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Daily Life

Gonna Party Like it’s My Birthday

Posted on February 27, 2018

Evolution of my birthdays (aka birth-weeks) over the years from ages 19 – 32! The first is in Canada because their drinking age is 19 (so obviously this was my first alcoholic beverage.) The next few are from my early 20s. Lots of shots, dancing on bars in heels (seriously, how?) and hours spent getting ready. I’m not sure what took so long, but somehow prepping to go out took at least 2 hours. We started getting ready around 9 to get to the bar by 11 (now I can’t believe we went out at 11!)

The second to last was my last childless birthday, and we were on our babymoon in Palm Springs. I remember feeling so carefree, spending hundreds on nice meals (!!!) and hiking Joshua Tree when it was 42 and rainy. We didn’t see a single other person once we passed the half mile mark and I remember thinking we might not make it out of there! (I was 36 weeks at the time.)

Last year I was pregnant and sick with a cold and sinus infection. I also had hyperemesis gravidarum so ironically, this sober and pregnant birthday involved more vomiting than any of the ones in my early 20s (which is saying a lot.)

This year, I am excited for a week of lunches and happy hours with friends, an escape room on Saturday, and a big brunch with friends and family on Sunday ?. I will most certainly say “It’s MY birthday” multiple times (any Vanderpump fans out there?  I’m pretty much Stassi during my birth-week except no one will be getting in brawls and I didn’t make everyone I know take a week off to celebrate my birthday in Cancun) and I’m excited to make 32 my best year ever! Cheers to an exciting (but not too exciting) and vomit-free birth-week. And sorry in advance for upcoming birth-week spam.

Daily Life

Toddler Meltdowns: The Struggle is Real

Posted on February 25, 2018

Wearing shades to hide the fact that I totally have tears in my eyes. Did you notice it’s just me and Isabelle? We drove all the way out to the LA Harbor today to see the Dutch Tallship Stad Amsterdam. Katie was already causing trouble on the way there, shouting in the car and kicking Jason’s seat while he was driving. We got out of the car and went and got in line to board the ship and she was being SO bad.

Katie was already causing trouble on the way there, shouting in the car and kicking Jason’s seat while he was driving.

Jason tried putting her on his shoulders, we tried to get her excited about the ship (because she couldn’t stop talking about it on the way there!), and we kept telling her if she didn’t behave she wasn’t allowed to go on. She kept insisting that she was going to behave, but her actions weren’t changing. She was screaming and thrashing around on the ground, asking for one thing after another like milk and chicken nuggets and to watch tv.

We kept telling her if she didn’t behave she wasn’t allowed to go on.

We didn’t have any of those things, and I don’t think she wanted them either, it was just a power struggle to see what she could get. We probably warned her 20 times that she couldn’t go on if she didn’t behave and when we got to the front of the line, she was still thrashing and screaming on the ground. We had no choice but to tell her she was out of chances.

We had no choice but to tell her she was out of chances.

Deep down I thought maybe Jason would take her to the car to calm down and bring her back so I boarded with Isabelle and looked around and waited. I texted Jason to see what was going on and he said they weren’t coming back (usually I’m the mean one and he’s the softie so I was surprised!) I felt bad. I mean REALLY bad. I knew it had to be done because she can’t act like that, but it still hurt my heart to take something from her she really wanted.

I felt bad. I mean REALLY bad.

She cried the whole way home, and I was a little teary-eyed myself. It’s hard to uphold consequences – especially when you drive all the way to get somewhere and have to go right home. I think I need to buckle up if this is going to be life with a threenager. Please send positive vibes – no, send beer.

Daily Life

Dealing with serious temper tantrums

Posted on February 21, 2018

Okay guys, today was a rough one for us! We visited this interpretive center for the first time and there’s a really cute museum inside. They have a BINGO game for kids and have crayons you can borrow to play it. So K and I played and she was having kind of a rough time but she’s almost 3 so it was nothing out of the ordinary. Then we had to return the crayon because it wasn’t ours and K LOST IT. I mean like nothing I have ever seen before, and that’s saying a lot.

We have seen the thrashing on the ground crying tantrums, we’ve seen hitting and kicking, we’ve seen running away and refusing to come when called…

We have seen the thrashing on the ground crying tantrums, we’ve seen hitting and kicking, we’ve seen running away and refusing to come when called… This was a whole new level. I wanted to check her for broken bones or a flesh eating bacteria because in my head, there was no way any child should be acting like this unless they are dying. She would walk 5 feet, throw herself on the ground screaming at the top of her lungs like she was being murdered, thrash around, stand up walk 5 more feet, rinse and repeat.

I wanted to check her for broken bones or a flesh eating bacteria because in my head, there was no way any child should be acting like this unless they are dying.

I was trying to get her outside because we were inside an effing museum, the quietest place ever, and everyone was looking at us… I tried all my patient mom tricks to calm her down – I explained that we have to share the crayons, I tried to take a deep breath together, I offered to go to the bathroom to help her splash water on her face, I was desperate and nothing was working. And also had Isabelle in the carrier so carrying K while she was fighting with all her might wasn’t really practical.

I tried all my patient mom tricks to calm her down

So K cried/thrashed/flopped around on the ground every few feet the whole way to the car and I was almost fuming at this point, but was really trying to keep it together. Because no one wins if we are both screaming on the ground, though I was tempted. I told her we could either go home and no tv the rest of the day, or we could eat lunch outside the center and calm down, and after she could go in and apologize for her behavior. She chose the latter so we went and did lunch.

I told her she could go in and apologize for her behavior.

When it came time for the apology, K confidently walked inside, walked up to the staff at the desk, and then closed her eyes and turned her head! For what felt like an eternity but was probably 5-10 seconds. She eventually said sorry and the staff member told her she accepted her apology and we went back outside. I don’t know if her behavior was because she was tired (Isabelle screamed most of the night) or if I’m just desperately grasping at straws because I honestly can’t believe how bad this behavior was and I want to think there was a damn good reason so I can tell myself it won’t happen again.

If this is how 3 is going to be, it’s going to be a long year! Really hoping it was just an off day!

Daily Life

Picking Battles with a Toddler

Posted on February 19, 2018

On today’s episode of “Pick Your Battles”… Do you ever find yourself making rules, but only because you think those are supposed to be the rules? And then you realize it’s not something you even care about and you’re only doing it so you look good to other people?

Do you ever find yourself making rules, but only because you think those are supposed to be the rules?

When we left today, it was in the low 50s. We put everyone in pants and winter coats and didn’t bring K a change of clothes or shoes because we thought it was too cold for water play. We also told K this when we left. When we got to the aquarium, the outside area didn’t feel too bad. It was about 60, the sun was shining, the buildings were blocking the wind, and K wanted to take her shoes off. I still felt like it was a little too cold, but not frostbite-cold or hypothermia-cold. (In Michigan, these are the standards for cold.)

We thought it was too cold for water play.

I looked at Jason and he shrugged. Neither of us felt like this was an important battle to fight. It wasn’t a safety issue, it didn’t impede other people’s abilities to enjoy themselves, so we let her go for it. Fast forward 5 minutes… Now K wants to take her shirt off.

On one hand, we didn’t want the other parents to think we were hillbillies…

On one hand, we didn’t want the other parents to think we were hillbillies; on the other hand, a dry warm shirt to wear on the walk home makes way more sense on the windy bike path than a cold wet shirt… So again, we shrugged. In a couple years, society will dictate that she needs to wear a shirt anytime she wants to go out in public! Shirt AND shoes if she wants to go inside places.

How often do you get to be not-even-3 and run around shoeless and shirtless in public?

How often do you get to be not-even-3 and run around shoeless and shirtless in public? We may have gotten a few looks, but it was totally worth it. K had a blast, and Jason and I had enough patience left to battle “no standing in the stroller”, “no playing on the stairs”, ” no squeezing your sister’s face with your feet”… You know, all the good stuff. Sometimes the key to keeping your sanity is learning when to let it go.

Daily Life

Through the eyes of a child

Posted on February 18, 2018

It’s so funny how spending time with a child changes the way you look at things. I probably passed these things a thousand times without looking through them when K was a baby. Now that she’s old enough, she wants to look through them every time we pass them. What’s funny is now I look through them too, even when she isn’t with me.

I feel like being around her makes me appreciate the beauty around me more. I look up at the clouds and the leaves in the trees (I feel like I never used to look up!), I squat down to get a better view of flowers and bugs, I even started appreciating all the different types of transportation more. Before kids I would have spent my drives being annoyed with traffic and never would have thought, “Wow, today I saw 2 tankers, a fire truck, and a garbage truck! How cool is that?!”

It’s no wonder toddlers and babies sleep so much, noticing everything is like sensory overload! When I listen to K point out not only objects but the colors and shapes that make up those objects and the letters or numbers on them, I can’t believe the details I overlook in every day life. Don’t get me wrong, of course there is a time and place and it only makes sense that us adults overlook those things. Can you imagine trying to navigate your way to a new destination while also noticing every color and shape and letter around you? It would be impossible! (And also probably why it takes toddlers so long to get from Point A to Point B .)

But, when it’s safe and you have the time, there is really nothing better than looking at things through a toddler’s eyes. It’s truly magical.

Daily Life

Paczki Day!

Posted on February 13, 2018

Happy Pączki Day! “What’s a pączki?” you may ask? You are not alone! I thought everyone ate them on Fat Tuesday until I moved to Southerm California and there is only one deli near us that carries them and it’s 25 miles each way. In Michigan where I grew up, every grocery store carries them for at least a week before Fat Tuesday!

Back to what it is: a pączki is sort of like a doughnut but bigger and more deliciousy-er. It’s a tradition on Fat Tuesday before the beginning of Lent. I found this amazing deli when I was pregnant with Katie (because you can’t be pregnant on Fat Tuesday and NOT have a pączki!) so I drove the 25 miles to get there, waited in line, got to the front, and found out they had sold out and everyone still in line had pre-ordered days in advance!

So naturally, I went home and sobbed. The ugly kind of sob, for like 2 hours. I was huge and hormonal and had my heart set on fried dough! I went to 2 different doughnut places and tried to fill the giant, fat, sad hole in my heart with regular doughnuts but it wasn’t the same. I was so bummed. (Who cries over food, right?). So now I have never made the mistake of not pre-ordering again and every year for Fat Tuesday we make the trek out and get some amazing pączkis. It makes me so happy that even though K didn’t get to have one in my tummy, she can enjoy them with me every year outside my tummy.

Daily Life

Isabelle is 9 months

Posted on February 8, 2018

Happy 9 months Little Lady!! I cannot believe there is so much chill and yet so much fire in your tiny little body! With Katie we knew what we were getting into… She has been a firecracker from day 1 and when she got colic at 5 weeks, we knew it was paving the way for a spirited toddler.

I swear being in that harness put a chip on her shoulder!

But Isabelle was more deceiving. She started sucking her thumb the day she was born and was such an easy newborn! She was so laid back about getting her pavlik harness put on, and then the day it came off (for the first time in 8 weeks), she surprised us by rolling over. And she hasn’t stopped moving since! Jason laughs when I say this, but I swear being in that harness put a chip on her shoulder!

Diaper changes are like wrestling an alligator

Every day since then, we see a little more fire in her – but only about certain things! It’s either one extreme or the other and there is no in between with her. She still loves sucking her thumb, if we put a blanket over her carseat at naptime she’ll fall asleep, she doesn’t get upset when K takes toys from her or is rough with her… but then diaper changes are like wrestling an alligator, she squawks and shout-babbles at you if you eat in front of her and don’t share (which is sad and hilarious), and she is so desperate to walk!

Before she was born, I remember people saying how siblings can be so different.

Some days are rough (teething has been brutal with her – much harder than it was with K – and she only has 3 teeth so far) but she is such a joy to spend time with and I love watching her grow and become her own person. It’s funny because before she was born, I remember people saying how siblings can be so different.

And it’s scary when you only have one because you love them so much and can’t imagine wanting your next child to be different! But while Isabelle is her own person, she also has a little bit of all of us in her (and actually a lot more Katie than I expected – but hopefully not more than I can handle. Send wine?) Anyways, happy 9 months Missy. I love who you are becoming

Daily Life

All the WHY Questions

Posted on February 6, 2018

Oh, the joys of toddlerhood… One minute you’re prancing around holding Dad’s hand, and the next you are falling apart because you suddenly decided you NEEDED ice but shockingly, no one had any on them. The power struggles are out of control lately! I swear K asks for stuff she doesn’t even want just so she can fall apart when we say we don’t have it! And don’t even get me started on the questions…

The “why” I can handle. If my little one has genuine questions, I will answer “why” all day long and if I don’t know the answer, I am happy to google. I will never say no to knowledge. The questions I’m talking about are the ones the repeat over and over and over even after you answer. “Where are we going?” “Home.” “Where are we going?” “Home.” “Where are we going?” “…..Still home.” Does anyone else’s toddler do this?!

If someone described this scenario before I had kids, I would have laughed. It doesn’t sound that bad, right? But omg after answering the same question ten times, and answering 50 other questions ten times, I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!

Part of me wonders is it a control thing? Are they trying to see how many times they can get something out of us that they don’t even need? (Because that sounds like a sociopath to me….) Or are they trying to initiate a conversation but have nothing new to say? I like to think the latter, but when I try to change topics and actually have a conversation, I get asked the same question again. Or is it something else entirely? Who else is dealing with this and what do you do? Or am I just a terrible mom for being annoyed by this? 

Daily Life

How Do You Teach Kids About Safety?

Posted on February 5, 2018

How do you instill into your kids that cars are dangerous? Why is it that I can trust K not to step off the edge of a mountain but she’ll step into the street? She tried to cross a crosswalk without waiting for me during our walk today… I yelled “freeze!”, I shouted at her that she needs to wait for me to hold her hand, but as I got closer she still started slowly creeping her way across the street on her own (the walk sign was lit and she does know what the walk sign and stop sign mean, but that’s beside the point…)

So naturally, I yelled at her because I was mad and scared, and I strapped her in the stroller. The thing is, everything is a power struggle these days, and listening has never been K’s strong suit. She’s stubborn and loves testing the limits and it’s nearly impossible to explain that some rules are most important than others. If you throw the ball in the house after I ask you not to and break a lamp or something, I’ll be unhappy and you might lose tv privileges for the afternoon. If you run in the street and get hit by a car, YOU COULD DIE.

How do you explain that to a toddler? I mean, honestly, I’m asking for advice. What do you do? (No one say spank her because I’m pretty sure we were born into the wrong decade for that, though I do see the appeal…

Daily Life

Smiley Isabelle

Posted on February 2, 2018

I got my smiley girl back! I am in shock with how happy this kid has been since her tooth popped last weekend. I mean, I suppose it’s exactly how she was before. But you know when your kid is sick or teething and they become an entirely different child? And you start telling yourself it’s just a phase but then weeks go by and you start feeling crazy… Like, “what if it isn’t a phase? What if she got some sort of weird late colic (at almost 9 months.)

What if a switch flipped in her brain and this is her new personality? What if she’s like this forever and always screams when I set her down and wakes up all the time at night and cries and I’ll be at my breaking point for the rest of my life?!?!?!” I mean, this went on for over a month! Her gums were so swollen and she was so miserable and if I even set her down to pee she screamed the entire time! And now, it’s like a weight has been lifted. I can’t believe how night and day her behavior is. So I am just soaking up the smiles and coos and cuddles and enjoying thjs beautiful day with my happy baby girl!