Okay, maybe not THE WORST. I’m no Mike Vick. And our 2 cats still get fed, fresh water, litter changed (although maybe not as much as they used to), and they have warm beds to sleep in. But the accommodations end there.
Before I had kids, I used to be someone who missed our cats when I went on vacation.
Dopey outside on his leash
Before I had kids, I used to be someone who missed our cats when I went on vacation. I would wonder what they were doing, if they missed me, if they felt abandoned. I used to chase them around the house forcing my love upon them and holding them against their will while I buried my face in their fur (okay, maybe I was the worst pet owner before?). I even took them outside when I would sit outside (on leashes because they aren’t cut out for outdoor life…) My love for them actually peaked while I was pregnant, oddly enough. I felt super attached to them! Maybe some weird motherly changes in my brain that I had nowhere to direct yet? (Did anyone else feel that way?)
Then the first baby, Katie, came. Then it was “we need to keep the bedroom door closed to keep the cats away from the baby.” I didn’t want their fur or dander or, heaven forbid, fleas in her crib. (We live in Southern California – even the most diligent pet owner will see a flea or two in the summer time.) Not to mention an accidental scratching if they went in her crib while she was in there too. I began spending most of my time on the couch with the baby (nursing around the clock…) and less time chasing the cats around soliciting love. Not that I was ever mean to them if they came around, just that I had a job to do as a mother, and that job was protect the baby.
Me and Dopey when I was pregnant with Katie. We were besties.
As Katie got into her toddler years, we began to relax a little bit. She was old enough to chase the cats and an accidental scratch or flea bite wouldn’t kill her. And then baby number 2 came, Isabelle.
I don’t shower alone, I spend half the night not sleeping alone, and sometimes someone is even touching my face when I’m going potty
This time, it wasn’t so much fleas or scratches we worried about (I mean, she’s our second kid.) It was more that I was so tapped out from being touched all the time, I had less love to give the cats. I spend every waking moment with at least one of the girls. I don’t shower alone, I spend half the night not sleeping alone, and sometimes someone is even touching my face when I’m going potty (no, it’s not Jason. We aren’t into that.). So by the end of the day, I am pretty touched-out. When the girls are finally sleeping and one of the cats crawls onto my lap, I can dole out maybe 5 minutes of pets before gently pushing them off.
Jason’s cat Dante. I don’t even want to admit how far back I had to look to find a pic of him.
When the girls are finally sleeping and one of the cats crawls onto my lap, I can dole out maybe 5 minutes of pets before gently pushing them off.
I feel bad, I really do. I wish I had more love to give. I honestly don’t know how dog owners do it because having a dog is almost like having another child.
It does give me solace that Katie loves the cats so much, so in a sense, she’s replaced me chasing them around and forcing her love upon them. I don’t know how much they enjoy it, but to be honest, I’m not sure how much they enjoyed it when I did it either. And in a couple years, Isabelle will be old enough to chase them too and they’ll get twice the love from the girls. And the girls will need me less so maybe I’ll have more love to give the cats then too. If they forgive my temporary absence (I know cats can hold grudges). I hope they know that I still love them and I will always take care of them, but sometimes I just need a moment where no one is touching me.