How have your parenting roles changed during the pandemic?

When Jason started working from home at the beginning of the shutdown, I felt obligated to watch the kids during the day, as I usually did when he was at the office. Except now, I wasn’t getting my work time because the kids no longer had preschool.

I spent the first couple weeks burning the candle at both ends.

I spent the first couple weeks burning the candle at both ends. I would watch the kids all day while Jason worked, and then I’d do my work after he was done. A couple hours after he finished, the kids would go to bed and he was free for the evening while I was up late every night. Jason’s the primary breadwinner in our family, so his work is important, but I was also feeling resentful that he still got free time after the kids went to bed while I was sacrificing mine so I could split up work and kid-time. I could feel it taking a toll on my mental health.

I could feel it taking a toll on my mental health.

I met with Parent Coach @MaryVanGeffen to look at how I could find some balance in my life while still being fair to the kids. None of this was anyone’s fault; this is a new situation for all of us. I was missing the big chunks of time I used to get from preschool, but what’s the solution? It’s taken several months to finally figure out what works for us and once kindergarten starts, we’re expecting another curveball.

None of this was anyone’s fault; this is a new situation for all of us.

For now, our plan is that I bring my work things to the bluff most mornings because Jason wakes up later, and the beginning of his work day is slower. The kids also have some online classes so he can focus on work while they’re engaged and learning, and neither of feel guilty that they aren’t getting enough attention. In the afternoon, I take over and I take the kids outside for a couple hours and then we play together until dinner.

I’m still missing a lot of me-time, a couple showers, and a few pieces of my sanity

While it’s been hard navigating our new roles and new schedules, I’m proud that we were able to communicate and figure out something that’s fair and that works for both of us, and also for the kids. It’s not perfect. I’m still missing a lot of me-time, a couple showers, and a few pieces of my sanity, as I’m sure we all are, but it looks like this will be our new normal for a while.

Can anyone else relate? How have you navigated the changes in your parenting roles?⁠