Daily Life

I woke up in an excellent mood today!  Perhaps the extra sleep had something to do with it?  I just woke up feeling ready to take on the day and excited to spend it with my family.  Jason went and picked up K from his parents house and I stayed home and hung out with Isabelle.  We decided to attempt a family brunch which is always a crap shoot.  I loaded up Belles into the stroller and started walking down to the restaurant when Jason got close and he met me there with K.  Surprise!  Belles slept the whole time and K was perfectly well-behaved.  She ate her food, she played with her toys, she stayed in her seat, no meltdowns…  We felt like it was our lucky day.  This rarely happens.  That’s why we only go to a super cheap brunch place with the understanding that we’ll just box up our food and leave if we need to.  Sitting for an entire restaurant meal as a family was a nice treat though.

Casually walking to set up her obstacle course

We went home and K napped and after nap we noticed she needed to burn some energy so we took her out to do an obstacle course.  This is one of her favorite activities.  We packed up some random toys and household items and headed out.  She had a blast.  Her motor skills are getting really good and when she got bored with her obstacles, she rearranged them to make them a little bit different.  We practically had to drag her inside after 30 or 40 tries when her jump became a weak hop because she was too tired.  And with Isabelle in the carrier and both Jason and I cheering her on, K felt like the star again.  I think it was good for her to get some exclusive attention.  It’s hard to squeeze in one on one time with her while also attending to newborn demands.  We make some time every day during Belles’ naps but we also need that time to shower, pick up, make meals, etc. Overall the whole day was a success.  Brunch was good, the obstacle course was good, and after burning some energy K was an angel the rest of the night.  What more could we ask for?

K getting restless before we left for our walk

Hooray!  K went to her grandparents for the night!  I feel kind of guilty getting so excited that she’s gone but I need some time to bond with Belles and I REALLY need some sleep.   We had a pretty normal morning.  K was getting restless inside and is starting to get really bossy lately.  She lost it when Jason wouldn’t pick up her pacifier for her when it was 6 inches away from her hand and then she intentionally dumped out her box of 64 crayons and demanded I pick them up for her.  I didn’t.  We ended up doing a walk and she was able to get some exercise and shortly after, her grandparents picked her up for the night.

 It’s a much less stressful experience to not constantly be worrying about kidnappers and SIDS

Jason and I took the opportunity to go out for beer.  We were hoping Belles would cooperate and sleep most of the time; of course she didn’t.  We were in the midst of passing her back and forth and taking turns patting her while chatting with the people at the table next to us: a mom and her daughter who were both nurses. The daughter kept saying how much she loved babies and offered to walk and pat Belles for us.  We jumped on the offer!  She was right next to us the whole time and Belles fell asleep while this woman was holding her.  And then she held Belles for probably an hour while Jason and I chatted and relaxed and enjoyed our beers.  Now we keep joking that we should go around asking people to hold her for us next time we’re out.  “Do you like babies?  Want to hold ours?!”  It’s funny how much more relaxed you are with your second kid.  It’s a much less stressful experience to not constantly be worrying about kidnappers and SIDS and all the crazy things that rarely happen anyways.

K and Belles on my lap at a fountain

Don’t get me wrong, I hate to complain about how affectionate K is towards Belles.  I know a lot of parents have the opposite problem when introducing a new baby.  But not only is it exhausting, I worry that she’s missing out on things she could be doing that she would enjoy more.  I brought the girls on a walk today to get out and we stopped at a fountain so I could feed Belles.  I thought K would run around the fountain and burn some energy while I nursed, but she wanted to be on my lap as well.  It wasn’t until I was done feeding Belles that K ventured off on her own and walked around the fountain.  I’m not sure

K walking around the fountain after I finished feeding Belles

why she has a hard time specifically when I feed Belles.  At home she also asks to use the potty when I feed Belles.  Which means I need to get up, wipe her, and give her some chocolate chips.  This is no easy task while nursing.  I feel like I’m giving her plenty of one on one time?  It’s hard not to feel guilty sometimes.  Like I have this beautiful new baby who I love so much but wonder if K will ever be the same.  I know someday they’ll be best friends and she won’t remember being an only child, but sometimes I’m worried I’ll create an emotional scar because she feels replaced.  I wonder if other moms feel this way too.

I know someday they’ll be best friends and she won’t remember being an only child, but sometimes I’m worried I’ll create an emotional scar because she feels replaced.

Sitting with both girls on my lap and listening to the sound of the fountain was incredibly relaxing though.  It gave me some time to clear my head and think.  I was feeling a little frazzled and stressed out this morning.  I even felt rushed the first half of our walk.  Sometimes I forget we have nowhere to be and the walk is about the journey and we really don’t have a destination. Oddly enough, taking a break with the girls and feeling their snuggles and listening to the water was one of the best moments of my day.  Maybe I should start meditating and listening to water sounds or something.

I hate to say it, but I’m kind of glad the time has gone quickly.

K posing with Belles for her 1 month picture

Isabelle is one month today!  I know how cliché it is to say, but it really flew by.  I hate to say it, but I’m kind of glad the time has gone quickly.  The beginning is so hard!  You want to enjoy how sweet and little your newborn is but you’re so damn tired!  You just want to fast forward to when you can sleep at least 5 hours at a time!  Then you look back and say “Why didn’t I enjoy it more?!”  Well, I’m right in the thick of it and now I remember why.  It’s exhausting!  That’s not to say I’m not enjoying myself.  I love the girls and I love spending time with them.  But I don’t hate that time is going pretty fast right now.  I won’t be sad when Belles is 3 or 4 months and sleeping a little better and no longer having that fussy evening period where she cries on and off from 8-11 every night.  

K blowing bubbles at the farmer’s market

We went to the farmer’s market yesterday.  There was a little boy who wanted to play with K and she was not about it. Ever since Isabelle was born, I’ve noticed such a shift in her personality.  It kind of makes me sad.  She’s so much clingier with Jason and I like she’s worried about losing her place in her family.  At one point another little girl sat on my lap and K looked so offended and ran over to sit on Jason while he was holding Isabelle.  I try to give her extra attention as much as possible and I’m hoping she’ll branch out again when she gets used to Isabelle.  She used to be a lot more social.  I’m also helping preschool will help with that.  She starts 2 mornings a week on the 20th.  I’m really excited for her.

Isabelle’s doctor called with her ultrasound results today too and she said Isabelle has mild hip dysplasia in her right hip.  I knew it wasn’t good news as soon as the doctor said “Do you have a minute?”  She put in an urgent referral for an orthopedic doctor so we should hear back by next week regarding an appointment.  She said he would likely recommend double diapering or a cloth harness for her to wear.  I’ll have to google it.  And I was so proud of myself for making it a month without googling baby stuff!  With K all I did was google and I was always stressed.  Google always seems to come back with “they’re probably dying.”  Anyways, it sounds like the hip dysplasia is easily corrected because Belles is so young.  It just wasn’t what I wanted to hear.  No one wants to hear that something is wrong with their baby.

The tiredness of having a newborn is starting to catch up with me a little.

The tiredness of having a newborn is starting to catch up with me a little.  The first 2 or 3 weeks are so hazy it doesn’t seem so bad, and now reality is setting.  Like how long can we keep going with this little sleep?  I almost feel drunk  and at the end of the day, I can barely remember the beginning.  I feel more impatient than normal too.  I’m sure hormones aren’t helping.  Anxiety hasn’t been too bad at this point though.  I feel like the placenta pills are really helping with that.  And being so busy as well.  I just don’t have time to worry.  Friday night K goes to her grandparents so I’ll be able to sleep in for a little bit.  Looking forward to it!

We went to get an ultrasound on Isabelle’s hips today to check for hip dysplasia because she was breech.  We started packing up 2 hours before we left and packed up for a total of an hour between diaper changed and feedings.  Pretty sure at least one of them was crying at every point during this hour.  Then we left an hour before we needed to be there even though it’s a 15 minute drive because of all the time it takes to get to the car with both of them, load up, drive there, and then unload and get inside with both.  Katie cried the whole way there because she left her pacifier at home, and then the whole walk from the parking garage to the hospital because she wanted Jason to carry her and he couldn’t while he carried Isabelle’s carseat.  I’m beginning to wonder for how many years crying will be the soundtrack to our lives.

I’m beginning to wonder for how many years crying will be the soundtrack to our lives.

The ultrasound went well.  More crying, of course.  Isabelle didn’t like us straightening her legs so they could get a good look at them on the ultrasound.  I was surprised at how strong she was when I was holding her legs.  Honestly, I’m already sore.  The technician said they get sore when they do the holding too and they do it all the time.   Of course there was more crying from Katie too because we kept having to ask her to move out the way and it hurt her feelings.  Both Jason and I were needed to hold Isabelle in the right position and neither of us could tend to Katie.  I felt bad but there was nothing we could do.  After the third time we asked her to move, she lay down on the floor and pouted.  I mentioned that the girls cry a lot.  Jason said the three of us cry a lot.  He’s not wrong.

I mentioned that the girls cry a lot.  Jason said the three of us cry a lot.

The good news i, we found out that with hip dysplasia, if they catch it this early,  only requires double diapering to correct.  Jason and I were worried she would need a brace of some sort.  It’s still better than surgery which is what is required if they don’t catch it until later.  Jason is a little bummed she won’t get to be a cyborg.  Ideally everything will be fine anyways.  We’ll find out in a couple of days.  She was footling breech until the very end when she shifted to full breech, so we’re optimistic.

I got a little weepy leaving the hospital.  Every time I see the circle drive where Jason pulled the car around to get me when Katie was born, then after my miscarriage, and then after Isabelle was born, I am overcome with emotion.  I was pregnant with my second at this time last year so I’ve been reflecting on the loss a little more lately.  Also, again, hormones are still dropping.

Katie “measuring Isabelle while we wait for the doctor

Isabelle is 4 weeks today!  And 8 lbs 14.5 ounces!  She’s up almost a pound from 2 weeks ago and doctors are happy.   We go back on Wednesday for her hip ultrasound to check her breech legs for hip dysplasia.  Fingers crossed everything is fine.

I also asked the doctor about K throwing up.  She said they’ve been seeing a lot of it lately.  The good news is it usually subsides in 24-48 hours (we actually haven’t seen any more of it since our episode at Frosted) and even better, Isabelle is getting my antibodies in breast milk from when I was sick earlier in the week (yes, I was the one who started it all), and is unlikely to get sick too.

In other news, K discovered the window in the stroller awning.  This meant the rest of our walk consisted of her pressing her face into the plastic shouting “Hi, Mommy!  Hi, Mommy!  Hi, Mommy!” So much for using walks to reflect on my thoughts…  Perhaps she’ll forget about it by our next walk.

Katie and Isabelle

Well, well, well.  Where to start.  I would perhaps suggest starting on the “About Me” page, and then coming back here.  At this point, I am adjusting to life as a new mom for the second time.  Juggling 2 kids has been like learning a new language.  Katie turned 2 on March 29th and Isabelle will be 4 weeks tomorrow so I am running on little sleep, hormones are dipping, and I am recovering from a c section.  But so far, it hasn’t been too bad.

Getting out of the house this morning was a little tough, but not impossible.  So far Isabelle just needs diapers and K needs diapers and a couple snacks.  We are still working on timing as far as getting everyone changed and fed and out of the house before someone poops or gets hungry again (Isabelle…).  It’s a work in progress.

Me and Katie sitting in the driver’s seat!

We went to a Touch-a-truck event today.  Belles had a hard time sleeping because all the kids wanted to honk all of the horns (in addition to the general roar of a noisy crowd), and I felt a little bit like a shitty mom for not thinking to bring ear protection, but K had fun.

And then the for grand finale of our day: I took the girls for a walk while Jason cleaned up the apartment and while we were out, we stopped at the cupcake place. I got a cookie for K and as we were walking out to leave, K stopped and projectile vomited all over the floor.  Like all over.  Every time I thought she was done and went to wipe her off, she would throw up even more.  And she’s crying and shouting “Mommy!” the whole time because she’s never thrown up before and she’s scared.  So by the end, there’s throw up everywhere and I stood there for a good 5 seconds in shock like I didn’t even know how to start cleaning this mess.  And may have teared up a little bit.

Luckily another mom sprung into action and asked me if I had some wipes to help me clean up K.  So we stripped her down and threw her clothes in a garbage bag while we cleaned her up.  An employee came out to do the floor (sorry!!) which ended up being so bad they had to close the store.  I put a jacket on a semi-clean K and got her back in the stroller.  At this point she’s crying because I took off her vomit-filled shoes and she wants them back on.  We get out of the store and Isabelle starts crying.  So I finish walking home with 2 screaming kids.

We arrived at home, and Jason got us inside.  K got mad when I threw a piece of her cookie in the grass from her stroller tray (apparently she still wanted it) and also insisted on walking upstairs backwards (like I had the first week after my c section).  These were both good signs that she didn’t feel too bad.  I threw K’s vomit clothes in the sink with some laundry soap (we don’t have in-unit laundry), washed my hands and fed Isabelle to calm her down.  Then I ran a shower with the drain plugged and washed myself and K while K played with her tub toys.  And now we are all fresh and clean and so ready for bed.

Now that it’s all said and done, I guess I can at least be somewhat glad K didn’t throw up all over the apartment…