So after we do the whole “How do you ask?” song and dance, we give her water.

Obviously we don’t want to deny her things she needs, but this game is getting kind of ridiculous.

Then it’s “I need milk!” “I need a snack!” “Can we watch something on tv?” “Can we go outside?” “Can we go home?” (She has literally asked me this while we are sitting on our couch AT HOME.) Obviously we don’t want to deny her things she needs, but this game is getting kind of ridiculous. It’s especially bad at bedtime, which is a whole separate stalling issue, I think. But the nonstop asking for things is driving me crazy. However, I’m not about to say no when my kid asks for water. Does anyone else’s kids do this? And how do you handle it?

Daily Life

Threenager Problems. Send help.

Posted on May 3, 2018

Okay friends, looking for all the advice right now because this little threenager has been… what’s a nicer word for horrible? Yeah… she’s been that. Typically things go in 2 week cycles around here. We’ll get a phase where she seems to be listening well, using her words, following directions, and I think to myself, maybe she’s just growing up! And then it’s like a flip switches overnight and I have a demon child. (Oops, I mean, a strong-willed child who struggles with listening…)

And then it’s throwing, hitting, stomping, shouting, being mean to her sister, all without pausing in between one bad thing to the next!

And then it’s throwing, hitting, stomping, shouting, being mean to her sister, all without pausing in between one bad thing to the next! I am exhausted. I have tried talking to her one on one when Isabelle isn’t around asking what’s going on and am only getting answers like “I hit her because I didn’t want her to hit me” or “because I wanted to be near her” or “because I wasn’t behaving.” Basically not getting answers. Isabelle is newly walking so maybe the extra attention she’s getting is making Katie jealous.

We are trying our best when Isabelle is awake, too, to split the attention, but Isabelle also needs attention

We have been trying to give K more one on one time and even been doing games just the three of us every night after Isabelle goes to bed. We are trying our best when Isabelle is awake, too, to split the attention, but Isabelle also needs attention. She’s excited about walking and looks at us all proud and I don’t want to feel like we can’t get excited for her because we’re scared it will set Katie off. That’s not fair either.

I’m seriously at my wit’s end.

I know any day now the cycle will switch again and we’ll be back to better days, but I need help in the mean time. I’m seriously at my wit’s end. I would like to get through this without having everything in our house broken, without Isabelle getting hurt, with my sanity, and preferably without any new wrinkles (is that last too much to ask?)

Daily Life

A Story About Kindness

Posted on April 22, 2018

This is a story about kindness. There is a homeless man named Michael who we often see near our apartment. We met him about a year and a half ago when Katie climbed up on the bench he was sitting on and started talking to him. We chatted briefly and went on our way. We see him almost every day now. If I have snacks like granola bars I stop and give him one but if not, we still stop to chat for a minute.

There is a homeless man named Michael who we often see near our apartment.

When I was pregnant with Isabelle, I saw him every day when I jogged. He always cheered me on and asked how the pregnancy was going. Over the past year and a half I have seen him start working odd jobs in our area like landscaping and dog-walking. He is in cleaner clothes as of late and seems to be in better spirits.

He told her that three was a very special age and pulled his money out of his pocket.

We saw Michael today on our way back from the beach and the girls and I stopped to say hi. He asked Katie how old she was and she said three, and that it was just her birthday. He told her that three was a very special age and pulled his money out of his pocket. I saw some ones, a twenty, and a five dollar bill. He handed her the five and told her to put it in her piggy bank and save it for something special. I insisted she give it back over and over, but he refused to take it. You can only refuse a gift so many times before you become the rude one, so eventually I said okay and Katie thanked him.

I have a lot more than he does, and I don’t give back nearly as much as I could.

The fact that he gave Katie five dollars when he has so little brought tears to my eyes. It made me think, I can do better, too. I have a lot more than he does, and I don’t give back nearly as much as I could. I think we’ll put together some blessing bags this week and hand them out to some of the homeless population in our area. It’s usually something we do on Thanksgiving but there’s no reason why we can’t do it more often. We always have plenty of food in our house, and we are so fortunate for that. What’s something that happened in your life that made you realize how grateful you are for all the blessings in your life?

Daily Life

Gender Roles in the Home

Posted on April 13, 2018

Do you have traditional gender roles in your house? We are kind of mixed over here. I am the one who builds things and puts air in the tires, and I also cook and do the dishes. Jason cleans more often than I do (because he is way more efficient than I am), he works outside the home, and he handles all the computer/electronics problems (“Babe!! The internet is broke again!”) I shop for groceries and Jason usually shops for toiletries. Monday-Wed Jason wakes up with the girls and does breakfast and gets them dressed while I relax or work out, and then Thurs-Sun I get up with them so he can sleep in.

We don’t call anything “girl jobs” or “boy jobs” in our house

We don’t call anything “girl jobs” or “boy jobs” in our house, and I think the girls are really absorbing that from us. It makes me happy to see Katie play with tools AND help me cook AND play with dinosaurs AND pretend to feed her doll. I want my girls to know they can become doctors or firefighters or chefs or teachers. That they can be moms or not be moms. That they can do math and yoga and learn to weld and also to sew. That they are smart and courageous and worth more than their looks, but that it’s also okay if they love makeup and fashion. I want to raise strong women, and every day I try to show them that they can be anything they want to be.