Daily Life

Man oh man. Don’t let this adorable smile fool you – we had quite the morning. It’s tough creating boundaries with toddlers and sometimes you aren’t certain whether you are picking the right battles. On one hand, you don’t want your kid to suffer because they were having a tough day and you aren’t being supportive. On the other hand, you want them to learn to help themselves as well.

On one hand, you don’t want your kid to suffer because they were having a tough day and you aren’t being supportive. On the other hand, you want them to learn to help themselves as well.

K woke up and I could tell she was having a hard time. Jason got her some dry cheerios and she wanted to eat them on the couch and watch tv while I fed Isabelle, which we let her do in the mornings. So he set her bowl on the coffee table and she pointed at it and said “Daddy get it.” Jason said she could reach it herself but that he would help her, so he grabbed the bowl and held it halfway to where she was on the couch and she reluctantly reached the rest of the way to grab the bowl.

At this point it was a game to see what she could get away with.

She took a couple of bites, set the bowl back on the coffee table, and then pointed again and said “Daddy get it.” At this point it was a game to see what she could get away with. Jason gently told her she could get it herself this time and went back to bed. Instead of getting it herself, she got mad and threw a tantrum. In the bedroom, on the floor next to Jason, for a solid 10 minutes, thrashing around and crying “Daddy get it!!” She obviously had to walk past her cheerios on the table to walk to the bedroom, but was mad Jason wouldn’t give in to her demands.

In my head, the whole thing seems so stupid.

I know she was having a rough day today, and I get it. I tried talking to her during her tantrum, I told her I would sit with her while she reached for the bowl herself, etc. And in my head, the whole thing seems so stupid. Like our kid is losing it because we won’t hand her cheerios. It would take 2 seconds for us to do. But we also don’t want her walking around demanding people do things for her that she can do for herself, because we want her to be a well-adjusted adult. Times like this it’s so hard to tell if you’re being mean and unsupportive, or standing your ground.

Today was nothing short of magical. It was nature therapy in the literal sense. We left at 830 this morning; fueled up with McDonalds breakfast; and then 4 and a half hours, 5 miles, and 500 feet later (during which K didn’t ask to be carried once because I think she might be part machine ?) we emerged as better, calmer, and happier people. We enjoyed so many trees and bugs and rocks, we listened to crickets and crunching leaves ?? as we walked, we formed a chain to cross the creek 6 times ?, we helped each other and enjoyed each other’s company.

Nothing but us and nature for half of the day. Plus how awesome is a waterfall?! K LOVED it and had fun playing with sticks in the mud and wading in the water. I really like sharing with her how you work hard to hike somewhere and get to enjoy something at the end as a reward for your efforts ?. And hiking is extra special because you enjoy something that cannot be viewed any other way. You can’t get to some places in a car or even on a bike and without hiking, you can only see the views in photos which totally isn’t the same. I also like teaching K how to appreciate nature, which in turn helps me teach her why it’s important to recycle, care for the environment ?, etc.

I really can’t articulate all the feelings I had on our hike because there were just so many, much of which was joy. I have never felt so close to my family as I did today and I’m so excited that hiking season has begun for us and that we can continue to share these special experiences together.

I got the girls fed and dressed in swim clothes and I packed up practically everything we own and Jason picked up a pizza… and we got to the pool at it was closed! So I told K we could still go home and do the beach bc she was all excited for swimming. And of course our first day of fall ?? weather that I was so excited about this morning did not make for a good beach evening. It was a little chilly for me but K didn’t seem to mind. Going to the beach seemed to be enough to make up for not swimming ?‍♂️ so we stayed and played for a while until we left because K threw sand in Belles’ face. Twice. (Seriously, it was one of THOSE days. Tantrum after tantrum and lots of tears. Mostly from me…)

Tantrum after tantrum and lots of tears. Mostly from me.

We went home and gave poor Belles a bath and put her to bed and then Jason gave K a bath too (but washed her hair without taking out her braids? ? Dads do things differently…) And now K is in bed and I’m reflecting back on the day like holy shit, momming is no joke. Some days are really really hard. Some days your kid only listens to 10% of what you tell them and it’s so hard to remember they’re only kids and not get upset.

Like if one of your adult friends intentionally threw sand in someone’s face, you probably wouldn’t be friends with them anymore.

Like if one of your adult friends intentionally threw sand in someone’s face, you probably wouldn’t be friends with them anymore. But then you have a kid and they do it and you can’t even get mad and you definitely can’t hold a grudge. You just have to be like “Hey! ? That wasn’t very nice! We don’t throw sand in people’s faces!” (And just hearing yourself say it outloud you’re like am I really saying this? This is something I say now?) And then your kid says “why not?” And you say “because it’s not nice and it hurts ? people!” And then they say “why?” and you’re like “Idk, sand is little and gets in eyes and mouths and it stings and doesn’t taste good.” And this process continues until you say “BECAUSE I SAY SO!” and then your toddler forgets what they did literally before you are even done cleaning up the mess so you aren’t allowed to be mad anymore and sometimes you kind of want to be. But then they go to bed and the house is quiet and you see how sweet ? they look when they’re sleeping and you tell yourself it’s not so hard.

Took both the girls to the park today… We had a good time playing for a couple hours and then left after K had level 11 tantrum when she realized she couldn’t get farther than the second rung on the ? monkey bars and Mommy couldn’t do it for her (Sorry kid, you’re 2 and your arms are too short and you have the rest of your life to figure out the stupid monkey bars.)

Sorry kid, you’re 2 and your arms are too short and you have the rest of your life to figure out the stupid monkey bars.

So we start walking home and Belles gets hungry and starts crying (because it had been a whole 90 minutes since she ate last and was clearly about to die of starvation). We’re not far so I figure she can wait 5 minutes. We stop at my car 2 blocks from home to put the stroller in the back (I store it in there bc I can’t carry the stroller and the girls and all their shit up 2 flights of stairs every time we go somewhere) and K drops her sassy (pacifier ?) and gets mad I can’t “wash sass” (with the nonexistent faucet I keep in my pocket at all times) so she lies down on the sidewalk and starts crying.

So she lies down on the sidewalk and starts crying.

By now Belles is screaming in the carrier so pretty much right in my face (sorry I can’t feed you while I attempt to fold up this massive double stroller) and the stroller will not fold the way it usually does. So of course I start crying. And now we’re all crying and it’s hot and I just want to go home so I call Jason at work like how the &#%! do I fold this damn thing up and he tells me the brake has to be on or it won’t fold ?. So I manage to fold it and close my trunk and Belles is still screaming in the carrier and K is still screaming on the ground so I scoop her up AND her backpack (which she loads up with shit and insists on carrying places so I can lug it home every. single. time) AND the diaper bag.

Now we’re all crying and it’s hot and I just want to go home.

I carry all of our shit and 2 screaming girls the 2 blocks home and up 2 flights of stairs into our apartment for the second time this week ?, cursing myself for taking them somewhere. And now we’re inside and everyone is fed and changed and quiet because they’re both tired… and I’m already thinking about if we should go somewhere after nap time. Because apparently I’m a masochist.

Well, well, well. Hello old friends, the stairs. When I first walked outside to work out, all I could think was I’m tired, it’s hot af, the kitchen is a mess, and I’m kinda pissed at K for bopping her sister in the face with a toy car. (Seriously, who does that?) But 5 miles and 1k+ stairs and I’m feeling like I’m on top of the f*cking world . (Can I please bottle this feeling for later? ) My organs are still feeling pretty sloshy but my incision doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as it did during my last jog. I also noticed more jiggly parts on my body than I remember? Not a fan! But… those jiggly spots are the result of me growing 2 beautiful girls so I can’t complain too much. And I am way more concerned with how my body feels and performs these days ?. And how it feels is amazing and performance…. is getting there

Enjoying some time outside with the girls and reflecting a little bit. Today was a bittersweet day for our family. Jason started a new job. It’s an excellent opportunity for him and I am so proud of how hard he has worked. After teaching himself web development and landing his first job in the field last May, he has grown so much both at work and by continuing to expand his knowledge at home. It came as no surprise that his hard work was acknowledged and he got a wonderful new opportunity. The difficult part is that accepting this new position meant giving up working from home.

Accepting this new position meant giving up working from home.

I don’t know how I would have gotten through recovering from a c section while taking care of a baby and a toddler without all of Jason’s help. He did almost everything for the first 2 weeks and from weeks 2-6, and he still put K down for naps and to bed bc I couldn’t lift her. Week 6, just 3 weeks ago, I began to do it all on my own. Part of me wonders if the universe gave him the work-from-home opportunity (his last job was not work-from-home at the beginning and only started to be so in January) just so he could be there for me and then offer the new opportunity when we were ready for it. It could not have come at a more perfect time. I’ll miss spending his lunch hour with him and having his company throughout the day, even when he was working, but I know it’s for the best. We are all so proud of him.