My initial New Year’s resolution was “more self-care”…. Until I realized what a cop-out that was. 

How do I decide if I achieved it or not?  How do I know if I should pat myself on the back and say, “Yes, I’m awesome,” or “I kind of bombed it”? And then do I make another wishy-washy goal for 2020?  Neither really makes me feel good.   I need to regroup, so I put on my big girl panties to deal with it.

How do I measure this “self-care” I’m referring to?

So, goals.  I need to decide how to measure this “self-care” I’m referring to.  I think to start, I want to make time to work out at least twice a week, do a facial once a week, and do something relaxing like take a bath or meditate once a week as well.  This means I need about 2.5-3 hours of time I will need to borrow from somewhere else.

Where is my time currently going?

Where is my time currently going?  This will help me decide where I can borrow from, or how to find “new time.”  Right now, the obvious priority is the girls.  I’m home with them most of the week, while also working from home and trying to manage a household (dinner, cleaning, etc.). I can do some things while I’m with them, but I want to be better about separating my tasks.  Multi-tasking often leads to half-assing everything.

Right now, the obvious priority is the girls.

 

I mentioned that I wanted to find a good planner in one of my instagram posts, and for Christmas I was gifted the Passion Planner by my brother and his girlfriend.  I am already obsessed! I love that it has a full month layout because I need to see everything at once, and then it has columns for each day that are broken down into half hour increments. 

I started by blocking off times I am sleeping, commuting, feeding the kids, etc.

I started by blocking off times I am sleeping, commuting, feeding the kids, etc., so I had a better idea of what times were available for me each day.  My hope was that I would find time I was squandering, but unfortunately I am just as busy as I thought I was!  This meant I needed to allot certain times for work, play, cleaning, etc. 

Scheduling everything….  It feels weird and formal, but it’s really been working for me.

So, scheduling everything….  It feels weird and formal, but it’s really been working for me.  It’s helping me be more focused and present in the moment.   I often find myself answering an email while I’m playing with the girls, or stopping to read a book to my kids when I’m supposed to be working.  And also the opposite problem: sometimes I start playing and don’t stop for hours and I get behind, or I start working and all of a sudden 2 hours have gone by and I haven’t given the kids enough attention. (Working from home problems… The struggle!)

I am not answering emails, checking instagram, cleaning, cooking, etc.

My new plan is that I now have scheduled times for everything, and I bought myself a timer.  There are times that are specifically for play.  During those times,  I set the timer and I am reading or playing and giving my kids my undivided attention until the timer goes off.  I am not answering emails, checking instagram, cleaning, cooking, etc.  The kids deserve that, and I made sure that there are a few hours of each day that we are playing together (in addition to the times we go to the park or aquarium or wherever.)

Another one of my goals this year was to make more money.

I also have times scheduled for work.  Another one of my goals this year was to make more money. Well, technically it was contribute to a better quality of life for our family, but a lot of that comes down to money.  I wanted to be able to pay for things like gymnastics lessons for Katie, maybe some new furniture for the new apartment, that type of stuff.  Nothing crazy, but it all costs money. And more money means more work.

I need to be working smarter, and scheduling work time is the answer.

I think what I need here is to be working smarter, and scheduling work time is the answer.  I am very fortunate that my in-laws agreed to help with the girls another day during the week, in addition to an overnight on the weekends.  This helps me work in larger chunks which is easier for me than squeezing one or two hours in here and there.  I can do the bulk of my work during those times.

I don’t work as efficiently after 14 hours of watching the girls

I am also still using “quiet time” (formerly nap time, RIP naps for Katie!) to work as well.  It’s kind of hit or miss, depending on how quiet the girls actually are.  And then I have some time after they go to bed, but I don’t work as efficiently after 14 hours of watching the girls, so I am allotting that time for some of my easier tasks.

Picking up isn’t as essential to me as work or spending uninterrupted time with the girls

The last thing I am scheduling is every day cleaning/cooking.  This is the type of thing I can do easily while the girls are awake, but not during our designated play time.  It’s a little scattered, has a lot of interruptions, but as long as I keep the house somewhat in order, we’ll all live.  Picking up isn’t as essential to me as work which has deadlines (also money), or spending uninterrupted time with the girls, because they won’t be little forever.

As I keep the house somewhat in order, we’ll all live

I know this wasn’t as fun as some of my other posts, but I’m guessing if you are still reading this, you are another busy mom looking to find your own balance which is why I decided to write about my trials and errors.  It’s not perfect, but it’s providing me a little more structure and stability amidst the chaos that is life with 2 littles. 

It is also still a work in progress, so I’ll be posting updates as I go. I would love to hear any other tips from moms out there who are figuring out the juggle!

Product Links:

Erica Panty I’m wearing on my couch

Passion Planner